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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Chris D My Story
  • replies: 4

Hi, Depression, I first felt depressed in my late primary school years being picked on and called names certainly didn't help, As the months and years went on my depression became worse through high school where more bullying was happening on a daily... View more

Hi, Depression, I first felt depressed in my late primary school years being picked on and called names certainly didn't help, As the months and years went on my depression became worse through high school where more bullying was happening on a daily basis. I thought I had good friends but I found that when I left high school I realised they weren't friends at all, I was in such a deep dark hole. I became very isolated when I left school no social life or friends when all the while I knew and felt I was becoming more depressed, this was compounded by not telling anyone about my depression and about the bullying as I had lost all faith in teachers looking out for students like myself they didn't stop the bullying in fact it got worse if the students knew I told on them. I did so many courses in the immediate years leaving school in the hope of getting a job, nothing came up even though I completed so many courses this just crushed me inside I so desperate to get a job. It was in 2005 when a medical condition I have had to be operated on as I was legally blind at the time of surgery, everything seemed so dark and so hard with my depression getting worse with each month, the unemployment at the time becoming a real issue and recovering from a transplant to save my sight, I was in a hole. My first real opportunity came in 2007 where I started work at a local fast food franchise, initially it was such a good feeling to be able to work and to feel like I was contributing in some way. While at McDonalds the environment changed and I felt my depression was coming back it did in a big way, in 2012 I left McDonalds I had to leave. I left at the start of 2012 during this time I enrolled in an automotive course while looking for work. In 2013 little did I know this was the year where my depression would come to ahead, it did in August having spent almost 2 years unemployed. It was at this point that I was able to speak to someone and finally tell how I was feeling, I never told anyone I had depression for 14-15 I kept this dark secret to myself. As I am describing how I am feeling I am waiting to go to hospital my first visit. I stay in hospital for a week or so it was horrible, I come back home only to find I cannot stop crying I needed to find support services and groups. I quickly found some support services and groups who help and assist people like myself. I became involved in there programs and groups without knowing how much they would help me, they helped me a great deal thinking about it now. In 2014 I was still not a 100% my depression was still evident and I still had a drive to work but I needed to help myself first so I could work. In March I had my 2nd hospital admission this time at more suitable better environment hospital I knew each time before during and after a hospital visit I was making progress, later in the year I had my 3rd and final hospital visit which helped me just that bit more. Not long after being out from hospital I grabbed an opportunity without knowing how much it would help me it got me back into work and it was that decision that one last bit of hope that has turned out to be one of my best decisions ever. I grabbed at the chance to get back into the workforce and I haven't looked back since. This year I have made so much progress that I would never had though about making. I hope to anyone who reads this gets inspired to keep on going because just when you feel like giving up it can take just that one chance one opportunity to turn your life around and make some serious progress. Always cling onto hope never let it go and always seek help and support when you feel you need too. Take care all Chris

PeachieQ I'm just blah, and I don't know why
  • replies: 3

Hi, I just joined this group. I'm not really a 'forum user' but might become oneI'm just feeling like shit, I think it may be depression. I was put on treatment for depression/stress/anxiety a couple of years ago. I think it helped at the time but th... View more

Hi, I just joined this group. I'm not really a 'forum user' but might become oneI'm just feeling like shit, I think it may be depression. I was put on treatment for depression/stress/anxiety a couple of years ago. I think it helped at the time but then I had that 'zombie, can't be bothered doing anything, never feel happy or sad or anything' type of life, so I did the cold turkey . That sucked bad but withina few weeks I felt better. Now I'm just blah, and I don't know why. I've got a gorgeous son, an amazing fiance that loves me, a successful little business. Why aren't I happy?

Chicken_Wings I Don't Know What I'm Doing
  • replies: 32

I've been dealing with depression & anxiety since 2000. This isn't new to me.But every time I get into a real bout, I find myself floundering. Right now, I wake up every morning at about 5am with a huge weight on my chest. I know what it is and I kno... View more

I've been dealing with depression & anxiety since 2000. This isn't new to me.But every time I get into a real bout, I find myself floundering. Right now, I wake up every morning at about 5am with a huge weight on my chest. I know what it is and I know why it's there and it's not welcome. I try to do breathing exercises & relax so I can get that extra 2 hours before my alarm goes off. But most of the time my efforts are fruitless and I just toss and turn feeling horrible. I can only seem eat at dinner time which to me is a marker of my mood.I've been going to work, but I haven't been able to bring myself to put on any makeup or even brush my hair. I just throw on some clothes and put my hair in a bun.I get there and I just feel miserable. I try to engage with people, but even whilst I'm talking to them I have these thoughts & feelings nagging away at me. I can barely do my work. I'm slower and less creative, which is bad because my job requires me to be creative.This all stems from fear. I'm pretty much afraid of everything. I'm afraid of crowds, I'm afraid of new places. For a while I was afraid of food, I'm afraid I will fall apart when my dog dies. I'm afraid of getting sick, I'm afraid of other people getting sick, I'm afraid of losing people and not being in control and most of all I'm afraid of death. My mother lives in the UK has cancer and I know she will not recover from it. I don't know how long she has, but I am absolutely petrified of losing her & I think that is the catalyst for this current recurrence of my anxiety & depression. I'm terrified of flying, but I know if I want to see her, I have to. But feeling the way I do is making it even harder. She has been my rock my entire life & the thought of a world without her in it leaves me feeling absolutely hopeless.Today is the first day I just haven't been able to go to work. I woke up this morning and just couldn't face it. I actually thought I had a pretty good day yesterday & even felt hungry, until I got home & burst into tears for no real reason & started talking about death.My partner is so understanding. He has depression also so knows this will pass, & so do I, I know this isn't forever. But right now, as I sit here, I have those same thoughts I have every time this happens "what if it doesn't go away this time?".I don't know if I'm meant to ride this out, push it until it goes away, acknowledge it and work through it. I feel like I've done all these things before & it keep coming back.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

lunadappio My dark passenger
  • replies: 3

I think of my depression as a dark passenger that arrives whenever he feels like it, for a journey. It can be a long trip or occasionally a short one. I have been able to avoid him for a while but there he is again, taking up a space in the car for a... View more

I think of my depression as a dark passenger that arrives whenever he feels like it, for a journey. It can be a long trip or occasionally a short one. I have been able to avoid him for a while but there he is again, taking up a space in the car for a ride. I have been managing my depression and anxiety without medication or counselling for a few years now. I try to look after myself but at the moment it is getting harder. I am finding it hard to see the positive in anything, including myself. The panic is rising and it gets harder to keep it under control. I just felt like i needed to find a place to speak, without judgement. It can be hard in our lives to feel that we can speak about our feelings without people making light of our circumstances. I have been reading posts on here all day and I think this place is amazing. I would love to hear from others who have a passenger with them or understand what I mean.

OU812 A long walk....
  • replies: 3

First time poster, psychologist gave me some web pages to check out after sitting some sessions , part of my mental plan ,where to begin.... it has been an exhausting few years, I seem to be in a downspiral at the moment , suffering from depression, ... View more

First time poster, psychologist gave me some web pages to check out after sitting some sessions , part of my mental plan ,where to begin.... it has been an exhausting few years, I seem to be in a downspiral at the moment , suffering from depression, anxiety and sleep issues. i currently have this sleep issue, a dream which has occurred a few times exactly the same way where I am thinking that I could die if I swallowed something in a way and in my dream I swallow it and I wake up gasping for air , this scares the crap out of my wife. i think these issues I have are taking a toll on my wife,I'm worried all the time that this might be too much for her. I try to explain things to her the best I can, I just always seem to be in a flat mood all the time, sometimes some glimpses of happiness, but doesn't seem to last long . I have 2 children on the autism spectrum, my son had a head operation when he was very young due to his head fusing too quickly when he was born, they are great kids - I do try to give them whatever I have left at the day. i am struggling at the moment to see them, I have been doing shift work for the last 6 years and 14 days a month I don't see them or am in a limited state of mind. i do the shift work because it's comfortable for me, I don't see a lot of people during the time only for overlapping hours from normal shift workers for a coupe of hours later in the morning or first thing in the Arvo. from what I do I don't seem to be open with people , only when they are in my direct path , I wouldn't call myself a very sociable person, I try, I just don't think people see that in me and I suppose I have missed out on a lot of opportunities. i suppose it really comes down to me being confident which I have never had due to a bad relationship with my father, it's weird now.. Only now at the end is my father tolerable , we get along but I can still see the bad things I seen as a child, now I just feel sorry for him and disappointed . i think mostly about regrets these days. i remember when I was around 15 I had a girl come up to me, this is a girl I had the biggest crush on , she asked me out and I asked " are you serious?" She ran off and cried, I assume I said this the wrong way as I would have said yes if I thought it wasn't a prank or something. I tried to explain but her friends wouldn't let me near her. lots of little things in my head, sorry if this is all over the place and a long read . 28 characters left...4321

Setsail001 Maintaining relationships when suffering with depression
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone..I'm new and not sure if a similar thread already exists but if it does, I couldn't find it!I'm in my mid twenties and I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 15. As you all probably know what it feels like - the ups and th... View more

Hi everyone..I'm new and not sure if a similar thread already exists but if it does, I couldn't find it!I'm in my mid twenties and I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I was 15. As you all probably know what it feels like - the ups and the terrible downs and then the ups again, it's gone on and on and I try my best to remain positive although some days, the best I can do is just get out of bed. For the last 5 months, I've been in a relationship with a lovely guy. This is my first serious relationship in about 8 years. But on my bad days when I can't stop crying I want to push him away and I want to break it off with him so he doesn't have to deal with me and my depression. have any of you struggled with this? Any tips? Thanks

anamcara2 Poor choices my whole life
  • replies: 2

Hi there, this is my first post. I have been on medication for two years and twice I have been to my GP to get advice on free councilling but I don't follow it up because I feel so foolish. I think I have been depressed most of my adult life but neve... View more

Hi there, this is my first post. I have been on medication for two years and twice I have been to my GP to get advice on free councilling but I don't follow it up because I feel so foolish. I think I have been depressed most of my adult life but never recognised it as such. I used to believe I was a really nice kind person and couldn't understand the terrible things that happened to me. Now I know I am not a nice person at all and I have chosen my own fate time and time again. I'm trying to be a better person but I'm also realising now I'm not too smart either. Every decision I make to improve my life seems to be a poor one. I understand I can't outrun the depression so my questions are : how do I stop comparing myself to others. Others who can make it through the hard times in marriage. Others who are good parents. Others who are talented and are smart enough to work hard at that talent and achieve a level of success they are happy with whether at work, home hobbies, sport etc. others who finish what they start. Others who can accept who they are and be happy. Others who have a passion. Even others who make similar mistakes as I but don't seem to suffer the consequences. I know comparison is a fools thinking and I know I have not walked in others shoes. I just wish I had it in me to lead a successful life. I just don't know how to accept who I have been put on this earth to be and I definitely don't know how to accept how me thinking like this has affected my children. I have never really had a mind of my own and when I finally took charge I completely and utterly made a mess of that too. In the past I did fall into the trap of expecting things and others to make me happy. Now I know only I can do that ... except I can't. I've failed at that too.

Ellie05 It all fell apart so quickly
  • replies: 4

Hello, You might have seen me post here before. I fid it really helps to air my thoughts and feelings in a safe place. It all started in early September. Depression had been sneaking up on me for some time, but I chose to ignore it. Then I lost my jo... View more

Hello, You might have seen me post here before. I fid it really helps to air my thoughts and feelings in a safe place. It all started in early September. Depression had been sneaking up on me for some time, but I chose to ignore it. Then I lost my job and it absolutely sent me over the edge. My confidence was completely shattered and I had to deal with everything I'd been blocking out. You see, I've never been in a relationship before. I discovered at 13 that I was terrified of the prospect (I still don't know why) and haven't even had so much as a crush on someone since then. In order to keep myself happy I simply immersed myself in my job and spent lots of time with friends. Now that I'm almost 29, all of my friends are either with someone or have moved overseas. I'm incredibly lonely and fear I will be this way for the rest of my life. I've started a new job but I don't get much satisfaction from it. Our family dog passed away recently and the apartment I rent was sold. My housemate told me she no longer wanted to live with me anymore because of the anxiety and depression. To top it off, my grandmother is not doing so great. I haven't considered the option of losing her because this is too much for my brain to bear right now. I don't sleep or eat much. I spent last weekend at my parents house, shaking and crying the whole time. I spoke to my mum last night and she sounded so strained and worried. I feel terrible for doing this to her. I've been taking medication and seeing a psychologist but it doesn't seem to be helping. Thanks for listening.

Droid Feeling More Than Sad
  • replies: 3

I am new on here and I am not sure where to start really. My feelings of anxiety and hopelessness are very overwhelming, I know that much. I have been drinking heavily quite lately, usually on my days off. I drink to block out past events in my life ... View more

I am new on here and I am not sure where to start really. My feelings of anxiety and hopelessness are very overwhelming, I know that much. I have been drinking heavily quite lately, usually on my days off. I drink to block out past events in my life and I am causing a lot of hurt to my beautiful wife. When I am alone, I cry an awful lot and hate myself for being like this. Please help!

Bluebird1 'Coping' not living
  • replies: 6

Hi, my first post here... I have been living with depression for as long as I remember, but only realised and had treatment since I was about 30. But the treatment feels like a smoke screen, not even sure if it works as I still have desperately low t... View more

Hi, my first post here... I have been living with depression for as long as I remember, but only realised and had treatment since I was about 30. But the treatment feels like a smoke screen, not even sure if it works as I still have desperately low times. I have learnt to cope with life, but not live my life. I sweep thoughts under the carpet. Try not to look back or forward but just cope day by day...yes I get out of bed and go to work, paint that smile on my face and do everything I can to make others happy. But as I sit here writing this the tears just won't stop. I feel so alone. I moved to Australia 2yrs ago, trying for yet another 'FRESH START' but I now realise there is no such thing as I can't run away from myself. I am 46 in a few weeks and have worked hard all my life but have achieved nothing. I know I'm having a low and the light will come back, but that doesn't help now....