my depression doesn't feel real?

[catlvr]

 Hi, I'm a first year uni student. i just moved to a new state where i know nobody and i've been feeling so lonely. i feel like i ave "depression" but idk if its just a phase like "everyone goes thru this" usually this is what ppl tell me when i try to to talk to someone they tell me that everyone is sad but just hide it better which makes my feelings feel invalid and that im just an attention seeker because i can't hide my "depression". im using quotations on the word depression because i am not medically diagnosed. i would say ive been "depressed" since i was 16 and hve had bad thoughts and self-harmed. i want to seek medical help but its hard because therapy isn't very normalised in my family its considered an embarrassment or flaw and i will be looked down upon or even be called an attention seeker. i want to be able to feel again. i feel like i am dissociated from life right now. like im not living my life but someone else. a stimulation i could say. my cat is helping me stay alive. i also am not financially stable to get medical help. what do i do. i barely have friends and when i try talk to someone its not much help?

[Sophie_M]

Hello Catlvr,

We would like to thank you for posting. It takes strength and courage to po

We understand how lonely it can be when we move alone to a new state and a new university.

We would like to encourage you to consider talking with the uni's counsellors. They may be able to help you find uni support groups, and other local resources.

We would also like to encourage you to continue engaging with the community here on the forums. Many have been in similar situations, and are happy to share what has helped them get through.

Sophie M.
 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I agree with Sophie- seek out your uni counsellor for a chat.

There is some golden rules when one has a suspicion of a mental illness of any sort- be careful not to take on board the views of non qualified people especially those that downplay any such illness or dismiss it through "everyone has sadness" type comments. This can include up to 90% of everyday people sadly.

A change of environment can be detrimental to your stability. When I left home at 17yo to join the Air Force and moved interstate, initially I was excited but then got homesick. Be aware that the feeling you dont belong and cant settle is quite normal. These down period might lead you to feeling inadequate or weak but that is being unfair on yourself.

Having mental struggles to outsiders that havent experienced them will lead to comments that can be devastating. The term "attention seeker" is, I believe, a cruel one and doesnt offer any form of support. I compare it to an astronaut that returns to his family and they ask him what his space flight was like. No matter how he could describe his experience, no one would be able to imagine what it was like. The same with any of the many illnesses one could be suffering from.

So, I suggest a proper diagnosis or in the least a trip to your GP as the correct treatment with/without medication can work wonders and change all this around. Some of us here is living proof of that.

Repost anytime and thankyou for writing in. You can post 24/7/365

TonyWK

[Blue1556]

Hey,

I agree with the other posts about uni counsellors.
Also see a GP (if you google to find one that will bulk bill then you won’t have to pay).

You don’t need to tell your family that you are seeing a counsellor etc if you don’t want to. The important thing is to get support and know that there is always someone to help and someone that will listen. Any time of day or night.

I’m not sure what things are like with covid, but uni is a good time to meet new people- to ‘find your tribe’. There are all types of people, groups, clubs, sport teams and things like that to join. If something interests you, then you might find like minded people that become lifelong friends.

[On The Road]

Hi catlvr,

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's quite similar to my experience in college. and I wasn't even aware of anything related to "depressive mood" or "depression", I was just constantly feeling down. I was almost completely isolated and didn't trust anyone (including school counsellors). new environment, new challenges, people from families and friends that don't understand, and those judgements came from all groups of people..... someone even called me "lifeless" (Geez) 😠 I think I can resonate with you on this one ☹️

I also agree that go to the uni's counsellor for a chat. I understand your feelings of "being dissociated" and you want to be able "to feel", this is what happened to me as well. It is strange to see the world thru tinted glasses like you are unable to feel the truth, but I think it is common for ppl who live in a depressed mood.

I agree with Sophie that you seek out professional help and share more here. Reach out is the first step, we're here to listen. Good luck 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Catlvr, being at uni for your first year means there are hundreds of people you don't know, that's understandable and most people will feel the same, but this doesn't solve your concern.

Although I'm not qualified, there is a difference between feeling sad than when you're depressed because the latter is an ongoing and overpowering disorder that can drastically impact on your daily living and affects everything you had wanted to do, whereas being sad, you can still achieve certain tasks in other areas.

As cash is a problem, there are doctors who bulk bill and they can also suggest a 'mental health plan' which entitles you to 10 Medicare paid sessions with a psych which may help you get started.

You don't have to tell your family and if you are 25 years or under you can also contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, be chat or online.

I hope this adds on to what else has been suggested.

Geoff.