I'm lost and I don't know if want to stay here anymore

[Kno7568]

Hi,

Im a 34 year old male, no partner, no kids, no house, I pretty much have nothing and I like it that way.

Now I'm ex military, I've accomplished everything I have ever wanted, plenty of money almost retired but I don't know if I can keep going for another 40+ years it just seems far too long.

I hate travel, people and really everything... But I'm sure I'm missing something I can't find anything that I can enjoy and I've lost all enthusiasm for life.

Im sure it's a problem but I just want out and I'm done I'm pretty sure. I use to play a game with my old friends; I called it the bucket list... "Name something I haven't done?" And it would always end with me having done everything...(but farther kids) I have no desire to have kids, but I did raise a boy from the age of 1 till he was 7 and left to join the military so that's done.

I guess what do you do when you have done everything you have ever wanted?

[Sophie_M]

Hey Kno7568, 

We're so sorry to hear that you've lost all enthusiasm for life, that must be so difficult. We're glad you've shared how you're feeling with our community - please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space. It sounds like you are having quite a hard time at the moment, and that you may benefit from professional support. If you would like some help finding mental health support, we would recommend that you get in contact with the Beyond Blue Support Service. They are available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals. We would strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467), or call emergency services on 000 (triple zero). We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. 

[james1]

Hello Kno7568,

I am really sad to hear you have lost all enthusiasm for life and cannot find anything you enjoy. I imagine that must feel challenging to muster up any desire to seek out new activities.

I am not really sure how to answer your question about what to do when you have done everything you have ever wanted. It is not a problem I face, as I personally find there still a lot in the world that I've not succeeded at, tried, or even just generally been exposed to.

That said, when I suffered from depression, there were certainly days when nothing seemed of interest to me. Even things I'd once enjoyed, or dreams I once had, just didn't seem to matter. And as you mention, I also just didn't really want anything for myself - I was content with the little I had, and had no desire for more, or to do anything.

So I am not at all suggesting that you are suffering from depression, but I would be interested to hear whether this is something you think could be the case.

Nice to speak to you

James

[therising]

Hi Kno7568

I imagine, being in the military, you've got structure pretty much down to a fine art. Wonder if you've ever considered entering into a career where you provide structure for others. Personal trainer, life coach etc is about raising others when they're either not sure how to do it themselves or they simply lack structure/self discipline.

You mention you hate people, travel and just about everything. Wondering what you can't tolerate when it comes to these things. Can you not tolerate foolishness or laziness from people? Can you not tolerate sitting still on a plane for too long? Also wonder if there's something that's always challenged you but you thought 'No, too much effort' or 'I don't have the patience'. Would you be up for such a challenge, if it came down to it? Maybe you've always wondered about a field of interest but thought 'There's really no point looking into it, it would just be a waste of time'. An example might include researching how the human brain ticks (what makes people tick the way they do).

It's hard to know what excitement looks like in the next stage of life when we have no idea what we're looking for. We could say, 'There's nothing exciting left to do. Life is thoroughly boring and unfulfilling. I am completely numb and uninspired' when someone pops into our life and says 'What about this?' We can be left thinking 'Never in a million years would I have considered that'.

Not sure what that outside the square kind of excitement or fulfillment looks like for you. Any ideas?

🙂