i feel like i'm on the slippery slope

[keithc]

i feel completely disoriented in this world these days. career, $$, relationship, it all feels like it's completely going down the tubes and taking me with it. my career is dead, i've worked 2 years out of 6. i'm hanging on to what little cash i have left. others say it's not that bad. to cheer up. but i feel like i'm on the slippery slope, that i'm losing strength. everything scares the daylights out of me. i cant shake the fact i know two people my age that have committed suicide in the last year. i dont feel like that, but i do feel that life has become utterly terrifying. 

[Neil_1]

Hi Keith

Good on you for coming here and joining Beyond Blue.  It's a fantastic community environment that is going here with many many fellow sufferers posting on a daily basis ... and also posting to people just like you ... giving their advice on different issues that are bought forward and above all else, support is given 100% to everyone who comes here.

Yours is a reasonably short and to the point post ... and there's nothing wrong with that. 

Am I to assume that you're dealing with these feelings on a solo basis or do you have a partner, spouse, children, family members in the background??

I find it so incredibly annoying when you hear the term, "Oh just cheer up", or "What have you got to be down about?"  These things don't help one bit.

It's always an absolute massive jolt/shock/tragedy when you know someone who has taken their own life ... I won't talk more on that.

Keith, have you sought out any professional help as yet or is this your sort of first port of call?  If you have a GP that you go to and you feel comfortable with them, then I think you should try and make an appointment with them to discuss exactly what you've posted here, but also perhaps delve a bit deeper.

If you aren't so sure of your GP, on this site, Beyond Blue have put up a list of GP's who are also qualified to deal with mental health related issues ... so it would just be a matter of doing a search and locating some in your local area.

When you say your career is dead?  Is your current employment finishing up soon?

I do hope you can get back to us, so we can perhaps try and assist you a little further.

Kind regards

Neil

[keithc]

I have a GP who is very mental health aware. she has been a great help. i am seeing a psychologist, she too is helping. i have come here because i cant dump myself on my partner. she tries hard to be patient and supportive, but i dont think she knows how bad it actually gets. i dont think i want her to know to be honest. she doesnt deserve the burden. 

i have not been able to find steady work since losing my job in the financial crisis at the end of 2008. many hundreds of applications and phone calls with a CV that i'm proud of, but it gets harder as time goes on. i feel the world is leaving me behind, and I've seen what that can do to people. 

i'm working hard at overcoming depression and anxiety, and this site is already helping. i like reading other's stories, i only want the best for them. 

thank you for your reply. it has helped to keep me working at this.

k