By now, my friends, you may be aware that I came to BB following the
breakdown of my marriage of 24 years. At first, I believed it was this
breakdown and her departure that was the source of the my pain. At
first. Since coming to BB and opening up to...
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By now, my friends, you may be aware that I came to BB following the
breakdown of my marriage of 24 years. At first, I believed it was this
breakdown and her departure that was the source of the my pain. At
first. Since coming to BB and opening up to all you kind people. Reading
how others are struggling day-to-day also, many a lot longer than I; and
some a lot tougher too. I have come to realise that I am not alone. I
have learnt that I am not as useless that I once thought I was. That
there just might be a better tomorrow out there somewhere, someday.
Though some days I may still have my doubts, I know that I just need to
get past these bad days and the good days are just around the corner. I
try to see this akin to when I quit smoking way-back-when. These bad
days are just like the nicotine withdrawal symptoms; a craving for
garbage that will pass. Reading everyone's posts, the regulars, the
irregulars, the new people and the once-off, each time I learn more
about myself. Each post and each thread sinks in a little, and changes
me a little. The BB forums are the most moving and tearful experience of
my week. It is where I reconnect to a world that I have had disconnected
from all those years ago. I got so caught up in my own world: my wife
and that I had forgotten about everyone else. Now, after my wife has
departed and I have only my children and a need to maintain a normalcy
for them. I find that I have a lot of time to reflect on years gone by.
In this reflection, I fear that I have been living in one of those so
called one-side relationships that WK has spake of in his other recent
thread. Or maybe it was more likely to be where my wife and I were each
living in our own one-sided relationship, but neither of them were
connecting. It was so depressing being told by the doc that I am
depressed. And it was even more depressing when he told me that he wants
me to go on ADs for the next six to twelve months. I thought to myself,
"Just what I need, to be kicked further down when I was already feeling
down." No, I am not ready for this type of treatment; I'll work with the
psychologist first. Anyhow, I'm not starting the ADs just yet. As I have
had an epiphany. I am will be exploring with the psych of the next few
weeks if it was the presence of the marriage that caused the depression
and not the absence of the marriage. And, if that were true, would not
then, the absence of it empower me to lift myself up without the meds?
D'
How do I talk to my doctor?
