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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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user981 Girl pushed me away for being nice and caring
  • replies: 4

So this girl used to be extremely close with me then things started going downhill... she started being different. She says she's got depression which I think is from other guys in the past which have hurt her and this may be a reason why she does ce... View more

So this girl used to be extremely close with me then things started going downhill... she started being different. She says she's got depression which I think is from other guys in the past which have hurt her and this may be a reason why she does certain things. She always brings me close and then pushes me away. She's told me she's scared we will get close again and she doesn't want to be that close so she pushes me away. (I've tried telling her that I don't want to be that close and just want to be friends) it's confusing what she does, one moment we are talking good and are happy and then the next moment she's pushing me away and says she doesn't want to talk to me. I don't get what causes her to be nervous after she seems very comfortable and happy to talking. Some reasons which she mentioned were that she gets nervous, she is uncomfortable, she doesn't want to get too close again. She told me that she is not used to someone caring so much for her and says she is nervous and scared. She also said: "i know there aren’t many nice people in life. but i’m not used to it and it’s scary" "I don't like it" "i know it sounds dumb to push someone away who’s nice to you but it’s overwhelming" "i don’t want to be hurt but i’m not used to people treating me this good and it sounds dumb but i don’t like it" So that's what she said... I have given up on chasing her and I said I won't talk to her but I will always be here if she needs anything. Anyone know why she says that and thinks that way though? Will she realise maybe that she has lost someone good in her life?

relatereality Guilt, rage and emotional rollercoasters
  • replies: 5

Hi, I am very new to this and have read through many other threads (which have been great in making me feel like I am not alone) but I just felt I should write a thread to see if anyone else would relate or if what I'm feeling even makes sense, or if... View more

Hi, I am very new to this and have read through many other threads (which have been great in making me feel like I am not alone) but I just felt I should write a thread to see if anyone else would relate or if what I'm feeling even makes sense, or if I'm just being overdramatic. Anyway, ive found that lately my rollercoasters of emotions have been that much more draining. Thinking back through my memories I recall times where I was over-hyper, to the point it was incredibly embarrassing and left people almost uncomfortable. Or periods where I was depressed and turned to going out every weekend and over indulging in everything I really shouldn't be. But lately day to day life has just become confusing. Working shifts have become a period of intense happiness and then just dull separation from my surroundings. I am either happy or incredibly full of rage, taking it out on my family and arguing so intensely over minute things that the neighbours can hear and I then sit in my own shame. Small inconveniences in my relationships and upsetting people have left me wanting to remove everyone from my life and run away. I would love to sometimes live in a void of nothingness, which sounds silly but I am paranoid of everything. I push people away based on my own preconceptions for months at a time. I live with someone who is experiencing their own detrimental problems and seeing this makes me want to take control and steer my life in a better place than theirs. I'm worried that my emotions are starting to take more of a hold of my life - how I act in the workplace and my relationships. Usually I would be able to keep these things to myself. I fear that ultimately i'll reach a level of chaos and leave destruction behind that I will never be able to clean up and that everyone will view me as a horrible person. But I have a heart and all I want to give is love yet all that comes out is neglect for others or crazy highs where I would be able to take over the world and succeed and that nothing really matters because I perceive myself as a future godlike person. That sounds so very silly but I dont know where these emotions come from cause it isn't who I really am or want to be. Im rambling at this point but if anyone has any idea on how I can dampen these waves that seem to take over me I would love to talk to you and discuss anything that may come to mind

niko22 Dealing with Guilt and Separation
  • replies: 4

Hey everyone, I've been really struggling with the negative impact I've had on someone else's life and the separation anxiety and feelings of guilt that has come of it. I have recently stopped talking to my ex-girlfriend, We dated for 2 years and for... View more

Hey everyone, I've been really struggling with the negative impact I've had on someone else's life and the separation anxiety and feelings of guilt that has come of it. I have recently stopped talking to my ex-girlfriend, We dated for 2 years and for the most part it went well however i was not totally engaged towards the end of it and made some terrible decisions that tore us apart and eventually ended the relationship. What hurt the most was we still had love for one another after the breakup, even despite the fact of what I had done to her as well. I was holding onto her because I still loved her and wanted to make things work but I knew that the destruction I had caused was too much for her and that i had to let go. Things ended peacefully and we both gave one another the closure we desired but I just can't shrug the pain. This has been really hard for me and it hasn't been the first time something like this has happened to me. I am pursuing professional help and have made conscious efforts to try and rid myself of the negative behaviours that keep leading me into these predicaments, but letting go of her and processing the guilt is proving difficult. Has anyone else gone through something similar and have any advice to give?

stressedcrayon Having a little vent...
  • replies: 4

Could be triggering Mentions of: Animal sickness, death Possibly toxic parents I am currently doing a year 12 equivalent. I managed to get past the last semester of school with really good marks but I'm still mentally exhausted from the last couple o... View more

Could be triggering Mentions of: Animal sickness, death Possibly toxic parents I am currently doing a year 12 equivalent. I managed to get past the last semester of school with really good marks but I'm still mentally exhausted from the last couple of weeks of tests and assessments. Didn't help that an animal companion of mine was dying and had to be put down just a couple days before starting. I watched him stop eating, drinking and he lost a lot of weight. It hit me hard as I knew at the start of his last 48 hours there was no chance of recovery. He was a small animal so it's harder to determine what exactly had made him this way and it was harder to find out on his species. Unfortunately small animals will try to hide their illness. His birthday was only a couple of days before. I wish I could turn back time but I can't. I can't change what happened to him. My mother was quick to mention the vet bills, it hadn't even been half a day. Yet she was even "upset" about putting him down. That wasn't the last mention of money either. The next day was my father's day with me, the day after school. He has emotionally blackmailed me in the past that still effects me. School didn't start on a good point with me already being depressed and now mourning. I'm pretty much a zombie and I fail to complete my first assessment - a report. It was a simple report to do but being depressed, sleep deprived, starved (starving myself = no energy) and dumb, doesn't lead to much good. I find it hard to ask for help and it doesn't help I'm a bit of a perfectionist (I'm insecure about not being smart). Believing I was out of the course I texted my mother (I was too scared to do it in person) while my father was still around as I was afraid of being yelled at and kicked out. I expressed that I was upset about it and did not what to talk about it right away. She didn't respect my feelings and wishes... I stayed at my Grandma's and with her calm touch things were getting better and we finished the report together. Now a weeks later I am in a similar situation again... very stressed and still depressed... my mother knows it's overdue... she did offer to help once but I was currently angry as I remembered about all the times she yelled, ignored and degraded/belittled me... So today has been a mixture of anger and crying... Am falling behind as we speak both school and mental health wise... I am just feeling like I'm mentally destroyed Will try to mention to my therapist...

Setti Feeling Helpless
  • replies: 6

Depression for me seems to be a circle of problems. I'm always exhausted, so I can't work more than a few hours a week. Because I can't work, I don't have enough money to see a psych or go on meds, and I can't get any Centrelink support unless I'm lo... View more

Depression for me seems to be a circle of problems. I'm always exhausted, so I can't work more than a few hours a week. Because I can't work, I don't have enough money to see a psych or go on meds, and I can't get any Centrelink support unless I'm looking for full-time work. Then the person I live with criticises me for 'sitting around all day' which makes me feel worse, and we loop back to the start... I just wish things weren't so expensive, or that psychological help didn't come with a huge bill. I was on the medicare rebate, which dropped my fee down to $25 a session, but I had to quit my job (because of the depression) and now I can't even afford that. I guess I just feel stuck. Has anyone else been in a similar situation, or have any tips on how to get out of it?

Evelina Thought I was coping with lockdown
  • replies: 2

Hi I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to communicate with family and friends as I feel I’m an extra sad person atM. Normally I’m a people’s person but I just want to disappear . I’ve dreamt about my late Mother lately and this makes me more ... View more

Hi I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to communicate with family and friends as I feel I’m an extra sad person atM. Normally I’m a people’s person but I just want to disappear . I’ve dreamt about my late Mother lately and this makes me more sad. I m diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I’m feeling tension at front part of my head . Reading the above I wouldn’t want to be around me , I’m hoping I’m not on my own in this that it’s normal to feel alone n isolated , I have a little dog he keeps me on this earth I’m sure .

white knight Caring for the mentally unwell
  • replies: 7

The vast majority of carers do not have any training to be a carer. Most times they are simply partners that fall into that role. So how do they cope? Unfortunately when the mentally ill are unwell we tend to drift into the "it's all about me" syndro... View more

The vast majority of carers do not have any training to be a carer. Most times they are simply partners that fall into that role. So how do they cope? Unfortunately when the mentally ill are unwell we tend to drift into the "it's all about me" syndrome. This is natural as our minds fund the basic tasks daunting. Symptoms like insecurity, headaches, feelings of low self esteem and exhaustion find us with little patien f2f e even towards those reaching out to us. Regardless of our depression and it's associated difficulties we still have an obligation towards our carer. For example: if you feel bedridden but you are capable in attending the bathroom or answering your phone or watching TV then when your carer returns home from their job, you are capable of making him/her a cuppa. A simple form if expressing gratitude. That basic task is symbolic in expression of respect. Many carers end up with stress related issues over time. They run a household, often work, listen to our struggles and don't have anyone to listen to theirs. This can wear a carer down to the point of wanting to escape. Carers need care and appreciation, the least we can do is show it when we have the capacity to do so. Consider respite for your carer. Encourage them to socialise even if you cannot join them and a hobby. Their contentment in those areas will create a good balance rather than a life of work and caring with no end in sight of any substantial improvement in our depressed state. Carers need us too. Are you a carer? Do you have ideas on how your "patient could help you? TonyWK

yeahnah12 Hi? Idk what to do.
  • replies: 3

hi, idk what to do. I've reached the point where I have no clue what to do with my life anymore. It has no direction and I am lacking any sort of motivation or ambition. I have felt rather numb as of late, but I've found I am very good at pretending ... View more

hi, idk what to do. I've reached the point where I have no clue what to do with my life anymore. It has no direction and I am lacking any sort of motivation or ambition. I have felt rather numb as of late, but I've found I am very good at pretending I'm okay in the presence of others. I'm currently trying to apply for universities for degrees I know I am qualified for but at the end of the day I know deep down I have no passion or drive to endure. I cannot imagine a future self, something I have personally struggled with for years. I have no clue what I want to be, what I want to do, or what even makes me happy. I feel as though I have lost myself by trying to please others and its gotten to the point where I don't know who I am. I don't have any motivations, ambitions or undying passions. Everyone around me has some sort of direction, some people have everything planned out, others have numerous spontaneous pathways and the rest have some vague, but passionate, pathways. I don't. I say I'm interested in certain subjects, which I was, but I have no clue what I want to do with them. My lack of motivation has made it difficult to navigate my last year of school, and has been overwhelming at times. Especially with the prospect that everything I have done and studied leads me into a pathway I will forever despise and regret. I feel like my friends and family will judge me if I tell them this, that I'll disappoint them, or they'll not take it seriously. I'm suppose to be the 'high-achiever' but my grades have been slipping, I can't concentrate in class and idk what I want to do in the future. Some days its hard to even get out of bed and I feel like every day is just another masquerade. I'm just utterly and completely lost in life. I just was wondering if anyone could give me advice? I have no clue what I'm even asking but anything would be helpful. Thank you.

Postado Demotivated Struggle
  • replies: 3

Hello, I have been struggling with depression and disassociation for a long time now. I have trouble identifying feelings and emotions. Been seeing a psychologist who has been helping me out with hypnosis therapy. Stuff actually works.. I have begun ... View more

Hello, I have been struggling with depression and disassociation for a long time now. I have trouble identifying feelings and emotions. Been seeing a psychologist who has been helping me out with hypnosis therapy. Stuff actually works.. I have begun to disassociate less which I suppose it's good? But that means I am left dealing with all these emotions and feelings but I have not much idea of what they mean. Anyways the one feeling that I am struggling with the most is a feeling of emotional pain that comes whenever I try to do anything. Example I like drawing.. if I decide that I want to draw I have the initial motivation to come up with the idea but as soon as I pick up a pencil or make a move I get crushed by this overwhelming emotional pain. This happens when ever I try do something I 'like'... It seems the only thing I can do is lay down or sit still. Has anyone else experienced something like this or have an idea of what I could do to get past this?

Chook3 Lost
  • replies: 4

Hello I am really struggling atm. I have recently separated from my husband of 20yrs, it was a mutual decision but I am struggling so much, I feel so detached from everything even my own kids, I took on extra responsibility at work at the same time, ... View more

Hello I am really struggling atm. I have recently separated from my husband of 20yrs, it was a mutual decision but I am struggling so much, I feel so detached from everything even my own kids, I took on extra responsibility at work at the same time, I have a father who is sick and can no longer drive so my sister and I have stepped up and are doing everything we can for him, I feel like I have lost most of my friends as I am so detached, I will not speak to anyone who is a mutual friend of both me and my ex husband out of respect for him, I do not want anyone to feel like there in the middle so I have stepped back big time. I have minimul support one of my children has ADHD and is very angry atm, I feel like he is blaming me for our separation I feel so detached, so lost, so lonely, I miss my ex husband a lot but I know he doesn't feel the same, I am having a hard time trying to let go, I feel completely deflated, I feel like I do everything wrong and question everything I do and say, I feel like I have gotten to the point where I just am starting to give up because I just can't seem to fix myself, or my kids, I have never felt so alone