Hi Bombastus,
Welcome to the forums and thank you for reaching out. I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time.
It can be really difficult digging yourself out of the dark pit you are in, but you need to understand and believe you deserve better, because you do.
I have a few questions for you:
Are you getting any help with your depression? Counselling, medication?
Has it been long term or has it been more recent?
Are you looking after yourself? Eating well, getting enough rest?
It is a tough thing to be alone, but not impossible. It may be that you need this time to look into the things that are most important to you, things that you have always wanted to try, things that you want to learn about.
Families can be difficult to navigate, but you could try talking to them about how you are feeling if you feel it might help.
Friendships will come from being around like minded people, so is there something you can get involved with in your local area? Even doing a couple of hours of volunteering each week would help you get out of your home and doing something that makes you feel good about yourself again. That could be with animals, at a hospital, etc.
My advice for your birthday tomorrow is to take yourself out and do something that you will enjoy, go to a nice restaurant, see a band, interact with people while you are out, buy yourself a treat etc. Be determined to enjoy yourself, you never know who you might meet and strike up a conversation with.
I hope this helps a little, we will be here to support you, you are not really alone.
Take care,
indigo22
