How to obtain self worth with a learning disability

[Chris_R]

Hi there,

I need some help please with how to find self worth when you have a learning disability. I am a 51 year old female who has struggled with leaning for most of my adult life. I didn't seem to have problems when I was in primary school, but for whatever reason it became worse after years 11 and 12. So basically I find it hard to comprehend things, slow at learning and have a poor memory. This has always made it hard to obtain employment. I've had to resort to low skilled jobs that I don't enjoy. Hence I have never felt good about myself. Even at this age I have not learnt how to feel worthwhile. It's hard to enjoy life and be around others when you often don't understand what they are saying. It's extremely shameful.

I know some people say concentrate on your strengths, but I seriously don't have any. I am not good at anything.

If anyone can help me please with how does someone feel like their life is worth living when they have little to contribute.

Thanks

[Sophie_M]

Hi Chris R,

Welcome to the forums, we are so glad that you've taken a big step in sharing here. We're sorry to hear you are finding hard to feel like life is worth living when you don't think you have much to contribute. We think you have shown how much resilience and kindness you have to contribute to the world by sharing here today, and being so open. That's not easy, it shows a lot of strength and you never know who is reading this and feeling less alone because of what you have shared. 

It sounds like you’ve been managing some huge challenges, and they've really impacted your wellbeing and self-esteem. Do you have any professional mental health support that helps you with these problems? It could be really worth reaching out to someone to talk this through. If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, please give the helpline a ring on 1300 22 4636, or use the webchat to speak to them here.

We hope you find some comfort in sharing here, and in hearing from the lovely community members, some of whom may be able to relate to what you’re going through right now. Lots of people on the forums find that sharing is a big step on the journey towards feeling better. We’re sure we’ll here from them here on your thread soon. In the meantime, here’s some resources you could take a look at:

• When your inner critic is giving you a tough time
• The Beyond Blue Heads Up page on working with a mental health condition
• The Beyond Blue Heads Up resources on taking care of your mental health.

Thanks again for sharing. Our community is really kind and understanding, we think they’ll have some really helpful advice and perspectives.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[white knight]

Hi Chris R, welcome

My wife has OCD and learning difficulties including dyslexia and is around the same age as yourself.

Firstly, those with empathy will be a better type of person to be around, they will embrace you better than those with no empathy. This might mean attending clubs for social activity that involve easier hobbies like my wife attends a sewing group. Rather than say becoming a member of a local committee assigned to parks and gardens where decisions are made with finances etc.

I understand you are stuck in the middle- intelligent yet communication and literature are stumbling blocks. Poor memory can sometimes be the cause of many learning issues and I dont have the answer to that except to say that medication can sometimes contribute towards it, so check with your GP. At home a large jigsaw in a spare room can help but it is like a lot of things it takes hard persistent work to improve.

An idea you might consider is tolerating your job but after hours at home develop a small business. Like making things to sell at markets. Consider this- make an item involves some research on a computer (can you use one?) to obtain materials, make them which involves being creative and sell them at the market which results in more income, more self worth and meeting other people/friends.

TonyWK

[Chris_R]

Hi Sophie,

Thank you for your kind words and support.

I will try your suggestions and look forward to hopefully hearing from others as well.

Cheers C.

[Chris_R]

Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to respond to my post. I really appreciate it.

It is an interesting view to see people's worth as much more than what they can achieve academically. I have never embraced this succumbing to external factors such as family and societal pressure. All my extended family are successful professionals. I have always compared myself and feel inferior.

I like your suggestion on tolerating work and concentrating on creativity. I do have some hobbies that I would like to pursue further such as mountain bike riding and planting trees. Perhaps joining a community nursery where it is physical, you meet like minded people and doing something positive for the environment.

Memory is a tricky one. I agree this will take persistence and motivation.

You have inspired me.

Thank you

[white knight]

Hi

I'm so happy I've made an impact.

The community nursery is a great idea. Also you might identify a indigenous tree that seeds well, sow seedlings in a small greenhouse and plant them the next year of donate them to a planting group.

In 1996 I became separated from my wife and was at a complete loss. I bought a block of land and started designing my own kit home and from that moment on my body was at work, my mind on that house. It was so much easier to work.

I'd like to leave you with a thought. Of all the professionals that work inside a hospital the most important worker is the - cleaner! And- a cleaners work (preventing disease and infections from hygiene) is the most under rated job. People will always notice a dirty surface and the cleaner gets blamed however rarely if ever the clean surface is reported as being "remarkably clean, please pass on my appreciation for a wonderful job".

TonyWK