i think i have depression...

[penguin7676]

Hi. I'm kinda new to the forums.

I have anxiety. It's great. (*obvious sarcasm*) I also suck in social situations. I find it hard to understand sarcasm and jokes. So about mid last year when I started having days when I felt completely empty I was kinda annoyed, but also not the concerned. I just kinda played it off as being a moody teenager. But then those days started to happen more frequently, like once a fortnight. During christmas break it actually wasn't too bad. Since school has started up again it's happening more frequently, like once a fortnight-once a weekish.

My friends have pointed out that it might be depression, but I'm almost too scared to put a label on it. Like once I know what it really is, then it will be like really real. I brushed it off and said that depression should happen more consistently. (cause that's what I used to think depression was, constant) But my friend said that depression can be everyday, or once a week, once a fortnight, once a month. So I looked up symptoms of depression and...

• anxiety, apathy, general discontent, guilt, hopelessness, loss of interest, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, mood swings, or sadness - I have anxiety, I've always cared about others, I feel guilty about stuff I did or said like 5 years ago, I had quite a loss in writing and reading for a while, my mood changes all the time
• agitation, excessive crying, irritability, restlessness, or social isolation - I've always been emotionally out of control. (I get annoyed and sad easily and cry a lot) I also don't have many friends and the friends I do have I kinda suck at keeping in contact with
• early awakening, excess sleepiness, insomnia, fatigue or restless sleep - I find it really hard to fall asleep and get up in the morning, I'm also basically always tired
• excessive hunger, or loss of appetite - I don't really feel hungry unless I eat something, like I can go over half the day without feeling hungry, but if I eat something like a slice of apple I will want to eat more and more food
• lack of concentration, slowness in activity, or thoughts of suicide - I find it hard to concentrate, I've always been lazy, and I've had suicidal thoughts for about a year now (I've never tried to do anything though.)
• weight gain or weight loss - I've gained a little weight but not that much
• repeatedly going over thought - I over think everything

Can someone who knows about this pls explain what is going on with me?

[Sophie_M]

Hi penguin7676,

Thank you for so generously sharing some of what's going on for you lately. We know it isn't easy but it is so important that you have. Users here give and receive support to one another based on their own experiences with mental health, many of which will have elements in common to yours. 

Our friends at Headspace have some really good information to help young people like you understand and deal with things like thoughts of suicide. We encourage you to read this article and please note the numbers and links for Lifeline and the Suicide Call Back Service at the top of the page: https://headspace.org.au/young-people/understanding-and-dealing-with-suicide/

If you'd like to talk to someone right now about how you are feeling, we'd encourage you to reach out to out firends at Kidshelpline on 1800 55 1800. They also offer 24/7 webchat support if you feel more comfortable typing than talking: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling

While the support on offer here is often quick, it's important to remember it is not immediate. If you want more immediate support, please reach out to any of the services mentioned above or our Support Service which is always available on 1300 22 4636.

Welcome to this wonderful, supportive community. Please reach out and let us know how you're getting on here whenever you feel up to it.

[Matchy69]

Hi penguin and welcome to the BB forums which are a great safe place to post.Iy was a brave first post you made.You sound a lot like me with some of things you have said and I have depression and anxiety.Do you have a GP that you feel really comfortable with that you can show them what you have written here? A doctor can make a proper diagnoses and help you with it maby prescribing medication or recommending a phycholigist.We are here to talk and assist you in your journey.
Take care,
Mark.

[Emmen]

Dear penguin7676,

Welcome to the forums. It's brave of you to reach out and share what you're feeling.

I understand the fear of putting a label on it. Yet putting a label on it could be what helps you recover. You'd go to a GP if you felt physically ill. There's no difference between that and going to a GP and getting evaluated for a mental illness. Either way, you don't have to keep suffering in silence without knowing what's wrong.

Our community has many members who struggle with depression and anxiety. They will be happy to support you on your path to recovery so please don't feel alone in this.

Take care, and if you feel comfortable, do share with us your thoughts after seeing a GP so that we can support you.

Kindly,
M

[geoff]

Hello Penguin, thanks for posting our comment.

Anxiety and depression can well be linked together, one day you might worry about something, then the next day you may feel what the consequences may turn out to be and then become depressed, nobody knows and no one can predict the mood you end up being in, plus something may easily trigger you into feeling this way.

It's so complicated because mental illness involves so many different issues, some you may already know, but many times it's hidden away being blocked by something else that concerns you, but it needs to be unravelled as to what's causing it and each day another problem maybe concerning you, rather than what was happening yesterday.

What interests you yesterday no longer feels the same way today and perhaps tomorrow maybe no different and your mood will change because there could be something said or not said that will trigger you into depression, that is not your fault, no one asks for this illness and all the points you've made are prone to this illness.

If it's begun to happen every week, then it's possible to be every day, so please get the help you need so you can begin to enjoy life.

Hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[penguin7676]

Hi Mark,

It's great to know I'm not alone. I have a regular GP I've gone to since I was a little kid. Though I find it more comfortable typing behind a screen, I have talked to my GP recently about my mental health. Not really depression in particular, but I think he got the idea that something wasn't quite right. I'm going to go back to the GP soon, and I'll talk to them about it.

Thank you.

- Penguin

[penguin7676]

Hi Emmen,

Thanks for replying. I understand what your saying about putting a label on it, but it's still scary. I think my parents know something isn't right. They seem to be treating me more carefully, like I might break any second. My sister was actually the first person to bring up depression. I told her I wasn't feeling great cause of mental health, then she blurted out I have anxiety and depression. At first I told her "No! I don't have depression" and changed the subject, but something about a label felt like it fit. I'm going to talk to my GP again soon. I'll post what the result is after.

Thank you again for replying.

-Penguin

[penguin7676]

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for replying, your advice really helped. I'm going to see my GP soon, so I will post what the results are after. Thank you again everyone.

-Penguin

[Guest_4643]

Hi penguin7676, welcome. i'm sorry you're dealing with all of that stuff. It's ok to have mental illnesses, nothing to be ashamed of.

You would have to see a GP and/or Psychiatrist though, as they make diagnoseses.

[Mad1]

Hi,

I am extremely new to this and I read your post and I was in awe of how much alike this sounds to me. The past 2 years I have gained extra weigh which feels horrible, I am never able to get to sleep at night nor wake up in the mornings, also in the past few months I have been getting extremely emotional I cry at the drop of a hat and I was so confused i didn't know what was happening to me along with that I have become very fidgety and irritated which is not normally like me. so just tonight I was extra emotional and decided to look up signs on depression and all stuff like that then i came upon the beyond blue depression test. I took the test and I saw that my results were high and I didn't know what to think I immediately burst into tears i continued to read and i got to a point about suicide and that most people to get the same results as me on the test would normally be thinking of suicide and i completely lost it i was crying my head of i was wheezing and i couldn't stop, it was so overwhelming. Then i was exploring beyond blue a bit more and came across these forums. I created my own and it felt so good just to type out what was happening. I then saw your post and i couldn't believe that your post was so relatable to how i have been feeling and in someway it was like a relief that i knew i wasn't the only one who was going through almost the exact same thing. So thank you so much for sharing you have no idea how much this helped me.