Depression

Wandering soul- Am I the only one?

replies: 7

Where to begin. I've only lived in Australia for 1.5 years after moving overseas from Europe (Scandinavia) to spend time and life with my partner here in Australia. Of course it all began with quite a ride entering the country just prior to Covid sta... View more

Where to begin. I've only lived in Australia for 1.5 years after moving overseas from Europe (Scandinavia) to spend time and life with my partner here in Australia. Of course it all began with quite a ride entering the country just prior to Covid starting and the lockdowns. Me and my partner spend years together in a long distance relationship, before I decided to make the move across the globe and restart life here in my mid 30's. To say the least it has been trying, much of course due to everything brought on from Covid. But I've found myself more and more unhappy in others way here as well and over time this has spiralled into more serious behaviour and a depression slowly taking over me. Indeed my time in Australia has proven to be the toughest so far and not very welcoming on many levels. Which to me is still surprising as anyone has ever described Australia as the land of cheery and kind people. Professionally I've been tricked and backstabbed multiple times at this point. So many people have tried or successfully taken advantage of me and the situation. No matter a decade of managerial experience, a degree, proficient in several languages and more I have proven to be very unsuccessful finding employment even without any visa restrictions. Friends are another matter and it seems how kind, welcoming or genuine I try to be, making friends here is rather difficult and the ones I have met so far have proved to be quite the opposite after a while. To be honest, I struggle to have met anyone genuinly kind or professional during my time here and I'm usually quite selective and good at reading people. So battling horrible experiences and general exclusion from society here, depression has slowly began to creep on to me and take over more and more. It is now at the point where I begin to question why and what life is really for and if it is all worth it. The struggle is daily and for weeks now I have been tired and genuinly not felt any joy or excitement from anything. I feel empty, excluded, lied and backstabbed to. And I begin to hate the life here. This is all new to me. I guess I wanted to hear if there was anyone else with similar experiences here or thoughts? Or if anyone had any great tips for battling depression and not letting it take over completely? I have seen a psychologist for 2 months but felt it didn't give me anything practical to work with. Am usually cheery and great guy but not in love with anything here so far but still hoping.

I NEED HOPE

replies: 19

So, on the roller coaster again. Since entering adulthood many moons ago it seems I can't shake off the soul sapping reality that I CONSTANTLY suffer depression, such that it renders me incapable of anything beyond mere existence. I try to pick mysel... View more

So, on the roller coaster again. Since entering adulthood many moons ago it seems I can't shake off the soul sapping reality that I CONSTANTLY suffer depression, such that it renders me incapable of anything beyond mere existence. I try to pick myself up over and over but as it is I'm here again. I'm tired. I do NOT want this to be a dictating factor of my existence but it seems to always leach in

don't waste time with the bad, live with the good!

replies: 2

I'm no optimist. I suffer from depression & anxiety & ocd. It's been a mental roller-coaster ever since the start of the covid stay-at-home/work-from-home thing. Today is the same as yesterday, and tomorrow will not be any better. I came across this ... View more

I'm no optimist. I suffer from depression & anxiety & ocd. It's been a mental roller-coaster ever since the start of the covid stay-at-home/work-from-home thing. Today is the same as yesterday, and tomorrow will not be any better. I came across this line from a movie that has been a very helpful daily reminder - don't waste time with the bad, live with the good! What caught my attention was "don't waste time ......". So true - my mental issues have consumed so much of my time & energy that I could've spent doing something that I enjoy. I've stopped trying to achieve perfect-happiness. Instead look for little positive things everyday to make life more bearable for myself. Every little bit helps. Each short-term adds up to a long-term. Hope this will help someone out there who's feeling down.

All gone

replies: 2

Everything has disappeared. Colour, drive, morality. Only a cold reality of stark unremarkableness stained with a mocking truth that even it will abandon you. With the most sickening of things being a daily occurance that destroys any hope for self r... View more

Everything has disappeared. Colour, drive, morality. Only a cold reality of stark unremarkableness stained with a mocking truth that even it will abandon you. With the most sickening of things being a daily occurance that destroys any hope for self respect and an inability to resist temptations, a spark which has also gone the way off all things, what a cruelty it is to ask that I hope for more. But if I truly despised this, why be here? Why does being here feel like a defeat? What am I trying to win? All I have is this delusion of unique suffering that is anything but. Its just so dark in here I can't see you.

Dont really understand my feelings

replies: 2

The past few years i havnt been feeling the greatest about my mental health and i still dont fully know why. This all stemed from some drama between me and my friends which has pretty much resulted in me becoming distant with them despite me being ve... View more

The past few years i havnt been feeling the greatest about my mental health and i still dont fully know why. This all stemed from some drama between me and my friends which has pretty much resulted in me becoming distant with them despite me being very close to everyone before. When I then attempted to fix the relationships between my friends and I but only resulted in more drama and being outcasted even more. Its kind of weird because now I think about it I've always thought in the back of my mind that they are not the type of people i should be surronding myself with. Despite the fact that i am only in Y12 and with Uni being able to give me a "fresh start" next year, there is still often times where i just get hit with sadness if i see them having fun and stuff without me, even though their hobbies dont appeal to me anymore. When im sad i also tend to have a lot of self sabotage e.g. feeling of no worth, even though i have high expectations of my future and believe that all this drama is a blessing is diguise that will lead me to meet other people. I have decent grades, very loving parents and siblings, im constantly happy about my weight loss progress, and like most of the time im usually very happy and smile a lot. But I just dont understand why sometimes i feel so sad even when i know that in the long run everyting will be fine.

Nothing mattered

replies: 5

Everything leading up to who I am now seems superfluous. All I am is failing heap of contemptible garbage. I was born wrong and ill die hated, I know it. Its no surprise she doesn't want me. Its no surprise everyone forgot. And this is the only place... View more

Everything leading up to who I am now seems superfluous. All I am is failing heap of contemptible garbage. I was born wrong and ill die hated, I know it. Its no surprise she doesn't want me. Its no surprise everyone forgot. And this is the only place I can tell anyone. I don't understand, I don't learn, everythings grey and diffuse. Why doesn't anyone want me

Never ending depression

replies: 3

Hi Folks What are your tips when you’ve been in a state of depression long enough you can’t remember what it felt like beforehand and despondent enough to feel like you’ll never emerge form it?

Over myself

replies: 3

i haven't been online for a while now but have hit another really low period. To be clear, always low it just varies in intensity. At the moment i am pretty rock bottom. Been trying to force myself to exercise, go for a walk, get out of the house but... View more

i haven't been online for a while now but have hit another really low period. To be clear, always low it just varies in intensity. At the moment i am pretty rock bottom. Been trying to force myself to exercise, go for a walk, get out of the house but just not succeeding very well. I just look at myself in the mirror every morning and hate what i see. I am constantly 'putting on a brave face' which is exhausting. Occasionally i lose it and burst into tears and if i am at home i just keep working (as i work from home). If i manage to force myself out of the house it doesn't take much to bring me to tears and then i go home again. Invited to a wedding i really should be going to but it was stressing me so much thinking about it that i declined as i didn't want to have a meltdown in 'public' and certainly didn't want to ruin somebodys' wedding day. I know logically that i should force myself out but it is just getting harder and harder. I have my cat who is the only thing keeping me going which sounds pathetic but it is what it is. I have been promising myself to get back into my yoga and walking for the last two months but just haven't done it. Don't expect anybody to fix me but i just really needed to vent today, so there it is.

A DAILY SCHEDULE CAN HELP WITH LOCKDOWN DEPRESSION

replies: 17

Hi Everyone I have noticed on our forum many posts where people are effected by lockdown - and now I read that many of our returning Olympic athletes, returning from huge success, are depressed by quarantine and general settling back into post Olympi... View more

Hi Everyone I have noticed on our forum many posts where people are effected by lockdown - and now I read that many of our returning Olympic athletes, returning from huge success, are depressed by quarantine and general settling back into post Olympic life. I was struck by the advice that many of the athletes received, or created for themselves, that helped their attitude. Simply put, it was to have a daily schedule and stick to it. If I may offer one small suggestion that has proven very successful with people suddenly separated from their support framework due to lock down - that is to have a routine and keep busy with it. Even Olympic athletes who have recently been on top of the world are now finding that those who have created a daily routine and stick to it are coping much better. This probably sounds too easy - but I personally find that when my mind is occupied or thinking of the next daily thing to do (they are NOT regarded as tasks), I feel much better and the day flies by. My daily list includes a 1 hour exercise programme and I monitor and write down how I feel afterwards each day, relearning how to play my guitar all over again, getting into a great series of books written by Peter Fitzgerald, brushing both our dogs (very therapeutic), thinking about what's for dinner when its my turn etc etc. You may also include study, creative activities, leaning a new language, sorting out your photo gallery and heaps of other stuff. This is so simple and chances are you've heard it all before - but it DOES WORK! The hardest part is getting started, sticking to the schedule, looking forward to the next thing on your daily list, and not allowing your mind space to dwell too much on negative thoughts. Any comments on this would be appreciated - I know it isn't rocket science or even deeply insightful, but the evidence I read is that it works. Have a great day! The bro.

Something needs to change

replies: 5

Something needs to change I can't keep living this way but I don't know what needs to change or how I can change it . I'm paralyzed by all my responsibilities and everyday task I need to do to keep going. I feel alone and isolated but I also want to ... View more

Something needs to change I can't keep living this way but I don't know what needs to change or how I can change it . I'm paralyzed by all my responsibilities and everyday task I need to do to keep going. I feel alone and isolated but I also want to be left alone partly because I don't want to burden anyone with the mess that I am , no ones doing well at the moment and it's not fair on them that I need help because I'm not either. I'm on anti depressants but they don't seems to work anymore , much like my will to get out of bed. Every time it try to dig myself out of this hole I seem to slide back down to a deeper pit . I guess I'm just writing this because I'm hoping that putting my feelings anywhere will help remove the weight of them , I'm so tempted to let them burry me quit my job quit doing anything and just sit in my room in the dark and distract myself with inane videos and shows . But I don't want to do that, I don't want to get to that point , and I know I can't let myself either something needs to change and hopefully this is my first step towards that .

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