I'm new to BB

[Destiny_Driver]

Thought I'd better do an intro post. I'm a 50ish female who has battled depression for most of my life. Over the years I've had numerous psychiatrists and psychologists - none helped much. Medication makes me feel like I'm living in a bubble OR doesn't appear to do anything. I just can't win!

Most people are unaware of my depression - I've become a master at masking my feelings. The only ones who know me well are my animals.

I've moved house from the city to a rural idyll to better accommodate my animals - I have horses and dogs. I've also just started seeing a new counsellor and she has given me some hope.....

I'm sorry if I'm rambling on.......... today is not one of my better days

[Zeal]

Hi Destiny Driver,

Welcome to the forum!

Thanks for introducing yourself - it's nice to meet you. You definitely haven't rambled 🙂
I'm a 23 year old female by the way, and I've had OCD for 10 years.

Like you, I've seen various professionals. I have had some success, though success is hard to gauge sometimes.

How are you liking rural life? I live in a city, and have very little experience of country life. It's great that you always have your animals for company. We have a Golden Retriever and a beautiful moggie black and white cat. I absolutely love cats, which has only been the case since my teen years (after we got our first/current cat).

Back to you now...with regards to medication, never stop taking it without your doctor's advice (you probably know this, but I'll say it in case). Even if medication doesn't seem to be working, it's important to only wean off the meds under the guidance of a doctor.

It would be great to hear back from you 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Destiny_Driver]

Hi Zeal! Thanks for replying! 🙂

I'm loving rural life, so are my animals! I've had some issues with a neighbour but they seem to have settled down now.

Probably the worst thing about being so very rural is distance for specialist medical services. I had a breast cancer scare earlier this year (it was benign) but I had to travel 299klm to see the specialist. Another 299klm home then a 4 day wait for the results - was a terrifying time. I did get some financial aid but nothing can pacify the sheer terror of the wait!

The definite up side to being rural is having my animals around me. I have had a love of dogs and horses for as long as I can remember and I can spend as much time as I like with them all now.

I'm in discussion with my GP about changing my medication again. I'm also discussing it with my new counsellor.

My day is getting brighter 🙂

[Zeal]

Hi Destiny Driver,

It's great to hear back from you 😄

I'm glad you're enjoying rural life with your animals, and have sorted out the issues with your neighbour. That cancer scare must have been quite frightening, and I'm so glad that the tests came back negative.

It's great you're consulting with both your GP and counsellor. Good on you!

I'm pleased to hear your day is getting brighter 😄

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Destiny_Driver]

Thanks Zeal,

I'm having another bad day - seems I'm having more bad days than good again. I saw my counsellor yesterday and told her, she said that maybe because we are actually unearthing things from long ago I'm reacting to that.

I've also had some anxiety attacks recently - just for something different 😕

I'm SO sick of this never ending rollercoaster that my life is right now. I'm beginning to think the light at the end of the tunnel is actually an oncoming train.

[Zeal]

Hi again Destiny,

I hope today has been a better day for you. Your counsellor's point is a good one. Discomfort and unease when starting to deal with mental health challenges is normal, and is sometimes necessary to achieve long-term positive gains.

I don't have anxiety attacks - though I have had severe OCD anxiety in the past, and got close to panic attacks. There is a document with online modules about dealing with panic that you might find helpful: http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=44

I hope you are doing alright today 🙂

Best wishes,

Zeal

[Destiny_Driver]

Thanks for the reply Zeal.

I'm away from home this weekend and physical distance is giving me a bit of perspective on some issues.

I am doing better, thanks 🙂