I am going to the psychologist tommorrow

[Weaponsofmassdisstortion]

First session. is tomorrow. My support worker is coming along for the first one only. Cause I get quite bad social anxiety. I was just thinking about all the things I should talk about with him. And it just got me thinking about stuff. About all the things I have been through. All the bad childhood experiences I went through. And even the hard experiences I went through more recently. I am feeling pretty down at the moment. I wish the future would hurry up and create a machine which could erase memories. Because I would like to forget a lot of my life.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Weaponsofmassdisstortion,

I can understand how you may be having some apprehension as to how the conversation with your psychologist may go tomorrow. It can not be easy to discuss such personal issues and have social anxiety, indeed a support worker can be great support.  I'm sorry to hear that there are things that you would like to erase from your memory.  It must be very difficult to have things weighing on you.  

You are not alone and the community is here to support you.  We hope you find comfort on this forum.  
 

[geoff]

Hello, it can be frightening having your first appointment but your support worker will be there to help you.

What we suggest is to write down what is causing all of this on some paper, you can give a copy to your s/worker if you feel as though it's necessary, and hand another copy to the psychologist who will read what you've said and respond accordingly, but it will be taken slowly.

There maybe points you've listed that you haven't spoken to anybody about, that's perfectly OK and understandable or you could mention on the list to the psych only, 'can we talk about this when I'm by myself', this maybe more appropriate for you.

Please realise that we talk about something with person A but don't mention it to another person for our own personal reasons.

This first session is only to get to know each other, especially if you feel comfortable talking with them.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Weaponsofmassdisstortion]

Well that was utter torture. After leaving the session, I could feel the anxious tension hang about me for the next hour or so. It slowly flowed out from me over time. I really don't like answering personal questions. That's something we identified in the session. So, I guess it is some kind of progress.

Can really you blame me if I don't want to answer questions about myself? My mother was an undiagnosed schizophrenic, I first thought about suicide when I was 12 years old. My life is just one big tragic story. That's all I am, just a sad tragic story. Nobody wants to hear about all that stuff. People want to hear about your hot new girlfriend, your brand new car, the new job you just got. People don't want to hear about what a pathetic waste of space I am. Sorry, it's late and I am not in a good state of mind.