I need people IN PERSON.

[RoseJoy]

Okay, so I've been doing pretty well this year, haven't had any serious relapses. However, I am doing the HSC this year and am falling back into my depressive episodes. Aside from that, I think I get what I'm supposed to be doing right? But whenever I'm on a forum here, or anywhere online for that matter, people are always wanting someone to talk to. As am I. But the problem is, for me its just so hard to really appreciate or gain anything from this when its not even in person. I really like hugs. Like really, really. I like fluffy people because I can tell they give great hugs. But no matter how little I care for societal perceptions and expectations; it just wouldn't be right if I hugged someone else's mum (especially if I don't know those people). Which was irrelevant information, sorry.

But what I'm saying is, it would be so nice, if I could find people to sit with and talk with and maybe make some friends. It seems like there's not many opportunities for that anywhere around here - which sucks. And I honestly feel like I want to make a family out of people that are friends, but I don't have any friends to begin with which is difficult. And I've been putting the whole thing off because HSC and Uni apps are so much to think about...idk. I guess I just don't think that making friends with people is going to happen anytime soon.

[Croix]

Dear RoseJoy~

You sound very isolated, something that is pretty horrible for a person that values being with others. Wanting to hug someone, and be hugged, is a natural thing, I know you talked about someone else's mum. If you have someone in mind they probably would be happy to be hugged, most people are.

I guess the HSC and prospect of uni are sure fire ways of increasing stress, and that of course does depression no good. And with that comes feelings of isolation and not being able to fix problems. May I ask if you are under treatment? I got no better until I had proper medical help so would suggest it if you are not.

It's true writing here is not the same as face to face. We have the advantage of similar experiences which makes for better understanding, however it is quite easy to overlook the fact we are all real people trying to deal with our lives just as you are. So I guess we can answer the need for understanding in a way, but as you say not hugs.

So is it possible for you to meet others? Study groups, societies at your college or school, volunteering in areas you enjoy? Getting out and about does increase opportunities to meet people that can become friends. For many people there can be a balance between studies and a social life.

Do you have family to be with too?

Croix

[geoff]

Hi RoseJoy, and a warm welcome to you.

HSC is a long difficult year and a bit of contact like a hug or more so, a warm cuddle makes us feel happy, contented and what about holding hands when you're walking, it's years since that has happened to me, but then I'm old.

How about going to the library, there must be someone there who is staring into space, perplexed by a question in a subject they have to do but dislike only wishing for someone to come up to them and acknowledge how you feel.

Write down on a piece of paper how you feel and show them, you might be surprised by their warm reaction, plus you might be able to help them, if this happens then you will have someone to cuddle.

Don't feel as though you don't have any friends, remember there must be so many other people at school feeling exactly the same.

You can tell who is lonely, those kids who are always standing or sitting by themselves, eating their lunch or in the library every day, these are a good sign they have no one.

Start to make eye contact, those who keep responding want to be your friend.

When you get a cuddle, doesn't it take your breath away.

Geoff.