Work disclosure?

[M2]

Hi all,

I'm a low level manager at an organisation that sees itself as quite modern and progressive. I'm currently struggling heavily with a long running bout of both anxiety and (more immediately present) debilitating depression which is impacting my performance at work. I feel VERY busy, my day is full, but i succeed in achieving VERY little. Not being able to adequately add any value only serves to add to my worry and fear and fuels my dive into despair.

I speak to my wife regularly about leaving this role so i can have a breather and surface for air... But we can't afford this and my depression will only be fueled by new fears and stresses of finding a new role.

i have constant ideation going on but this is not new, and not immediately concerning (though this can change rapidly).

anyway... My question is... Is there any value to be had in disclosing my current situation with my manager? I suspect (know) this would trigger hr to be informed and it would spell the end of my progression in this company (modern or not, i suspect this place is no different to any other) but perhaps something immediately positive would be a result. Or am i dreaming? Stigma is difficult to wash off and this is not a new position for me to be in, just perhaps more severe and prolonged (8-9 months?) than outbreaks I've encountered before.

[Aphador]

Hi M2,

This seems like a tough situation for you. It's good that you have your wife there to support you, however :). I can relate to that feeling- putting in a lot of effort and time and feeling very busy and receiving little to no reward. To be honest, I am not sure of the correct move- it's entirely possible that you are correct and talking to your manager would stagnate your progression. Ideally, your manager would be understanding of the issue and give you the space you need- again; however, I am hesitant to comment on that.

So instead of giving you advice on this front (perhaps someone else on the forums with experience in this area can step in and help), I will offer some other suggestions:

You do not have to leave your current job until you find another position. I realise this is a time where jobs are difficult to come by, but maybe it would be best to search around to see what else is available?

Perhaps working through these issues with a therapist/counsellor would be useful? If you go to them with the goal to maximise time: saying that you feel like you don't have enough time, perhaps they can give you strategies to maximise the time that you do have- plans that will separate your work life and your own life.

I'm sorry I couldn't directly answer the question, but primarily I just wanted to comment so that you know you have support here. If you feel you need to talk further, I will be here to listen 🙂

Aphador 🙂

[smallwolf]

Hi.

It is a difficult question to answer... whether you tell people at work?!?

A little from me - I worked from home for many years. During that time there was a certain disconnect from society. Loneliness sets in. Being alone gave me more time to think about this, both good and bad. So it got to a point where depression and anxiety set in.

Do you tell your boss? Two people suggested I speak with my boss.... mother and psychologist. The idea being to find a solution to the situation I found myself in. Long story short... I did speak with my boss. It worked out mostly.

I have read some stories on the forums here where others had successes in talking. Also some stories where it has not worked out.

Perhaps because of what we know or don't know, suspect, think, etc. and this is on both sides can think the worst case scenario.

In some ways, and because of the position I was in, I put my health over my job. I had also lost interest in what I was doing as well. So while I was there I have been also planning my exit.

I know this does not answer your questions.

What makes you feel as though you are not adding value?

Tim

[Not_Batman]

Hi M2

this is a late response, sorry. I came across the thread in search for something similar.

your symptoms sound very much like mine, so im aware of how you feel.

i didnt want to disclose anything to anyone at work because of how i felt about myself, and it wasnt until i had a breakdown that it all came out to my then boss. He was kind of supportive, but in a panicy not knowing what to do way.

that was a few years ago now, and there has been a lot of water under the bridge. This year, all of those feelings you described all came back to me. I didnt want to disclose anything because of fear of ostracising, catastrophising etc. But the last session i had with my psych we thought that it would be best to disclose it because otherwise nobody would know i needed help. I was still very nervous about it all, how would my manager react.

Today i read our company policy on health, safety, and wellbeing, and it all sounded supportive. It also had bits in there about obligations to keep you safe, and keep people around you safe, which is paramount. I was scheduled to go on a business trip with another person, but i opted out for their and my safety, and instead chose to disclose in person, and in private about what was going on.

the only thing i received was praise and support. Which took a huge weight off my shoulders.

every company will be different, but every company is obliged to keep you safe, and not discriminate (per safe work / fair work).

i understand the pressures of a progressive small business, having been a manager of a team, feeling isolated and unsupported, overworked. The main thing is that you take care of yourself. If you take the time to take care of yourself, then there will be opirtunities to take care of the other things one step at a time.

On an aeroplane the attendants tell you to put on your own mask before helping others. Its not a selfish act, and not is taking cate of your mental health.

Not_Batman