Dear Stu~
It may sound pretty obvious to say it but you are not coping. True you might hit the drink and that might help you for a few hours, but it your greif comes back straight away after, it was a delaying tactic of sorts, not a problem solver -you know that.
The situation may be bad but it is your not coping that makes you feel so bad so much so long. I'm not saying you can feel better in an instant, just that you start to see a light the end of the tunnel, even if that life is going to be different.
If you are like me there will be many things you have coped with in the past, from crashes to taking kids off parents, to DVs, to seeing a wife when you take her husband away, knowing it will be for a long time, to those that get violent with you to ...
Well I'm sure you can conjure up all sorts of memories. Like me you may have had to deal with them by yourself or if you another with you they could turn out pretty useless, just making things harder. Some were good.
OK, at the moment it does not look like you can improve how you feel by yourself, so get medical help , a councilor, psycologist or psychiatrist to tide you over, maybe uncover some skills that were buried inside you. I'm not just talking a few pills from a GP, but a professional in your kind of loss and greif.
You have to find the right one, that is up to you to do, not just accept the first one you see then wonder why it does no good.
Frankly I would not be here without that help. When I was invalided out there seemed absolutely nothing left and I missed being back all day every day. I'd have taken my life if it was not for a coincidence.
Then later I found something to do which gradually gave me an interest and new identity. and years later again when my wide died the same feelings of loss and grief arose, though this time I'd more idea what to do.
Venting does help, I'm glad you got someone you could talk to that time.
Croix
