I don't know any more

[emila_03]

im a school leaver, I left at the end of year 10 because of bullying and "friends throwing me in the trash" (discarding me) I was also bullied a lot about my weight even when I have managed to maintain that weight for 2 years, at the end of year 9 a boy called me a hippo and made big belly hand motions, after that I left school that day only 10 mins into class, ever since then I was never concerned with my weight and how I look now and all the negative emotions and feelings settle in. I got bullied for my weight even more in year 10 including people starting rumour of me being lesbian (not saying anything bad, its just upsetting when people call you something your not and make a big deal about it). at the end of year 10 I left and am now in tafe doing childcare, I'm only 1 semester in and now I just don't know anymore, I feel empty and lonely, I no longer feel happy and cry everyday also having an emotional breakdown at my job the other day I had to leave and go home, I believe I'm also stressed from all the assignments (5 assignments due in same week) but I don't know how to identify it. I also don't have a free day to myself anymore 5 days tafe then weekends are work. iv tried to talk to my mum about it but she don't really listen saying its "adult life". I don't know what to do anymore. has anyone ever felt like this?

[emila_03]

"Ever since then I have always Been..."

My bad, mistake 

[Earth Girl]

Hi emila_03,

I can relate to some of the things you've gone through. I missed a lot of school in high school and college because of bullying and because I had something wrong with my tummy. I'm sorry people bullied you a lot. I was also insecure about how I looked. I have stretch marks on my belly now from weight I have lost (which I'm okay with) and people would call me things like "ugly" a lot. Some guys at school also made a rumor that I was a lesbian just because I didn't like them back and I agree, it's very upsetting when people make rumors about you like this because then you get bullied really badly. 

When I finished college, I started studying childcare too and did so for 4 years, but I didn't manage to complete the full course because I didn't get my on job assignments done as I was too shy to keep asking the people working there if I could do them. The good news is that even though I didn't manage to complete my certificate, I was still able to put it on my resume as partly completed. I agree that it is a very hard course, especially with all the assignments you have to do, but even if you decide it's not what you want to do anymore and/or you don't manage to complete it, it can still be put on to your resume which can definitely help you get a new job in the future because it shows you like to learn and work experience looks great on resumes.

It must also be extremely stressful not being able to have a single day to yourself because each day you are either studying or at work. I think most people have at least one or two days off a week. Can you see the counselor about this? They might be able to talk to your teachers and then they might be able to make your work load a bit easier by giving you extra time. Since you're very busy everyday, you wouldn't have as much time to do you assignments.