Torn

[Julz01]

I haven’t posted in a while but reaching out because I am struggling at the moment. My psychiatrists recommends a 3 week stint as an inpatient but I feel like I am letting my husband down. I did this 4 years ago and my life turned around so I am thinking this could be good for me.

i am drinking too much but can’t stop so hospital puts a stop to that. But I feel less of a person if I have to go to hospital to stop the noise in my head time to just deal with me. Then I am worried how I deal with work if I do this what do I say.

My psychiatrists is changing my medications around to try and get me through this so coming of one of my meds & working out if I need a substitute so maybe this would be better managed as an inpatient.

So confused

[white knight]

Hi again, great to hear from you again

Sometimes we need to prioritise our lives. It might be confusing to you but it is as clear as day to me. You need this time, this time will allow you to reset yourself. A real chance at giving up the drinking - how commendable for you to even consider that.

This inpatient time is like a short step back, then a leap forward. I hope you take the advice of your professionals.

PS a relative of mine did the same, spent some time as an inpatient and that was 3 years ago. She has made a huge leap forward.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello Julz01, it's always lovely to have people return to the site, but this depends on their circumstances and unfortunately, an addiction creates many unforeseen problems that may not have been expected with you or the person you're living with.

Going to the hospital will allow you to dry out, but what it needs to do is also prepare for your release, because a 3 week stay is a relatively short period, unless it's concentrated on providing support on the preparation you need once you can go home.

There is a medication that can stop the urge to drink, so you have no desire to drink and even if you do drink while taking it, there won't be any buzz, but it will only work if you want to give up the alcohol, otherwise, it's not worth taking.

If your life has been able to be turned around, I applaud you, but it's those trigger points that do confront all of us, situations we know we need to avoid.

Can I suggest you contact other help by typing this in your browser search bar 'www.healthdirect.gov.au › alcoholism-at-home' where it says Alcohol contacts | Australian Government Department of Health'.

Sometimes when we have this type of experience, we can feel embarrassed which can have a negative impact on your thoughts and behaviour, producing the need to drink, but remember I'm sure most of us respond in our own way when something happens we don't want to happen, and we aren't alone even our pets know, in one way or another.

I really hope you can get back to us and please take care.

Geoff.

[therising]

Hi Julz01

It is always humbling to meet someone who considers the most courageous of management plans when it comes to managing their mental health. It takes a lot of courage to consider weeks of some upheaval in life.

It would be so much easier if someone was to say 'Here's a long list of things that will definitely work when it comes to managing mental health. This 100% success rate list is yours, so which thing on the list would you like to choose from?' Unfortunately, we have to create our own list as we go along. A bit of a trial and error thing of finding what works and what doesn't. It can feel like a seriously cruel and depressing process, that's for sure, yet it is often an intensely courageous and faithful process, asking that we muster up and maintain both courage and faith. Very hard to do at times, especially in depression.

Myself, I spent years managing trying to find what worked for me within my depression. Of course, a lot of things didn't work, such as my dependence on alcohol. it took about 15 years or so to not only find what was beginning to work better than anything but to find that it actually led me out of depression altogether. In looking back, I can tell you it was a courageous process. There is great pride to be found in navigating the toughest of challenges in life. You should be proud of yourself for all you've done to manage your way to this point in life. Depression is one of the most brutal and overwhelming things to manage.

Do you feel that going into hospital may make a positive difference to you in the way forward? If so, trust that feeling. When it comes to work, what you do with the leave you take is not your employer's business. If you wish to to give reason for the leave, you could just say 'I'm need time off for a personal procedure' and leave it at that. It is the truth, without detail. Your husband may face challenges, for sure, but he will need to strategically manage his way through these challenges. He may actually grow through these challenges, finding new ways to manage.

If some of your triggers are at home and/or work, a break from these environments may prove to be of some benefit, offering time for greater clarity. Managing to find a break from these environments might be a part of your management plan.

What is not to say that you won't find someone in hospital who shares with you some mind altering epiphany that makes some monumental difference to you. It is difference, not sameness, that changes us.

🙂

[clown_of_mine]

When in doubt have faith in the professionals............

[Julz01]

Thanks everyone appreciate the support. I have made a tentative booking for Admission next Wednesday.

I just don’t know what I am going to tell work.

[Julz01]

Looking for advice on what I should say to work & explaining my 3 week absence. Any advice would be appreciated.

[therising]

HI Julz01

Sounds like you're making positive progress. Was saying to someone just yesterday that the major challenges we face in life are the life altering ones. No biggy being challenged when it comes to what to have for dinner or how we want our hair cut. The life altering ones change our course and are typically comprised of a lot of micro challenges (that can feel big at the same time), such as what to tell work.

I suppose it depends on what your boss is like. If he/she is a very compassionate, understanding and trustworthy person, saying that you need time off for mental well being reasons will, I imagine, be both encouraged and supported. If they are someone who you feel you can't explain things to, simply saying you need time off for personal reasons that you can't go into might be the way to go. If you have a brilliant GP, asking them how they can write a leave certificate without it reflecting mental well being reasons could also be the way to go. The reason I mention the GP and not the psyche is due to the letterhead on the certificate. If you don't want it reflecting psychological services, the GP would be the way to go. Perhaps your psyche has a way around the letterhead issue. How you approach leave also depends on whether you want to access sick leave or annual leave, whether you actually need or want the certificate. Hope I haven't made things even more confusing.

Julz01, I know it might be hard to imagine but even though it may appear that the same or similar processes are being repeated within our depression, such processes are never exactly the same. What I mean is as we make our way through depression, we're always graduating towards making our way out of it. In hindsight, I can say that what felt like two steps forward, one step back during my years in depression was actually one step forward at a time, always one step forward toward coming out. We're never the same person repeating the same old process (such as with the hospital visit). We're a different person, a more evolved person, trying again at what may appear to be the same process.

I find those who fight to live through depression to be the most amazing people. While some folk who just vibe through life in a basic way are content with basically living, those with depression fight so hard in so many ways to connect to life. They put in so much hard work, an understatement at times. I wish you the greatest of rewards, as you work incredibly hard to make a difference 🙂