I don't want to seem like a sook or like I'm looking for attention

[Tjm91]

Ok, so I think I have depression and I don't know what to do next. It only really hit me recently when a friend made a comment and when I actually did some research I think I might have depression. Problem is I don't want to speak to anyone I know about it I don't want to seem like a sook or like I'm looking for attention-also the reason I don't want to see a doctor because I am scared they will say nothing is wrong with me and I'll never feel better. Im 24 and I have become so withdrawn. I used to be quite bubbly and outgoing but now I don't want any attention on me ( it's so bad I avoid pulling up directly beside cars because I don't want anyone to look at me). I am not excited about anything anymore and I can't see any future for myself and I am always so tired. To try and describe it I feel as though I'm stuck in a tiny frosted glass box, everything outside is blurry and everyone outside the box is going about their lives in fast forward and can't see me in there and have forgotten me. I feel like everyone is always annoyed with me. I've lost all my confidence I avoid eye contact with people and I just feel like it will never get better. Strangely though I get weird bursts of happiness/energy for about an hour at a time and then crash again. I don't feel connected to anyone anymore. My best friends/family feel like strangers. 

I want some honest opinions - do you think this is depression or just a phase? I've felt like this for about two months now and it just seems to be getting worse.  

 Thanks - sorry for the long post 

[White_Rose]

Dear Tjm91

Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue.It's good that you have written in here with your concerns and I hope I can help you.

You sound very much as though you are depressed. I am not a doctor so I cannot give you a definitive answer. And I doubt if a doctor would give an answer on line. There is a depression checklist on the BB homepage. It says One Minute Checklist under depression. As it says it only takes a minute to do and you will get scored according to your answers, so be honest. This checklist will give you a probability answer if I remember correctly.

Now about going to your doctor. I very much doubt that any doctor will say there is nothing wrong with you. It's possible, but I feel is unlikely, that the doc will say you are not depressed. But there is certainly something amiss with you that needs checking out. This is not attention seeking. There are far easier and more spectacular ways to do this than having a quiet chat with your GP.

Being a sook? Rubbish. Depression is a serious illness and needs expert care. The damage done by people who think depression is "all in the mind" and you can "just snap out of it" and "get your act together" is horrendous.It's serious, can be life threatening, makes people live in fear and breaks families and other relationships. OK this is not the norm but it really is horrendous so do not beat yourself up by thinking it's just like having the 'flu and will go away by itself.

I suggest you explore the tabs at the top of this page and read about depression. BB has excellent and factual information on this topic. Under Get Support/Find a Professional you will find a list of GPs with experience in mental illness issues. This list is searchable by postcode and will help you find a suitable GP in your area if you have concerns about going to your own GP.

What will happen after your GP visit? If the doc thinks you are depressed there are several possibilities. Give you an antidepressant medication/refer you to a psychiatrist or psychologist/refer you to a counsellor/work with you to manage your depression/other options I don't know.

You may need time off work, in which case you will be given a medical certificate.The GP may write up a mental health plan which gives you ten free psychology sessions. It all depends on the diagnosis 

You will not spend the rest of your life fighting depression on your own. At least not unless to choose to do so.

Hopefully my words are helpful. Go and see your GP.

Mary

[Carl___just_Carl]

HiTjm91, you're not a sook or a whinger. No one can see your pain, although to you it is horribly real. If you had an open wound or were using a crutch you'd have something people could see and associate with. Seek help, there are some good people out there, don't be embarrassed talking to your GP about how you feel and don't let them brush you off. It's a fight with fighting and you may not actually get a straight out win, but you will prevail with help and courage.

Something I've learned, even those that love you can't always get their head around how you feel, you need patience on each side. It's easy to hurt those that care for you when you feel your in a pit.

Have courage. Fight the black dog. He's a bully and he will back down if you stand up to him.