Depression and losing friends

[anita24]

Hi everyone, i have been struggling with severe depression for 10 years now it is a struggle to just keep on going, Ive noticed because of this i don't have many friends, i have 1 left now but even then she's quite a selfish person and needy and doesn't understand and i notice its hard for me to make friends as i'm not the happy person that people want to hang around, has anyone else had this happen to them? I feel quite alone because i've watched my close family die around me for the last few years so now i have barely anyone, what keeps me going is my mum, my dog and my bf ( but sometimes he doesn't understand but he does try to help) Has anyone been through sort of the same and how do you overcome this? cheers

[white knight]

Hi anita,

Try googling this-

"topic: they just don't understand, why?- beyondblue"

"topic: rejection, its hard to swallow- beyondblue"

"topic: depression and toxic people- beyondblue"

The last one there might help you. It is better to only have one good friend than try to befriend those not suited to you and the challenges you face with your mental health.

Hope that helps.  Glad to see you here. Its a great place to read up on issues.

Tony WK

[anita24]

Thankyou very much, i will have a look at those posts.

[geoff]

dear Anita, OK you know that you have depression, and your g/friend doesn't seem to be much of a friend, only because she's selfish and only looking after herself, so I'm not sure whether she will be much help, and that's what you want.
Have you tried to talk to your b/friend, but sometimes this is not easy, because it goes in one ear and out the other.
What I would do is to get 'the printed material' from BB by clicking on 'Get Support' and scroll down to 'information resources', all of this is free, but it might help your b/friend understand what depression means.
Having this illness for 10 years is a long time, struggling, trying to understand why you should get it, and everything that it has caused you to not do is just so confusing.
I don't know whether you are seeing a doctor in regards to this, and if not then it's time to make an appointment and ask him/her about the 'mental health plan', which entitles you to 10 free visits per year to see a psychologist. Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi Anita

Has your boyfriend indicated that he wants or will leave you?   I know that perhaps if things like this continue for some time, then it could become a problem for your boyfriend, but if there’s things that can be put into place, then perhaps we can help nip this in the bud before it gets worse.

As Geoff alluded to, the K-10 Test is something that a doctor can do with you, and from that they will be better informed as to a possible diagnosis for you … plus seeking out a professional will be able to help you with other helpful mechanisms for dealing with how you’re feeling.

Perhaps they may also put you on some medication as well, which will be another helpful thing to implement.

Also just wondering about your boyfriend as well … as you say, you’re not there to help him when he needs it.  Is this indicating that perhaps he’s possibly suffering from some kind of illness as well?

Would love to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[anita24]

Hi everyone thankyou for the support, He has indiciated that he is not sure of the future with me, which makes me feel even more insecure, he hasnt got a illness but he wants us to be a team and lives alone and wants me to help clean his house etc together and do fun things together ( i dont even clean my room) and i just cant. I have been on 3 different medications and many pyschologists etc and i cant even stick to that, im exhausted.

My depression basically started with my first with my pyschopath ex-boyfriend who ruined my life for me and my families.

i did the k-10 test i got 49.

[White_Rose]

Dear Anita

I am so sad to read your story and sorry that you have lost family members. Did you have a large family? I understand you only have your mom and dog left, and this is hard to bear. I imagine your mom is also upset at losing these family members. Do you think it would help you and your mom to talk about these people sometimes? I know it can feel sad to do this but it is good to remember the happy times. It can help with the sadness.

There are many more medications than three for depression. What happened when you took these meds? Did you have bad side effects or did they not work? Who prescribed them for you? If it was your GP I think you should go back and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist as this person can both prescribe medication and help you to get well.

Although this is a very unhappy time for you, please believe that others have gone through this before you. I am one of those people. My situation is not exactly the same but then everyone is different in some way. What is the same is the feeling of despair about being alone with no family and friends. Tony WK, Geoff and Neil have all said some really helpful things. I hope I have been able to add to the list.

Psychologists are very good at helping you manage your life. A psychiatrist will be able to look at the whole of your life and how you have coped with disappointments and stress in the past and help you to recognise the triggers that affect you now. There is no magic pill, (I wish), so you will need to do the work necessary for your healing and finding new friends and a new network of people. You will be able to do this if you start to talk with those people who can help you. So ask your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist.

It will be hard work and this is where you need your mom and BF to help. Do as Geoff has suggested and gets lots of information sent to you from BB. It's easy to read and if mom and BF read it, they find it useful to help you. One other place to find help is here on BB. Write in and do as much venting as you wish. Also phone the BB helpline if things get a bit difficult. The number is 1300 22 4636 and is available 24/7.

Mary