down low

[use_to_be_giglebug]

hi , every day it gets harder and harder to get out of bed,i feel worthless use less and above all guilty for feeling like this..i have wonderful family a great hubby and son ,daughter in law and a amazing 2 year old grand daughter..my brother was diagnosed with cancer late last year and it has been hell watching him go through treatment and i just feel over it all.i feel so guilty for feeling this way as its not me going through living with the desease its him..im pathetic and feel like whats the use !!!! i know i have to be strong for him and his family but its just getting too hard..i just dont know what to do.i am on medication for depression but i feel its getting worse.

[james1]

Hi giglebug,

I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. Between your brother’s difficulties and your own, that sounds like it could be really overwhelming.

I’m not sure what to say as I (thankfully) haven’t been in a situation with a family member with cancer. I guess the only consolation I can give is that I’m listening and it sounds really tough for you.

For someone not suffering from depression, that would be hard enough, let alone while also suffering from depression. You are being strong every day just by continuing to help when it is so hard, and just by doing that, you are also being helpful to those around you.

Please feel free to respond when you feel ready. Are you quite busy on the weekends with everything happening?

James

[use_to_be_giglebug]

thanks for your reply james, yes been very busy ,i have a very large family my parents had ten kids ,so weekends is usually busy time trying to get together with family but most times i feel i just dont want to do anything ....I thinkone of my reason for my depression right now is an incident that happened with my father in law about 6 mths ago,we were all together for a faimily do and he was there ,with all my family around (apart from my sick brother he hadent arrived yet thank goodness) he asked me if i had called someone about a job he was telling me about and i said no as i dont want to be working at the moment i need to be on standby for my brother if he needs me (his wife has to work still and im the go to girl at the moment ) my father in law in front of my mum and other family members said "why hes got cancer hes going to die anyway!!... i lost it i yelled at him and told him to leave my house now!!!..my husband was so ashamed and i had to reasure him it wasnt his fault he cant control what his father says...any way since that day i cant get his words out of my head.sometimes my thoughts just eat away at me

[james1]

Oh wow that’s a very large family then! I’d imagine family gatherings would be really hectic.

That’s a very sad story. It really hurts when people don’t understand and are so inconsiderate. And it must be hard to talk to your husband about it as well since, I guess, it’s all family involved.

If you don’t mind me asking, are there others in your family who you could turn to and are not so related to your father in law?

My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your brother.

James