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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Anicca Feeling down
  • replies: 2

Today has been a bad day. I usually manage everything on my own but because a have a friend I thought I could rely on, I asked for help. I was let down this afternoon and now feel totally frustrated. My anxiety was high for other reasons, which my fr... View more

Today has been a bad day. I usually manage everything on my own but because a have a friend I thought I could rely on, I asked for help. I was let down this afternoon and now feel totally frustrated. My anxiety was high for other reasons, which my friend knew about. Of course my anxiety skyrocketed. I have Bipolar 11 and have lived with anxiety and depression all of my life. I'm now in my early sixties. Sometimes I think I'm better off shutting myself off from the world.

AntiHero Lonely and Ashamed
  • replies: 5

I've never posted online but am desperate for reassurance. I've already come across a similar scenario here, but feel the need to share my own experience. I am a 28 year old who has a long history of mental illness including chronic depression (anxie... View more

I've never posted online but am desperate for reassurance. I've already come across a similar scenario here, but feel the need to share my own experience. I am a 28 year old who has a long history of mental illness including chronic depression (anxiety, eating disorders, OCD, you name it). This has had a significant impact on my life, but I've always managed to keep it well hidden (out of shame and self-preservation - the stigma is terrible). I'm in therapy, on medication, and have even quit drinking since my drinking behaviour wasn't very healthy. Despite all of this, the thing that I'm most ashamed of is that I've never been in a serious relationship, not only because my mental illnesses have held me back, but also because a traditional family and upbringing prevented me from dating as a teen, so I never set solid relationship foundations for myself. I'm 28 with relationship experience limited to flings and crushed hopes. I'm trying to internet date but have had poor experiences: I've been lied to, ghosted, and faded out on. I'm starting to think maybe people sense something is up with me, and they run as soon as they do. Or, perhaps I get a little too hopeful too soon, which scares people, so people run off again. I recently came out of something (I couldn't really call it a relationship - two months or so of dating and long conversations?) and was heartbroken when I found out he wasn't fully interested. Is there something wrong with me? I've believed for so long I was unlovable, and now that I've tried to date, all these poor experiences seem to validate this thought - I'm not capable of being loved. I've been single all my life and my loneliness is really affecting me. It's making me desperate for SOMETHING. Is there something wrong with me that I've been single all this time? Is there something wrong with me that no one wants to be with me, or give me a chance?

JRFOXIE Feeling invalidated
  • replies: 4

I have a mood disorder that my parents do not recognise. Instead they believe I just have a bad behaviour. They were offered education at the last family meeting but refused it saying they knew enough. It wouldn't be an issue if I didn't have to live... View more

I have a mood disorder that my parents do not recognise. Instead they believe I just have a bad behaviour. They were offered education at the last family meeting but refused it saying they knew enough. It wouldn't be an issue if I didn't have to live with them. They are critical of everything I do or say. They told me I can never end up in hospital again for anything physical or mental health because they don't want to have to pick me up. Obviously it is a promise I cannot possibly make. It is wearing me down and I was only discharged from hospital for depression in December.

Assaad Severe depression
  • replies: 7

Hey everyone im only 24 and I started running my own building company recently. I’ve always been poor always living pay check to pay check but I could always see the bright side of things but now I’m making upwards of $20000 a week and it’s got me so... View more

Hey everyone im only 24 and I started running my own building company recently. I’ve always been poor always living pay check to pay check but I could always see the bright side of things but now I’m making upwards of $20000 a week and it’s got me so depressed like big whoop I have money now what’s the big deal? I always thought I would be happy having money but i felt so much better when I had nothing I feel so useless at the moment and I have big plans for myself but I feel like I could be doing something else to benefit others has anyone experienced this or something like this at a young age ( I’m a big over thinker ) I also suffer from severe anxiety but I have that under Co trip maybe that’s playing with my thoughts? Any advice would be much appreciated

Stormgrl101 its taken my life away from me
  • replies: 2

Hi.. i have BPD/depression/anxiety. I was in hospital for a few weeks before christmas and I went through ECT treatment. Now I am at home, at my parents house with them looking after me, and tonight im just feeling lost. Looking on facebook I see peo... View more

Hi.. i have BPD/depression/anxiety. I was in hospital for a few weeks before christmas and I went through ECT treatment. Now I am at home, at my parents house with them looking after me, and tonight im just feeling lost. Looking on facebook I see people getting married, having babies, finishing uni degree, getting a new job etc and I feel sooo hopeless and empty. I am ANGRY that mental illness took my life away from me and I feel like everyone around me is growing up and getting on with their lives and I'm just this sad, scared little girl and I don't understand why I'm different. As part of the BPD i suffer dissociation episodes which tend to happen at every appointment I go to whether its gp, psychologist, support worker, or centrelink. These episodes vary in which sometimes I can snap out of it or other times its too severe and ambulance needs to be called. I wish I could function "normally" I am tired of living like this. I dont know why Im posting tonight, I guess I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for me.

Zallin Feeling like I'm going to break
  • replies: 2

A month ago I quit my job, after 2 years of a new manager who had dreams of everyone around him being slave labour after he took things way too far and was caught red handed bullying staff into 3 am starts for a 9-5 job, forcing them to work for 15 h... View more

A month ago I quit my job, after 2 years of a new manager who had dreams of everyone around him being slave labour after he took things way too far and was caught red handed bullying staff into 3 am starts for a 9-5 job, forcing them to work for 15 hour days without break and intentionally creating "emergencies" over the top of peoples day's off and personal arrangements. Sadly this hasn't been the first, second or even third job I've had to leave because bully culture and its left me unemployed working UberEats, feeling like there is no point to trying to get ahead anymore as its hopeless. Too make matters worse, today I went to do a trial in my former trade (baking) and couldn't complete the shift due to my lower back playing up out of nowhere - leaving me feeling useless. I'm now at home, with a hole of pain were my back is meant to be, with no idea how to proceed forward with my mind feeling like a cracked glass likely to shatter at a single bad tap. I don't know what I should do............

Kassidy Depression and parenting
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, first time poster here. So im 23 and was diagnosed with depression at 15 and I have a 3yo son which is suffering more than i am. Today is definately a new level of breaking point, i couldnt feel like a worse parent. Back when i was firs... View more

Hey everyone, first time poster here. So im 23 and was diagnosed with depression at 15 and I have a 3yo son which is suffering more than i am. Today is definately a new level of breaking point, i couldnt feel like a worse parent. Back when i was first diagnosed with depression looking back now id say its was all pretty normal these days for a teen, i was medicated etc and all was ok. When i was 18 I entered what turned out to be a mentally abusive relationship and fell pregnant with my son. His dad was in and out of the picture the whole time which put so much stress on me. When my son was born, i couldn't even look at him, this lasted a few hours and for the first few months i had no connection to him at all. As if i didnt feel bad enough about that right? Anyway, time went on and ive just established i dont have a maternal bone in my body which really bothers me. I just want to be the best mum i can be for him. My beautiful boy is now 3 and the easiest child ive come across to parent and look after. He deserves so much more than what hes getting. Ive been trying to find the right medication since i had him, to bring me back i guess. The one im on at the moment i don't feel is doing anything, just like the others. I have an amazing partner who helps me so much but i think that only makes me feel worse knowing i don't know where my son would be without that support. I have the kind of side effects where i would sleep all day if i could. The kind where you don't wake up to anything like alarms or when your childs in trying to wake you up in the morning. Yes, when my 3yo son is TRYING to wake me i don't even know. My partner went to work this morning and left the back door open for our dog. I woke up at 10am to find my child on the couch, the door open and the back gate unlocked (which he can open). So much could have gone wrong all because of me and my problems. I've never felt like such a horrible mother. I go to the gym when i can to try help, i try my best to maintain a healthy lifestyle, i take the medication im currently on, im doing everything i can to try stop being the way i am and its just not working. I feel like the doctor i use just doesn't understand but im yet to find one who truly does. I guess i just dont know what to do anymore and im petrified of not being concious when my son needs me and not hearing him if he screams at night. I want to be the best parent because hes the most perfect thing thats ever happened to me. Thanks for reading

Justagirl16 Depressed, lonely, worthless
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone,I find myself on these forums having searched the Internet for some kind of relief and comfort, as I have been feeling particularly bad depression lately, and definitely today.I'm a 26 yo female who has recently been diagnosed with C-PTSD... View more

Hi everyone,I find myself on these forums having searched the Internet for some kind of relief and comfort, as I have been feeling particularly bad depression lately, and definitely today.I'm a 26 yo female who has recently been diagnosed with C-PTSD resulting from intermittent physical abuse and prolonged emotional neglect throughout my childhood + teenage years. I have coped 'decently' until the last couple of months, however have not been doing very well recently.I feel so worthless, with no hope for my future in sight. I don't like myself, and I feel so lonely. I have many acquaintances, but no true friends. No one that I can confide in, spend time with outside of work, talk to. I have family, but none that I am close to and feel I can reach out to. The family I am closest to are those that neglected me in times of need as a child, and I could not speak to them about my depression, feelings of worthlessness, as they would tell me to "snap out of it". I am lucky that I have a wonderful and supportive partner, but I worry that my depression is taking its toll on him. I am not interested in sex, I cannot do anything with him, I am always crying in bed, and he is worried about me but cannot do anything. I am starting to think he would be much better off without me. I just wish I wasn't here. I have had job for the past couple of years, in which I engage with many different people very frequently. I resumed after the holiday season, and it was more difficult than ever to come back and hear everyone's stories of their wonderful holidays. I spent most of mine in bed, sick, feeling lonely, wishing I were someone else. I am a people pleaser and project a very friendly and confident disposition at work, and after 2 days, it had exhausted me. Now I have taken a sick day and have been lying in bed crying. I'm worried my boss will be angry as I have taken quite a few sick days over the last year, but being at work was far too difficult, with me on the verge of tears the whole time and unable to concentrate at all. It is exhausting keeping up a facade of happiness in an incredibly social job. I feel terrible. I wonder if things will get any better, but I don't think they will. I hate myself, I wish I were someone else. I guess, amongst all of this that I'm hoping someone might tell me that things will be ok, and that I won't feel like this forever. I don't have anyone except my partner to talk to that could possibly understand, or care.thank you beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Evet Hi everyone 😀
  • replies: 3

My first post ! Been in a dark place for a while now. Unfortunately didn’t seek help. Realise now that I need to do something if I want my quality of life to change. I’m relocating to a warmer state to rejuvenate and rebuild but with all the professi... View more

My first post ! Been in a dark place for a while now. Unfortunately didn’t seek help. Realise now that I need to do something if I want my quality of life to change. I’m relocating to a warmer state to rejuvenate and rebuild but with all the professional support so can get. Hard part is that I’m leaving my wife behind as I feel I need a completely new environment and just don’t have the love to give to anyone let alone myself. Now I’m covered in guilt as well as depression. I know in my mind I need to do this however scary the future may be. Just feel so sad for letting people down

Quietwulf Slowly coming apart
  • replies: 2

I'm 39, having worked full time since I was 20. I hold down a fairly well paid job in I.T and have done so for 10 years. I have no debt, rent a place on my own, pay my bills. I have a girl I've been seeing for the last 2 years. She says she's in love... View more

I'm 39, having worked full time since I was 20. I hold down a fairly well paid job in I.T and have done so for 10 years. I have no debt, rent a place on my own, pay my bills. I have a girl I've been seeing for the last 2 years. She says she's in love with me. From the outside, my life appears to be pretty set. Inside, I am slowly coming apart. Slowly dying a little more each day. Unable to deal growing sense of crushing failure and disconnection. I am bitterly disappointed that having worked so hard to build my life... I'm unhappy. Miserable. Empty. Nothing brings me any real joy. I never feel elation, or pride. I never feel the rush of passion when I make love to my girlfriend. I'm numb. I set goals, achieve them and feel nothing. I strive to make some positive change in my life, only to find that when I finally achieve them.. I feel nothing. Then I feel anger.. So much anger at being cheated. Where is my peace? Where is my satisfaction in a job well done? Where is the warmth of holding a lover? I've tried a variety of drugs, spent thousands on therapy. In the end, they usually just send me away. They're used to dealing with people who've had real problems. Child abuse, PTSD, divorce, bereavement. What am I doing wasting the time of a therapist. I have failed in every way that mattered to me. I am broken inside and I just don't know what to do anymore. I think about leaving my girlfriend daily. I think about calling my best friend and abusing him for abandoning me when I need him the most. I think about the disappointment of my family. I thought I'd have it figured out by now, but I'm lost. Why does it have to be this way? Why can't I just be happy.