I need help.

[Krystallis]

I have been in a really bad headspace lately and I've finally come to the realization that I need help. I asked my husband to take the morning off work to watch our youngest daughter so I can go to the doctor. The thoughts I have been having I just hate myself even more for even thinking them. I have been feeling like a complete and utter failure in everything that I've been doing. I'm restless, exhausted and miserable. I know I need help and I just don't know what else to do. I've never been big on opening up to anyone so making my doctor see that I'm depressed is going to be very hard for me but I can't hide it anymore. 

[White_Rose]

Dear Krystallis

I am so sorry to read of your pain. I hope I can reach out to you a little. I gather you are going to the doctor's in the morning (03/11). I have a suggestion to help start the conversation. It's something I frequently say to people who are not used to discussing their personal difficulties.

Before you see your GP write down all the feelings and thoughts you have been having, much in the way you have written above. Alternatively, copy and print your post above. You can then read your message to your doctor or give it to the doctor to read. Once the GP has understood what you are talking about he/she will take it from there. I think it will be easier than you think for your doctor to see how you feel, after all this is their job to diagnose illness.

One other thing, can you remember how long you have felt this way? It will be useful to tell the GP this.

I am pleased that you have the courage to ask for help and that your husband is supporting you. This first step is the hardest but once done you can concentrate on getting well.

Please let us know how you get on.

Mary

[Arinexus]

Although your story is familiar it caught my eye because you said you feel like a failure. People with depression usually have things in common. Drugs, bad history or trauma, social and or sexual disorders etc. Long story short if u can find whats holding you down you can start to build yourself up. Small steps. Any victory is a big victory. Doing nothing accomplishes just that. These are all the things i tell myself. But most importantly is Its not too late. Bravo for getting help and keep at it. You have a family who im sure love and need you.

[Krystallis]

Just an update. I've been to my doctor and he had prescribed me some antidepressants and referred me to a psychologist. I actually had a good day yesterday. Just getting it out and admitting to someone other than my husband that I needed help made a big difference. My doctor assured me I did the right thing in seeking help. I know I have a wonderful husband and I love my girls more than anything but I still can't help but feel like I'm failing my kids especially. How do I explain this to a 7 year old?