how to hide/ fight depression

Missberri · ‎03-03-2018

Hi,

I'm struggling as I seem to go on and off depression very often. I don't even know what causes it sometimes but I think it's my social anxiety and lack of good friends mostly..

At the moment I'm living with a room mate/ friend and I am dealing with feeling very down for no reason. I don't want to be in this negative mood around her or anyone else because I feel as though it may ruin my friendships, but I know when I am feeling depressed I get very quiet and moody and it shows!! My friend is very loud and talks a lot so when I'm quiet I feel as if I will impact the friendship in a bad way and she will get sick of me.

I'm very rarely in a great mood - and I don't know what is causing this - if it's lack of close friendships, lack of doing things I enjoy, being in a new city that I'm not sure I like or what. I was feeling okay for a little while because I was starting a relationship with a guy and he really listened and was there for me - but i realised I didn't have proper feelings for him and felt I had to be honest. I now feel completely alone again and I don't feel like I'm connecting with anyone properly. My room mate is becoming a bit much because I feel she doesn't understand I need my space - she wants to drink and go out all the time even when I've said things like I need to do job applications and things - and i feel like its almost my responsibility to keep her entertained. I'm starting to get a bit tired of it and miss living with my parents sometimes because of this 😕

It's not that I don't want to have fun but I just feel like I often need a break from her and we don't even really enjoy doing the same things and she almost always gets her way. Ugh I shouldn't be feeling like this I shouldn't be complaining I should just be trying to enjoy things and have fun I don't know why I can't and why I'm not enjoying things that I should be! It's almost like I'm just not getting what I want ever and I'm constantly just in the background getting swayed by other people.. I really can't take it anymore and don't know what to do 😕 sorry for the long rant 😞

demonblaster · ‎03-03-2018

Hi Missberri welcome ☺

Yeah that sounds tricky your situation with your roomy. I don't think you're being unreasonable needing space esp when you're feeling depressed it can all be a bit much can't it although it can also be good having someone around for distraction, it as you know envelopes us.

It's entirely your call, I think what do you think about telling her how you feel re depression, support and understanding go a long way

If you ever feel like you want to talk to someone and you always have here too the bb phone line is 1300 224636

Do you think talking to your GP could help too. Its very difficult handling this alone

Wishing you well

Take care ☺

geoff · ‎05-03-2018

Hello Missberri, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting your comment.

A dominate room mate may only intensify how you are feeling and if you have been diagnosed with depression, then this is only to make you feel worse.

I had a boarder who was voice stress and wanted me to do things with him and also entertain him in a discussion, that was furthermost from my mind, I had depression and only wanted peace and quiet and to be by myself.

It's not your job to entertain her and to enjoy things that can not be done by her telling you or expecting you follow suit.

A couple of suggestions is there someone who can take over your lease agreement, which means you will have to move somewhere else, maybe back with your parents or a sibling and to contact your doctor to start treatment.

You need a break and hope to hear back from you. Geoff.

Missberri · ‎05-03-2018

Hi Geoff and demonblaster

thanks so much for your responses

i think I will have a talk with my room mate and see how it goes from there. As much as I feel bad about being a bit difficult I don’t feel I moved into this house to have a constant party 😕 like I love going out and having fun but I want to live my life in the way I want without someone having constant expectations that I need to do this or that - at the moment I’m trying really hard to look for a job and she should be as well but she’s more concerned about going out and drinking and spending money that we don’t have which is frustrating for me.

i think I will try set some boundaries but if it doesn’t work I may move somewhere else or move back in with my parents

ive seen a gp today and got a referral to a counsellor so I’m hoping I can get some good advice on the best way to deal with this!

demonblaster · ‎05-03-2018

Hi thanks for letting us know where you're at Missberri glad you've arranged to see a counsellor and that you're going to chat with her.

Good idea the counsellor may have some approaches. I think you're doing the right thing talking to her. All best hope it goes ok.

Good luck with job hunting too ☺