Hi? Idk what to do.

[yeahnah12]

hi, idk what to do.

I've reached the point where I have no clue what to do with my life anymore. It has no direction and I am lacking any sort of motivation or ambition. I have felt rather numb as of late, but I've found I am very good at pretending I'm okay in the presence of others.

I'm currently trying to apply for universities for degrees I know I am qualified for but at the end of the day I know deep down I have no passion or drive to endure. I cannot imagine a future self, something I have personally struggled with for years. I have no clue what I want to be, what I want to do, or what even makes me happy.

I feel as though I have lost myself by trying to please others and its gotten to the point where I don't know who I am. I don't have any motivations, ambitions or undying passions. Everyone around me has some sort of direction, some people have everything planned out, others have numerous spontaneous pathways and the rest have some vague, but passionate, pathways. I don't. I say I'm interested in certain subjects, which I was, but I have no clue what I want to do with them.

My lack of motivation has made it difficult to navigate my last year of school, and has been overwhelming at times. Especially with the prospect that everything I have done and studied leads me into a pathway I will forever despise and regret.

I feel like my friends and family will judge me if I tell them this, that I'll disappoint them, or they'll not take it seriously. I'm suppose to be the 'high-achiever' but my grades have been slipping, I can't concentrate in class and idk what I want to do in the future. Some days its hard to even get out of bed and I feel like every day is just another masquerade.

I'm just utterly and completely lost in life. I just was wondering if anyone could give me advice? I have no clue what I'm even asking but anything would be helpful.

Thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Yeahnah12, thanks for joining us here on the Beyond Blue Forums. We know it can be tough to reach out and ask for help when we need it, so thank you for having the insight and courage to do so. We're so sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be so difficult to feel this way in an already stressful and overwhelming year. Although, it might seem like others have everything sorted out, we are confident that many of them feel similarly to you. Please know that you've come to a safe space to talk about these thoughts and feelings and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need. Can we ask, do you have any mental health support? We understand it can be really tough to cope sometimes, especially if you don't have a lot of support from family or friends. If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport 
They will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area. We'd also recommend that you check out the Reach Out website. They have alot of great resources that you might find beneficial, particularly the following articles: https://au.reachout.com/collections/future-stress

Many of our members have also been through a lot in their lives and will be able to talk through these feelings with you.  If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best help support you.
 

[FrogInThePond]

Hey yeahnah,

I've definitely been in a similar situation to you, where the degree I was doing at university appealed less and less to me. I started to put less and less effort in, which of course lead to worse results, which fed back into a cycle of liking the course even less. After going through a lot of depression and therapy, I've ended up in a different course that I find much more meaning in.

Of course, I don't want you to have to take the same long path, so hopefully I can can give you some shortcuts. For a start, here's an exercise:

First, find a list of list of personal values. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to just link you to a,list, so just search for a 'list of personal values' and pick one that's nice and long. There's some with hundreds out there!

Take one of these long lists, go through each entry, and write down a separate list of all the values you consider important. Not just the values that you think you should find important, but the ones that matter to you personally. You've probably still got a pretty decent list, right?

Now get that list down to six.

This can be quite hard, especially where values overlap or conflict. You can try and combine some, and weigh up what's most important to you. If you're really struggling, maybe add one or two more, but set a hard limit at eight.

Once you have this list, congratulations! You now have a list of your core values. You should probably save this list, and use it. Consider all the degrees you've thought of applying for and see how the stack up compared to your values. Conversely, take you list of values and extrapolate out the kind of life you would live if you followed these values to the fullest.

Now, there's no one simple trick that can instantly restore your passion and drive, but hopefully this exercise has given you a compass, or even just highlighted some of the directions you might prefer. Let us know how it goes!

[geoff]

Hello Yeahnah, thanks for your comment.

When you think about applying for a uni degree, we tend to think of the end result, such as becoming a vet but to have this qualification requires years of study, and that's what could be the discouragement to get you motivated.

What your friends are doing is what they've decided on, but it shouldn't be any comparison to how you are getting on, they have a different personality and their circumstances maybe completely unlike what you are coping with.

I'm not stopping you from achieving what you want, however, the three years I spent to qualify for a diploma is a far distance to what I've actually done, later on, so you don't have to keep up or do any better than what your friends are saying, simply because you may feel forced into something you never wish you wanted to do.

Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 can be contacted up to the age of 25, like Headspace you can talk, web chat or online communication, they are also trained counsellors who dress in casual clothes.

Have a rest rather than do something you may despise.

Geoff.