p.man

[p_man]

hello, im new here.....i have bipolar disorder and am currently in the midst of a very deep depression, i was on medications for 15 years with good results until about 5 months ago when they stopped working and my depression took hold in a big way...my medication was changed 3 times with horrible results, the last combination was so bad i wound up in hospital for two weeks....my current medication is not working at all, so i will need to change medications again.....im very worried about this because of the previous changes and the hospitalisation i endured as a result......this bout of depression has lasted for 8 months.....im so tired and worn down, it's relentless, i'm at a point where the simplest things are incredibly difficult....im tearful a lot of the time ...feeling hopeless and helpless, like things will not improve......feeling too low to socialise, becoming isolated.......ive weathered many ups and downs over the years but never had my medication fail until now.....im so afraid nothing is going to work and that i am stuck with the horrible reality im stuck in......i want so badly to be well, to get my life back.....it seems so far away and theres no clear way out.....i feel like ive forgotten how it feels to be well ive been depressed for so long....so so tired.......this illness is relentless...im holding on , just ,trying my hardest to stay afloat .......im really afraid of changing meds but hoping that there is a combination that will pull me out of my current depression......desperate days are these.....hoping with all i am that some relief is on the horizon

[Hopeislost]

I am new too. I haven't any answers. I think my medication may not be working but it could be because over the past week I have been getting up earlier than normal and taking meds earlier, so by night time I am a tearful, depleted self. I am so sorry you feel so low. I guess there are a lot of us in the same situation on here. I just submitted a mindspot analysis so I will see what they have to say in a day or so when they email me. The mindspot link is on here somewhere. Reading your comment made me think.......are you depressed over issues or events or do people get depressed for no specific reason? Just know, I think you are in the right place. Surely someone can help us.

[p_man]

thank you for your response.....i wish you well and hope you soon find a balance and your medication helps you reach a better place......depression is a powerful adversary regardless of how it finds us.......i hope the help you need finds you quickly and makes you well again......best wishes, hang in there......p.man

[Restart321]

Hi, I am also new. You are very strong and resilient and need to give yourself credit. Remember to take one day at a time, and things come in waves. Remember to remember to be in the moment of now. Don't be afraid of failure, it simply means you are trying. I too worry about medications. Getting myself out of bed and taking a walk and running..(trying to run) sometimes I feel like jelly and my legs cant run and I start to cry (yes I cry while walking), but I try. And that's all you need to remember is - you are trying, and trying is moving forward. Scary yes, but you have done this before, and already learned about medication. You said you feel isolated, but sometimes time out is a good thing to clear your mind, and sometimes too many opinions introduces too many options and concerns. You will find inner peace when you listen to yourself. Sometimes when I feel so bad, I go out into the night sky, look up and ask the universe to help me and let go of my worries. What makes you laugh...do that. Hope this helps.

[p_man]

hi thank you for your encouragement i really appreciate it, you are right about trying and how even small steps are victories that move us forward, the nasty trick is depression makes time freeze, kind of stand still while the world around us rolls onwards, so makes the distance between despair and wellness seem vast.....i really appreciate you sharing your thoughts and feelings with me.....i wish you well and shall endeavour to live in the moment until the fog clears..........good luck to you and thank you kindly

[Hopeislost]

Ty p.man and I hope you get some relief very, very soon.

[p_man]

thank you very much, i really appreciate your time and energy........best wishes on you

[meercat]

Hello p.man. Welcome im meercat. Iv been living with bipolar 43 years..im 64.

After a very low 3 weeks recently with a virus and bp my doctor said to really get in touch with myself, know what i am, who i am.

Since joining BB i have met many kind people in a similar situation as ours.

Im trying to get rid of the stuff that clogs my mind, things i dont need, self doubt, loneliness and try to give back to those here who have helped me get back on track.

Iv found confiding with my dad neighbour and my husband has helped. Until then my bp was a well kept secret and i felt alone.

At no time have i ever thought i would not get over the dark times but as you know its not easy. Once my meds were sorted i was on my way to enjoying life again.

Exercise is recommended, but as you know its hard walking when you cant even think. My little dog is always ready for a walk.

meercat xx

[meercat]

Hi. Hopeislost. Im meercat. No, i dont think hope is lost even with my MI. Iv not heard of the mindspot link. What is it?

You mentioned meds..after 43 years iv found i must take mine with food and always on time. I set two alarms 7am and 7pm. Also i need to have them monitored every 3 months. It seems to be working.

You ask do people get depressed because of situations or do we get that way for no specific reason. Il have to think about that.

meercat xx

[meercat]

Hello. Welcome. meercat here. How thoughful you are offering help to others when you are crying out loud.

Yes, walking can be good when you can get out of bed and move. I think once i've got outside and moving things seem better.

meercat xx