I am useless and worthless

[spunkyturtle]

So I found out I could apply for remission of HECS debt due to special circumstances, mental health. I applied to 6 Universities and 4 Universities refunded a total of $27,800'of HECS debt. 2 Universities have refused to refund the last $16,000 so a law firm took my case pro bono and we are taking them to the AAT. After months of pain stakingly building a case and going over how pathetic my existence has been I was basically told today because my psychiatrist and psychologist wouldn't help and provide a report, money is more important after all, the case has nothing much to base on because well medical documents mean nothing, the department of education have now lawyer end up so my lawyer is expecting them to be ruthless. Gee, I feel like a useless, worthless piece of trash. Stupid me, I thought I had legal rights, but I don't, what a waste of time. Next time I think I have legal rights I'm going to lock myself in my room and drink u til the thought passes.

[MarkJT]

Spunkyturtle, sorry to hear that you have been given the run around with the HECS debt. Clearly not a very pleasant situation to be in.

Now i want to make this 100% clear, you are NOT worthless, you are NOT useless and you certainly are NOT trash. You are loved, you are wanted and you are valued. What you are feeling now is not you, it is your brain playing tricks on you.

If you sat back and look at all the things you have accomplished in your life, you would be amazed. Some people say that they have not accomplished anything. Have you ever made a person smile? Of course you have, many many times. Just think of that for a second. How powerful is it to make a person feel happy. That awesome emotion of being happy and you have done that.

Without knowing the inner details of your matter, unfortunately it is a fact of life that some people are driven so much by money, people do not matter. You can spin this around your way. Imagine how good it is going to be when you come out the other side of this with your head held high. Yes things may not have gone 100% your way but you will be winning at life. You will have taken the high ground and you will be so empowered. You can then use this to propel yourself forward in life.

You will need some really good coping strategies to use when it gets rocky. Start practicing mindfulness (if you are not already), get your fave playlist set in the phone and have some close mates on speed dial if you need to talk things over. There is also the beyondblue helpline number 1300 224 636 or the online chat facility to use if you need to speak to some trained people.

Can see that you are a regular poster on the forums so you would no doubt know that there are so many people in here that are happy to help out where they can in a caring and non judgmental way.

As I said above, you have an opportunity to take control of your life, if all this doesn't work out, you will rebound. Get that foundation set for the battles ahead and you will hold yourself in good stead for when they happen.

Good luck with it all and please keep posting if you have questions, queries or just want tee have a good old fashioned tee off or whinge.

Cheers

Mark.

[white knight]

Hi ST, welcome

Welcome to the unjust world it is.

When I had a crisis at work many years ago, my then therapist told me...."it is a grey world that does not provide well for those expecting it to be black and white." Since then I've realized more and more things like-

Grey haired older people with smiling faces I once viewed as people with integrity still need to prove to me such integrity. Don't assume their distinguished look means honour

Government departments are not geared up to enable their individual employees to communicate one on one in a caring way. That doesn't mean they aren't kind, the system doesn't give them rope to allow the time.

Life is not easy. These sorts of hurdles are better to be expected. Then if you have a period of no hurdles its party time.

We all have legal rights but not free nor easy to obtain legal rights. That's how I see it.

All of the above seems a cynical view but its reality and when one is thinking alone such lines it means you have things in the right order so you don't get disappointed.

hope that helps. It doesn't mean not to be positive in attitude just realistic of how the world in and forever will be, in the grey sludge.

Tony WK

[1618_hkm]

Greetings 🙂

My immediate response, to what you've described of your psychiatrist and psychologist, is to find new ones who are willing to help you submit a report.

Given the mental health background that you have, and that the case is now being made by lawyers, I dare say that a report from your doctors may be subpoenaed, rendering their distinct lack of professional courtesy and moral streak inert - potentially resulting in a more thorough appraisal, of your situation, for financial leniency.

Do not go looking to the bottom of a bottle. It's cheaper not to, and the headaches are really not worth it. I say this as a former alcoholic and currently paranoid depressive with a multitude of avenues upon which psychologists are yet to fatten their pockets.

All is not lost in a world painted by those with little-to-no depth perception and an appalling sense of perspective.

Don't give up hope. Chin up.

You are important. You are special.

[Chris_B]

Hi everyone, we're going to close this thread off as there are a number of threads covering this already. Spunkyturtle, I'd suggest keeping your story together in one thread rather than starting multiple new ones, as it means the community can more easily keep up with where you're at.