I'm completely lost in life

[Chris D]

I don't know where to go or what to say or what to do anymore, i'm completely lost. I can't take it anymore, i have a family member who is going in for an operation next wk and so she will need looking after, so how am i meant to fill the requirements i have with centrelink and try and stay well enough to look for work and look after this family member, i've already got enough going on in my head.

I feel like bursting out into tears, i can't take it i'm lost at what to do next. Got no motivation, no drive anymore absolutely pathetic. All i want is a person to listen to me and to give me a hug and put their hand on my back to tell me it's going to be ok.

I feel so alone, so isolated. Even today at a group that i go to i felt all day i was ready to burst into tears. Just want to hit my life away because it's no life at all.I need company but i feel no one wants me or wants to hear from me, it's like they have no time for me feel like a piece of trash lying in the gutter just deteriorating away in the rain.

I just want to cry but the tears won't come, i can feel they are there but not in a position to be let out.

Can anyone provide company and a hug for me please, i really need it please.

Kind Regards

Chris

[Chris_B]

Hi Chris,

We received all your posts, and also an email from you over the weekend to alert us about the problems with posting. I just tried to send you an email but got a notification to say your mailbox was full and unable to accept messages, so hope you will see this message here as a personal apology: there were issues with the forum over the weekend and the problem was at our end, nothing personal towards yourself or any other users.  Again, we're sorry for the distress, frustration and confusion this caused and hope you will continue to be a valued member of the community here.

An explanation for what happened at the weekend as well as changes to our moderation timeframes going forward can be read here.

[geoff]

dear Chris, great to hear back from you as there are heaps of people on here that are with you all the way, and that must be a warm feeling.

Even though there are a lot of issues going on at the moment, one being your mum who requires an operation, and you say that they aren't affecting you personally, in actual fact it's a build up on top of your existing problems, although it may not seem to be the situation it is, because when we have depression we take on board anything that can happen, and now it's hitting you from all directions.

This is a problem with depression is that all the concerns we have just build up and up, and we can't seem to be able to get rid of them, so the weight on our shoulders is a real burden for us. Geoff.

[keithc]

Hi Chris,

The fact that you posted this and go to a group shows you do have some drive. It just doesn't feel like it. I understand the 'tears' phenomenon. I live with it all the time and it's rough. I don't have an answer for it, I'm trying to get hold of the darn thing myself. What I do know is that you have proven you have some drive even if you feel otherwise, that youre not alone, and that your post has helped me feel that i'm not alone. 

[Jo3]

Hey Chris,

Glad to see you came back on here and just letting us know how you are going.

Sorry to read that you are struggling with a few things at the moment.  I hope your mum is going to be okay.

Chris, we are all thinking of you, you are not alone.

Take care

Your friend

Jo

[Chris D]

Hi All,

Thankyou for your kinds words and support. I feel i should check myself into a facility but my mum said she needs me when comes home from hospital.

I can't do this anymore, i feel i have no support from anyone, even though i have all of you and other people that i see in town. It is a feeling that i can't control. I need someone to sit with me give me a cuddle, hug and to rub my back.

I'm so lost in life, i don't know what to do anymore. I need help but my mum needs me. I can barely look after myself at the moment, how am i meant to look after her when i can't even look after myself. I need looking after, please someone help me.

An absolutely lost cause, lost all hope forget it. I am in a bottomless pit.

Chris

[Chris D]

I feel empty lost and alone. Mum is home & she isn't to bad after her operation yesterday. I need a break away but my finances don't allow it bcause of my stupid area's unemployment rate which is double the nat average. I'm in hole and falling deeper with every passing day.
I don't know wat else to do but to check myself into a facility i really need time away, i just can't do this anymore.
Chris

[Neil_1]

Hi Chris

Firstly, that must be a huge relief to you that your mum is home and that she isn't too bad.  I'm hoping and guessing (because she's home) that the operation was a success.  That is such good news.  There'll be so many members here who will be so pleased to hear this news.

Not so good though my friend is how you're travelling.  I can imagine it to now;  that you've had to hold everything together leading up to your mum's hospital visit, the operation, etc;  and now that she's home, everything has just slowly lowered itself down on you and you feel an incredibly crushing sensation upon you.

I can so understand that you need time away and to just have some time for yourself.  Is your girlfriend close by ... are you able to see her at all?

My other big thing to ask is when was your last visit to either your GP or your psych Chris?  Cause I'm sensing right now that this should be your main priority.  You need to seek out professional help and now ... you cannot continue to battle this by yourself.

Are you able to do this Chris, please?

Kind regards

Neil

[Chris D]

Hi Neil,
Yes my mum's operation was a success. To answer ur question i c my gp on monday as it the earliest i could c him. I saw my local mental health team on wed, i am bringing forward my counselling appointment also. I enquired on wed about myself going into this facility & the director & myself both agreed that i would benefit from being admitted there.
Cheers
Chris

[Neil_1]

Hi Chris,

Are you about my friend?   If so, how did you go over the weekend?

How is your mum coping after the operation?

Wow, this is a post full of questions ... sorry about that.  Yay, a sentence without a question at the end of it !

Has there been further talk about admitting you into the facility that you mentioned?

Kind regards

Neil

[Chris D]

Hi Neil & All,
Neil mum is doing well aftet her operation. I am still thinking about the facility i may go into. Had a job interview on mon & got phone call today saying i wasn't successful. Another intetview another disappointment. Can't even get a job with or withour professional help, i am useless and hopeless.
Chris