I just feel like I can't do this anymore

[imtrying_]

I've never been diagnosed with depression but I feel so low all the time and I just don't know what to do. I hate something new about myself all the time, I'm unmotivated, I can't do anything. Recently school has just started getting way harder. And it's not like I can't do any of it, it's fully within my abilities to do what they're asking of me but I just... can't. I'm not even doing the bare minimum and it's still overwhelming. Today was supposed to be a 'catchup day', sort of like a day off, but I have so much work piling up that it's just a regular stressful day without any teams or zoom calls. I feel so inadequate all the time, I'm not smart, or skilled, or talented, or athletic or even good at interacting with people. And I hate discussing my emotions with my friends because I always feel so guilty. I mean, I have had a standard, happy life and I feel lower than garbage all the time. That's not fair to them, because they've all had actual problems in their lives. What right do I have to be depressed over nothing? I know it's fully in my control to fix things and help myself but I just feel like I can't and that it would be too hard to try. Basically, everything sucks but nothing actually sucks. I feel like a failure because I can't do what I'm supposed to, a liar because I'm not honest about how I feel, and a selfish idiot for feeling this way when I have no reason. And now I feel dumb for ranting on here being all woe is me about nothing. Which I know everyone will say is actually fine and that I'm allowed to reach out but like... idk. anyway. thanks for reading.

[Petal22]

Hi imtrying,

Wellcome to our forums!

Sorry you are feeling this way it must be difficult for you…

Please chat to us anytime on this forum we are here to support you…

Are you currently receiving professional help?

Have you been able to talk to your parents about the way you are feeling?

You are a human being and we sometimes go through depression or anxiety to no fault of our own…. It’s ok….. be kind to yourself…

here to chat

[CookieP]

Hey,

im sorry to hear you’re feeling this way,

I’ve lived with depression since I was in school, it’s tough! And I still struggle with getting overwhelmed by what seem like simple tasks on the daily!

I know it’s really hard to do, but try and be kind to yourself.. what helps me is to think - would I say what I am saying to myself to my family or friends? The answer is almost always no. So why do I talk to myself that way?

It’s so good, you’ve gotten some of your feelings out here even though you mentioned you hate sharing your emotions!

Last year I started seeing a psychologist, it’s been great having someone to talk to who doesn’t judge, just listens and helps!

Anyway, hope your okay 😊

[imtrying_]

Hi petal22, thanks for responding.

No I'm not seeing any professional help right now. I did once or twice a few years ago, but it was because m mum and my school were forcing me to so it really didn't help much. I'm not sure I want to again. But maybe I should.

And no I haven't been able to talk to my parents. I either feel like I can't or it's awkward to say how I feel, which makes me feel worse. I just feel like they wouldn't get it, my mum doesn't understand why anybody in a middle class position with a roof over their head and nothing wrong in their life would have any sort of mental health condition, and I'm scared she'll not believe me. My dad would believe me but I don't know how to talk to either of them about anything real.

Thank you for asking though, it means alot.

[Petal22]

Hi imtrying,

Maybe it would be a good idea to see your gp and you could do a mental health plan together this will enable you to see a psychologist……… a psychologist can give you many coping strategies…

I did both of the above it was my first step towards recovery….. I’m well now……

Im sorry your Mum is this way, can you have a chat to your Dad and let him know how you are feeling and that you would like some help…

You could write your parents a letter and in the letter tell them how you are really feeling……

Things feel like this at the moment but things will get better…..

Let me know how you go ……

Please chat to me any time