i need someone to talk to

[_blank]

lately i’ve just been feeling very lonely and just very upset. i was diagnosed w depression around 6 months ago and for the first part i found it very difficult to accept. i’ve finally accepted that i am struggling but i just feel like my family isn’t supporting me in the way i need. they’re being extremely over protective and i feel like i am being suffocated by their restrictions. i’ve never really used this platform before so i am not really sure how it works. right now i just feel very alone w my thoughts and i just can’t seem to sleep. i don’t know why i feel so upset but i just do, i feel like it never rlly goes away no matter how much i try to push it away and not let it affect me. i really don’t like the way my parents are trying to deal with it by taking away my electronics during the night time, i took my phone as i was feeling very upset and i felt like i needed to reach out and get help. i usually don’t do stuff like this when i feel this way but i just can’t bare being alone w my own thoughts, i feel like i’m being controlled by my sadness and my pain and it just won’t go away. it’s so constant that at night i lose sleep over being upset and anxious. people keep telling me it gets better but i feel like it’s just getting worse. honestly, i don’t really want to be alive at the moment but i don’t want to act upon it bc of the people i have in my life that i don’t want to leave behind or leave upset. i want to keep pushing through but it just feels so difficult at the moment bc it feels like my parents have put up a barrier by restricting me and trying to control my life like it’s their own. i am truly sick of what they are trying to do for me bc it’s just not working and makes me feel worse rather than better. i feel like i’m trapped in a cage and i just can’t get out. i feel really upset and sick of everything. i wish i could reach out to my friends but i just don’t want to bother them bc i honestly have no idea if they would care or not. my parents have restricted my support from my friends in order to get me to seek help from them, but that’s just not what i want at all. i just feel like i need some way of communicating how i’m feeling but honestly i don’t know if typing this out is really helping me. if you read this far thank you for taking time out of your day.

[Sophie_M]

Hey _Blank,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums,

Thanks for joining us here tonight. We're so sorry to hear how lonely and upset you feel. We understand how difficult it must have been to receive a diagnosis of depression. Such a label is quite a lot to process. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone, there is help available to you.

We'd like to let you know that our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you.

We would strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/. It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Thanks again for reaching out tonight, we hope some of our friendly community members can stop by to offer their support. 

[Guest9337]

G'day _blank,

That's some eloquently peaceful language you are using there. I read your post twice, thank you.

Your words are so shining with light that I recommend you show them to your parents and friends.

At least hand them in to a teacher for extra credit in English hey?!

If you had a wonderful life, what would that look like?

[_blank]

Hey david ‘n’ goliath,

thankyou for responding to my post i really appreciate it. a perfect life for me would be one where i can live without judgement and without intense sadness. i feel like it would just make everything feel a lot less stressful and frustrating if there was no overhead image of what i’m pushing through. pretty much what i am saying is that a life w some sadness would be okay but i don’t want my life to revolve around sadness. i would also want some good friends and a supportive family that listen to what i say.

[David35]

I found that writing sometimes helped me get my thoughts out of my head, like a journal. Just the act of writing can force you to think about how you feel and possibly even identify why you're feeling this way. Having said that, it's important to not go through this alone. Supportive friends and family are very important.

[Learn to Fly]

Hi _blank,

Writing is great, especially on the forum like this one where nobody is going to judge you, when you can freely speak your mind up and feel heard and quite possibly, understood by some. It helps to vent frustration or whatever feelings accumulate in you. Feelings that you might not want to express in any other way.
Thank you for sharing them with us. Feeling privileged.

Take care.

[Guest9337]

_blank said:

Hey david ‘n’ goliath,

thankyou for responding to my post i really appreciate it. a perfect life for me would be one where i can live without judgement and without intense sadness. i feel like it would just make everything feel a lot less stressful and frustrating if there was no overhead image of what i’m pushing through. pretty much what i am saying is that a life w some sadness would be okay but i don’t want my life to revolve around sadness. i would also want some good friends and a supportive family that listen to what i say.

Hi _blank, That's some really good stuff you post about your vision of a perfect life. Keep at it.

re judgement. Unfortunately pretty much everyone judges, what I hope to avoid is prejudgement, where someone already believes they know me enough to judge me, when they actually don't.

re intense sadness. Yep I have felt that too. Mostly unpleasant.

re less stress. Totally would be great to experience! centrelink stresses me hugely. What stresses you?

re good friends and family are huge needs for us to be healthy, work at those relationships they are important.

Love ya, party hard. dng

[therising]

Hi _blank

It is easy to spot someone who speaks or writes from the heart. They will often use the word 'feel'. You are so sensitive to what you feel and it's so impressive the way you express this. I feel for you so much as you try to make greater sense of your life and the deep challenges you face within it.

I've found that while great sensitivity can feel like a curse, it actually holds many abilities. Personally, it's taken me a number of years to find the kind of people who can reveal the abilities that come with great sensitivity. I've found that while my sensitivity can bring me down it also holds the power to wake me up. Give you a few examples you might be able to relate to:

• The behaviour of others can bring us down. You could be trying to express how you feel when someone shuts your expression down maybe through words such as 'You're being ridiculous. You're overreacting' or 'You're too sensitive. You need to toughen up'. By the way, I can't stand that 'toughen up' mantra (it triggers me). Being shut down is a horrible feeling. On a positive, it's also the same feeling that wakes you up to the fact that you may be surrounded by non listeners. You have the ability to spot or sense non listeners. You can feel when you're around them. The question becomes about how you would lead them to listen or the question might more so be about who you'd begin seeking to listen to you, productively
• We might feel brought down by the lack of answers or direction we're seeking. The ability to sense a lack and a need becomes part of finding answers and direction. The feeling is like having a compass, giving you direction toward certain people and away from others. Another example: The physical/emotional feelings that come with a lack of inspiration, compared to an abundance of inspiration are entirely different. One feeling is draining, the other is energising. Can you feel when you're around a naturally inspirational person? If you can't, this might be because you haven't found anyone who inspires you in ways you can fully relate to. Such people can be hard to find/sense at times
• Sensing the absence of 'a key' can definitely leave us feeling like we're stuck in a cage, with no way out. Sensing 'a key' element/feeling a sense of progress is like the feeling of when something just 'clicks'

Sounds like you have many abilities. You can feel/sense so much both around and within you. Feeling so much can be overwhelming and even exhausting at times.

🙂

[Alannah57]

I hope you’re okay, I know what it is to feel horribly down about life too. Keep pushing on and trying to get help, you are a lovely person I’m sure. Also.. I’ve recently been through a hard time, and I’m learning that sometimes just sitting in those horrible feelings and finding coping mechanisms is the best way to go. When life feels like rock climbing and like you’re going to just fall off, just hold on no matter how painful it is; and develop great, healthy coping strategies? And try to laugh a lot if you feel like you can. And have fun but don’t lose yourself to people who will use you or to unhealthiness.

[_blank]

hey dng,
sorry it took me a while to respond to your reply. i feel like living in a life free of judgement would be like living in a utopia where nothing really matters and everyone is mates, it would be quite weird but i really understand your point on judgement and i agree with it whole heartedly. it sounds unpleasant but i am enjoying being able to share my experience with the people on this forum and know that some are going through the same things as me, it gives me hope for the future knowing that other people deal with it to and come out of it better than ever. Something that stresses me is the people that i know and love forgetting about me, that is my biggest fear.
Thank you for your response it feels good having someone to talk to,
cheers blank