First time, looking for extra help please.

Tonah · ‎02-03-2016

Not sure where to start... Have been feeling down a lot for a long time now and my life has really gone downhill. Have only just been and talked to my gp and talked about things. Appointments have been made to talk about my issues mentally. Am looking for more help in the area of trying to get over the bad days or things or tricks that might make the bad days a bit easier.

My relationship is suffering big time and my partner is over having me be so down. Trying to fix me and the relationship is not going the best. Feel like I'm getting sucked into a black hole. Only on the bad days though. It hits me really fast as well, is that normal???

Thank you.

Starwolf · ‎02-03-2016

Hi Tonah,

Sorry to read you feel that your life is going downhill and you have no idea how to stop it going in that direction. Such feelings are scary but there are things you can do.

You have already made 2 courageous decisions, talking to a GP and joining these forums. So well done.

It seems to me that you may be experiencing the effects of depression and/or anxiety. If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, you will find a checklist under "The facts" section. This will already give you a better idea of what is happening to you.

Both depression and anxiety are manageable with the right support. And you are right, a visit to your GP is the best starting point. Well done again for taking that difficult first step.

Your partner is obviously feeling as helpless as you do. Few people are aware of what depression really is so they have no idea about how it affects sufferers, even less how they can help ease the pain. Somewhere along the line, there will be an opportunity for him to learn more about what exactly you are going through and how he can support you through it all. To start with, there are relevant sections at the bottom of this page too. Often, info is better accepted if offered by a knowledgeable outsider like a therapist.

Your GP may come up with a referral to a specialist, so that a treatment plan can be tailored to your specific needs.

Meanwhile, these forums will help you vent out your feelings. They offer a safe haven, no judgment, only understanding and support whenever you need them. You are far from alone. So welcome on board and thank you for your contribution.

I hope you will keep posting to let us know how you go.

Kind thoughts and best wishes.

white knight · ‎02-03-2016

Hi Tonah, welcome.

Everyone is different in regards to what is normal. But I do have some articles I've written that might help. Just google them one at a time as they are printed below

Topic: You are sliding- what can you do?- beyondblue

Topic: Upset? and desperate- beyondblue

Topic: Happiness, what should be your goal?- beyondblue

Topic: who cares for the carer?- beyondblue

Topic: supermarket shelves- beyondblue

Topic: prevention is better than cure- beyondblue

There are many more in this forum. A goog pattern is to pick one or two a night and read and read and read.

Tony WK

White_Rose · ‎02-03-2016

Dear Tonah

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. It's great that you have posted here and really brave. Lots of people find it difficult to write in. This is a safe place to write about your feelings as everyone is anonymous.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. It sounds as though you are a little depressed and need some help to get well again. Talking to your GP is a great start. In the meantime, have a look around this site and read other threads that people have written. You may find some help reading how others are coping.

If you scroll to the end of the page you will find links that take you to information about depression and anxiety. This very useful. You can download this information or ask for it to be posted to you. Your partner may be interested in reading this to help him understand how you feel and why.

It is helpful to try and describe what "feeling down" actually feels like. I expect your GP will be asking you to describe this. Also when this happens e.g. in the morning or when something particular happens, and how often and how long does it last.

Trying to fix yourself if you are depressed is a job in itself. The relationship will need to take a back seat for a while. If your partner understands what is happening to you, you may find the relationship heals itself as you get well again. In any event, he must support and help you during this time. It's no good him saying "Just get over it". It will not go away by itself.

Bad days come and go but when they come it is really horrible. And yes, there is no warning. Your doctor may recommend you take an antidepressant. I do urge you to take this if recommended as it will help you to recover. Your GP may also suggest you visit a psychologist. It's not the end of the world and neither does it mean you are crazy. Psychs are there to help you get back on track. But none of this may happen. Your GP may be able to help you himself.

Making bad days easier cannot be done with tricks. In general you need to keep to good diet and have some exercise every day. A 20 minute walk is fine. It helps to release endorphins which are beneficial to your mental health. And of course you get some fitness thrown in. Trying to force yourself to be happy will not work. It just makes everything feel worse. Let the experts teach you how to manage.

I feel I have written nothing but doom and gloom, but really it's not that bad. Talk to your GP and follow his advice. Hard work, but it will get you where you want to be.

Mary

Starwolf · ‎02-03-2016

Hi again Torah,

I would also suggest navigating these forums.

There are a lot of threads and posts offering practical tips to help get over the rough stretches along the road. We are all different. What works wonders for one will not necessarily help another. All we can do is keep trying suggestions for size, hold on to what helps and take a pass on what doesn't.

I wish you a peaceful evening and a restful night.

Mares73 · ‎03-03-2016

Dear Tonah

its great that you have managed to reach out on beyond blue. You will receive unconditional care, support & understanding.

youve had some great replies. All I wanted to add was whether you would consider antidepressants short term? They don't change your personality-they simply stop the extreme feelings you get when depressed. The other issue is seeing a Pyschologist for support. Your GP will have the paperwork called "a mental health plan" & you can then get 10 sessions with a psychologist.

I understand your concern about your relationship. But the depression isn't going to go away without support. How much have you explained to your partner? There is a heap of information sheets on this site for loved ones. It may help him understand better?

please let us know how your going?

Mares x