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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Durras Had Enough of Not Feeling Normal
  • replies: 23

Hi all,I want to say first of thank you to everyone for all support given to me, all your words of advice and support are so much appreciated and I know it isn't easy when your struggling in your own battles with life.Not feeling suicidal, but yes fe... View more

Hi all,I want to say first of thank you to everyone for all support given to me, all your words of advice and support are so much appreciated and I know it isn't easy when your struggling in your own battles with life.Not feeling suicidal, but yes feeling like I have had enough of being this way. Woke this morning feeling so gloomy, heavy chested, head still going like a runaway train with thoughts and can't stop it. I just want to stop it all and thinking this is how my life is suppose to be, this is it.I have put much positivity into posts for others to help but I guess like it can be so often, it is easier to give advice and support then taking it for yourself and harder to practice what your preach.Don't really know what else to say but just had enough of being this way and can't see my way out of it. Have had goals, woke the other morning feeling positive but now it has gone and think I was only dreaming or wishfully thinking but na it won't happen.Feeling guilty for not being a better person, wife, mother and feel have nothing to offer anymore and can't see it in the future also.Am going to doctors today hope he may help, but that's just it also, hate relying on meds to make me feel normal, to me it's not normal. (sorry so much negativity going on in me right now, hope that don't hurt anyone as I know meds are a positive helper but right now feeling negative about them and having to rely and depend on them.Well had enough of living this way.Durras beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Scotchfinger Is anger a problem for you?
  • replies: 26

Who me? No way. Just because I'm old and grumpy and oversensitive and get annoyed by 90% of the population 90% of the time, doesn't classify me as angry, does it? (smiley, smiley) My problem, as I'm sure it was for a lot of you, is that I didn't deal... View more

Who me? No way. Just because I'm old and grumpy and oversensitive and get annoyed by 90% of the population 90% of the time, doesn't classify me as angry, does it? (smiley, smiley) My problem, as I'm sure it was for a lot of you, is that I didn't deal with my own anger when I was young. "Anger" was seen as an emotion that could only be expressed by parents or older siblings, those in authority. Boundaries? We never heard of that word in the sixtees and seventies. Ok maybe for cricket, I admit. It didn't seem appropriate or cool for me to express annoyance, so I never did. So now I'm making up for lost time. just get angry for fun now. For nothing so I can stay in practice, in form. I heard that anger and depression are like twin brothers though. I need to work on some of my anger, mostly caused by rumination. The past seems to really influence my current happiness. I wish I could just focus on the present .

65 My mum said to me.....................
  • replies: 3

My beautiful mum died in 2008. A couple of years before that I told her I had depression and had been in a psych ward, she listened and tried to understand me, then said something to the affect..... but you're not .. ONE OF THEM ... are you ?? (shock... View more

My beautiful mum died in 2008. A couple of years before that I told her I had depression and had been in a psych ward, she listened and tried to understand me, then said something to the affect..... but you're not .. ONE OF THEM ... are you ?? (shock horror) I stretched out my arms and said.... yes mum, I AM, "one of them". Poor darling I don't think she knew what to do or say. But she and dad became very supportive. However I only ever let them visit me in a psych ward once, and that was after a very bad situation, when I had to stay in bed in the hospital for over a week. But when they visited it was just like a normal hospital visit .... sort of, well that's what it would have seemed to them anyway. Just off that note, I'd like to say that I was originally diagnosed (25 or so years ago) with having "severe depression" then about 18 mths ago I was told I had bipolar....then...last year I hear there is... bipolar one, and bipolar two....which I didn't know about before. I learn something every day.....

Aussie_Fella Bipolar-What can I do?
  • replies: 4

Hi, everything seemed to be going ok in my life until the last couple of months. I have lived a coped with anxiety for the last 7 years. Life events seem to be hard to get through. Our first child was born in July this year and even though I was anxi... View more

Hi, everything seemed to be going ok in my life until the last couple of months. I have lived a coped with anxiety for the last 7 years. Life events seem to be hard to get through. Our first child was born in July this year and even though I was anxious I found a way to get through it. Since then things have taken a nose dive. His arrival caused the usual tension in families and I fell into an argument with the in laws which I have never argued with. Two weeks later my family is turn apart when we all find out that our step father had forced himself onto our disabled sister and made her pregnant. Next day my work load doubles as I decided to take on an extra project. I coped with it all and I couldn't work out why I wasn't feeling anxious. Then it all fell apart when we decided to move house. Insomnia was the start of me crashing. Nights of no sleep drove my mind to suicidal thoughts and finally thoughts of harming my wife and son. It was then I cried out for help and ended up staying 3 weeks in a psychiatric ward. They diagnosed me with a type 2 bipolar disorder which made sense to me. I now take a antidepressant a mood stabilizer . It has been two weeks since leaving the comfort of hospital. Nothing makes sense to me a simple everyday tasks are a nightmare. My wife keeps reassuring me that things will get better. Two days ago the closest family member that I held to my heart (my grandmother) past away. I so confused I don't know if I am grieving or ignoring the fact of loosing her. I feel a peace one minute then anger and sadness the next. I don't want to get out of bed yet I do. I'm constantly stuck in making a decision and not making one. I want to have a goal to head towards but I constantly add a negative thought to it. I'm lost in darkness and fear yet I seem to enjoy the attention it brings to my negativity. Banging my head against a brick wall won't help as nothing seems to fix this up and down roller coaster ride. Has anyone lived through a similar experience or suffers with bipolar and depression and has some idea of what the way out looks like? Any help is good help!

Hamlet_24 Constant struggle
  • replies: 1

In the new year I had five days of non depression, not happy or euphoric but in a stable state of mind. That's the longest I've gone without sinking in eight years, but I've slipped back into my usual state of mind in the last few days. How do you de... View more

In the new year I had five days of non depression, not happy or euphoric but in a stable state of mind. That's the longest I've gone without sinking in eight years, but I've slipped back into my usual state of mind in the last few days. How do you deal with the disapointment when you relapse? I'm trying to get my life back together but I can't seem to trust myself to achieve my goals

Elizabeth CP Feeling useless and unmotivated continued
  • replies: 2

I now feel useless as my husband hasn't been sick since I stopped work except very minor things. I haven't been able to do much because my ankle is still too sore. I end up in lots of pain if I walk much. I feel like I will never get decent work agai... View more

I now feel useless as my husband hasn't been sick since I stopped work except very minor things. I haven't been able to do much because my ankle is still too sore. I end up in lots of pain if I walk much. I feel like I will never get decent work again and if I did it would be a disaster as my husband may get sick again. I feel like I can no longer do things I enjoy. Even when my ankle heals bushwalking is no longer fun because my husband is blind so I have to watch him and guide him on any interesting walks where the ground is rocky and uneven. I used to enjoy ballroom dancing but cant dance properly any more I wanted my husband to have lessons so he could dance better but now there is no point. We used to swim but I don't like swimming in the sun as I am scared of getting burnt and I have to watch my husband all the time as he can't see where he is in the water. We used to enjoy camping and driving holidays exploring places and then going for walks. Now I get tired of doing everything myself'the packing setting up camp, packing up camp, driving, navigating, planning where to go so it takes so much effort I can't be bothered but then feel guilty as my husband wants to do it. I feel like I shouldn't complain because other people are much worse off eg a friend's husband had a stroke and her daughter has down's syndrome and her son is autistic so I should be grateful and cope better than I am. I have good children who are all adults but I don't want to be a burden on them. I have lists of things which need doing but haven't done them. I should be doing things instead of complaining.I feel better when I have done something useful which I am no longer doing. I also feel fat and ugly.

Pantheress Shelley anne
  • replies: 2

Crying because others are hurting. When I read your post, I recalled many years ago when I completed uni and commenced employment in welfare. Several of my colleges were chatting and one beautiful soul explained what lead her to this employment. Expl... View more

Crying because others are hurting. When I read your post, I recalled many years ago when I completed uni and commenced employment in welfare. Several of my colleges were chatting and one beautiful soul explained what lead her to this employment. Explaining how her daughter had been brutally murdered by her partner. I folded. Being a young mum I couldn't think of a deeper pain. This was the making or breaking point in my career. I was of the firm belief I could never be competent in employment with the burden of another's anguish. Then this is what she shared with me. Which I have always believed in and lent upon. This helped me through when I could not speak. Often in life we are confronted with the reality that we can't fix, cure, prove or win. However despite this we can still care, share and 'be there' for each other. Interestingly it is the caring, sharing and understanding that provide the friendships And fulfillment that give life quality. Sometimes when we can't fix, cure prove or win we feel like withdrawing from a Situation or a relationship because we feel helpless or vulnerable. I have found That if you just 'hang in there' and take the challenge of 'being there' and 'riding the wave together' the results are amazing, even if it is 'a rough ride'. If we know that someone wants to understand and care and that we are not alone, we can relax and free ourselves from fear and frustration. Once a good friend came to me crying over the death of her mother, in my desire To fix her, I said "Don't cry" to which she responded "Wendell, I have to". I was Grateful for her honesty, that let me cry as well. Now I get relief from being able to share and care... A closeness and understanding that is more precious than a magical solution. The resource of knowing I can be honest, even if it is tears or silence that express it, Produces a strength of friendship that is greater than the fear that I must be strong or Have all the answers when reality tells me that is not being honest anyway. Anyway being friends is the best part of life.

cbear55 How do I tell my partner?
  • replies: 4

I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 18. So I've had 7 years to come to terms with it. If anything it was a relief because it explained why I felt the way I did. I'm on medication and it's under a decent amount of control. Doesn't mean I d... View more

I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 18. So I've had 7 years to come to terms with it. If anything it was a relief because it explained why I felt the way I did. I'm on medication and it's under a decent amount of control. Doesn't mean I don't have low days. But it is much easier to manage. I have now been with my partner for 7 months. He is a great guy, very kind, caring and loving. I think it's time I tell him that I have depression. Not so he can help me or change something. Just so he knows. It can also describe why I have sexual arousal issues to him so he knows it's not that I don't find him attractive. I'm not really worried about how he will react because if he doesn't accept it he's not the one for me. But I don't know how to tell him. Any tips? Thanks

Justme28 Feeling empty and heavy
  • replies: 11

Hi, I'm new here so hello. I guess I'll just get into what I'm feeling. For a while now I've just been getting through day by day. I feel like I have a massive hole missing from me and that emptiness and loneliness that comes with it is hard. I have ... View more

Hi, I'm new here so hello. I guess I'll just get into what I'm feeling. For a while now I've just been getting through day by day. I feel like I have a massive hole missing from me and that emptiness and loneliness that comes with it is hard. I have a lot of friends around me so I'm not technically alone and when I'm with people I'm a social butterfly. How is it I can be separate people? I also over think things all the time and make the smallest things huge but the big things I don't tend to worry about. And I worry about what people think of me all the time. Recently I have got worse because I split with my boyfriend, the relationship was pretty toxic so I know that has lead me to feel even worse. I don't know how to switch off my brain! And I'm originally from the UK so I don't have family here. I'm going to see a doctor this week but I don't know if I want to take antidepressants or not and therapy I have tried before didn't work. I'm just very lost. Any comments would be helpful.

Tearsandsmiles Not sure where to start
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm new here and I wanted to reply to thread instead of posting a new one, but I didn't want to spill my problems on someone else's post, because I didn't think that would help them... Actually, that's my life in a sentence, I never want to be a ... View more

Hi, I'm new here and I wanted to reply to thread instead of posting a new one, but I didn't want to spill my problems on someone else's post, because I didn't think that would help them... Actually, that's my life in a sentence, I never want to be a burden on anyone or put myself in people's lives (does that make sense ?). I have been sad for a long time now, I'd say over a year, probably close to 2 years now. I don't know why I started feeling like that. I've always been shy and I can't say that I have had a close friend for a long time. I'm not the type that has had a best friend since school. I seem to always get left behind, people move on and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm 'too hard' to be friends with.... I honestly don't think that though because I'm sure everyone who knows me would say that I'm lovely, funny, loyal etc. When I say I haven't been happy for a long time, I honestly mean that. I sometimes just want to sit and cry, but I have kids and a husband, and I just think to myself that I need to wait until I'm alone to have my cry. I know I need to go to the doctors but I don't even have a trusted doctor, and how do you start that conversation ?? I told my husband the other day that I couldn't remember the last time I felt happy, and I cried to him, but he has obviously dismissed it. I have tried dropping hints to my mum but my dad has suffered depression for years (although he's fine on medication), and I don't want to burden her. And to be honest I think she would just think 'oh no, not another one !' I'm happy when I'm at work, and I have friends there but they are work friends, not friends I socialise with outside of work. It's when I'm at home that I feel the most lonely. My kids are great and my husband is too. We've had a lot of stress with my husband's work situation this year, many ups and mainly downs, hopefully he's on the right track now and we can get settled with that part of life, but at the moment it's adding to my stress, and financial worries. I'm always stressed and worried and sad. Any advice - where do I turn ?