Detachment from everyday life

[LifemySide]

Wondering if there is any mums out there also having trouble doing daily routine things.  I feel so alone and lifeless.

[Daisycqt]

Hon you're not alone, there are lots of us mums out there all feeling the same and all dragging through some days and sailing through others. Have you seen your doctor about how you feel? I know as a mum we should be tough and strong but we do sometimes break and need fixing. Try seeing a woman doctor who, as a working woman will understand a little more and can get you started on medication if you need it. big supportive hug. Take care

[LisaT]

I struggle through each day. Some days are better than others but my motivation is nil. You are not alone.

[Neil_1]

Hi there life@myside

Welcome to Beyond Blue and thank you for your post.

I would just like to add, that if you don’t have a gp or someone who you feel good about seeing, Beyond Blue on this site have a list of gp’s that can be searched for;  hopefully you can find one or more in your local area.  These gp’s are on this site as they are all experienced in dealing with mental health issues and as such, are then able to diagnose and take forward your issues in the most appropriate fashion.

Kind regards

Neil

Ps:   even us blokes have troubles with the daily routine things as well.  🙂    Hey, you’ve put a smile on my face.  🙂   Oh and there’s another one.

[LifemySide]

Thanks everyone, and sorry guys, I didn't mean to exclude you that way.

I've seen GP(s) and am on medication and has seen psychologist.  Due to mental health plan running out i have to pay psychologist and at $240 each time it's just too expensive.  

I've hit a wall in the last week again.  I can't concentrate at work and it is killing me keeping up the smiley face so no-body knows.

I'm at a point where i just can't function anymore.  My brain that is.  I just want to crawl up into bed and stay there.  (again)

So stressful to keep going to work.  Wish they knew and could give me time off.  But it wouldn't help sitting at home.  I want to get help putting the pieces together from scratch.  Where do I begin.  Over the weekend i felt like taking myself to hospital.  What can't help feeling that they'd laugh at me.  There are people with worse problems than me... 

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[LifemySide]

sorry i thought i just replied to all of you, not just you...i'm not used to posting etc 

[LifemySide]

Hi thanks everyone.

I am on meds, have seen GP & phych.

I'm sitting at work feeling like my body have slowed down to near stand still but my heart is pumping so hard.

My brain is frozen and I'm so dead inside. But i have to keep the friendly face on so that nobody will know.

 Is there a way of stopping, and restarting life AND NOT LOSE     

[Neil_1]

Hi Life@myside

Firstly, you’re doing just fine with the posting – it’s all good.

Being on meds, good.   Seen a gp, good.   Seen a psych, good.

So it should all be good – but it’s not.  Boy oh boy, that sounds familiar.   What also sounds familiar is your “smiley face so no-body knows”, or it can also be called a ‘depression mask’, that you ‘wear’ so no-one sees what’s behind.  And it gets exhausting in wearing it for so long each day and I really feel you’re getting to the stage where you want to drop the mask?  I did that after a number of years – a load of years, but I was also making sure that where I was working was going to be a suitable place to ‘reveal’ all;  and fortunately, it was.

I don’t need to know your work or your workplace, but have you been there long?   Do you have a good relationship with your boss or supervisor?

What other supports do you have?   Ie:   family, possible friends, hells bells, even pets?   Pets are awesome.  🙂

And YES, perhaps not restarting life, but continuing on in a positive format and not lose is possible.

What you’ve done now is to create the path for a positive future.  Brilliant brilliant thing.

I do hope to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[LifemySide]

Hi Neil,

I've only started in Dec, so not long.  I can't just drop the bomb now.  I also have to keep it together because my co-worker is going on maternity leave and they won't have anyone else to take over if I don't come to work.  Puts extra stress on me.

I have been at this screaming out for help point of my life so many times before.  Then the fog clears and I quickly dust myself off and dry the tears and ashamed carry on doing what i'm supposed to but I always find myself here again.  That is scary.  I don't know how to fix things.  I don't know how to prevent me getting to this point again.

I have a good support network, but sometimes I don't think they even know how 'serious' this is for me. I grew up with guilt that I am wasting other people's time complaining about my depression and that everyone 'is there' for me, but life doesn't stop for me, and inevitably they get irritated and move on.

 I'm constantly putting a perfect life on paper by planning, making lists and coaching myself, but heck, I have so many of these lists and go-to plans that is half completed and never initiated.  In that sense i feel like a hoarder in my head with unfinished unaccomplished lists and strategies and it's just all to hard and it's let me down time after time so I don't have faith in fixing myself anymore.  it clearly isn't working.

[Neil_1]

Hi Life@myside

Hey, thank you for your latest response and awesome to hear back from you.

Yes yes, I fully understand with that being your work situation, then it’s best to keep things “as is” for the time being – but I guess it’s just that I hope you can get some “down-time”, some “me-time” at the end of each day, so you can unwind a bit.

Wow, with what you’ve posted, that could have been me who wrote that, though your style is a lot less rambling than mine and you can get to a point in a more shortened format, whereas I seek out and search for words to write and end up with a load of verbal clutter – see, here I go again.

What I’m trying to say is, it sounds like you’re in a vicious loop or cycle of depression and I believe that comes and haunts and affects so many of us.  You say, you don’t know how to fix things and that you don’t have faith in fixing yourself anymore. Wowee, I’ve pretty much written, or posted those words before on a number of occasions;  and that is one of the reasons that I spend a bit of time here.  Because I can’t seem to fix myself anymore, what I try to do is to try and help out others who need help or ‘fixing’ or support or advice.  I’ve lived with this for so long now and every option I’ve tried never seems to fix me – ok, all that I’ve got in place is no doubt making me stable and I’m reasonably plateaued (at a low level), but while I’m not climbing any higher, my lows don’t tend to plummet too much – though I do have my moments.

I hope I haven’t scared you with this – but more so just wanted to say that I understand where you’re coming from and I did like hearing of your little plans – I call them, little goals – small ones trying to achieve.  That’s a great thing to have and I hope you can go back to those lists and try for a refresh.

Also be great to hear from you again.

Neil