How do I want to get better

[Baileybasil]

All I want to do is waste away and avoid everything I’m afraid of. I’m too anxious to see my friends and family, to talk to a professional in any way, too depressed to get out of bed and make any changes.

even something as simple as practicing mindfulness is impossible for me because I stop myself.

how do I find drive to make any step forward?

[Here2Talk]

I understand Baileybasil... I wonder if you could start real small... You mentioned hygiene and washing your clothes and eating properly. All these things can be incredibly difficult when one has depression. Could you pick one of these things to start doing, maybe the daily things like brushing teeth or showering?

As for being afraid to take steps e.g. a GP Sleepy has a good suggestion of finding the right doctor. Perhaps a female doctor could be more comforting as they're perceived as (and often are) more empathic and easy to open up to? Just a thought

[Baileybasil]

I don’t like myself enough to even do the smallest things I think I need someone to help me hands on because it’s too hard

[Sophie_M]

Hey Baileybasil,

Thank you so much for opening up and keeping the community updated on how you've been feeling. We are so glad to see the wonderful support and advice from our caring members here, and we hope that you continue to find some comfort in knowing you're not alone in this. We're so sorry to hear how low you've been feeling, and that you've been really struggling to do even small things for yourself. It's not an easy thing to be able to open up to others around you including a GP as you mentioned, but we want to reassure you that you are already showing so much strength in being able to post here, which is such an important step.

We hope that you know that extra support is always available whenever you feel ready to talk these feelings through. Perhaps a helpful next step could be to reach out to one of the friendly counsellors at Kids Help Line? They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under, and are availabvle 24/7 on 1800 55 1800, or also through webchat if you'd feel more comfortable talking online: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling We’d also welcome you to reach out to our Beyond Blue Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or also through Webchat (1pm-12am AEST) on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

We hope that you continue to find the courage to keep reaching out, as you deserve support through this difficult time. We're all here for you Baileybasil, and please feel free to keep updating us here whenever you feel ready to.
 

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey there

Sorry you’re struggling so much. I read that journaling is something that you do have a go at. I don’t know how to do it “properly” either, but there’s some things that might help. Being grateful can help us feel less pessimistic. You could write a couple of things each day (even just start with one) that you’re grateful for. Today I’m grateful for my blanket because it’s freezing but I’m warm in bed.

Another is to write about our thoughts. What is the thought that’s bothering me? Is there truth to it? What could be an alternative way of looking at things?

Just some ideas that might help if you’re into writing.

Kind thoughts, Katy

[Guest_1643]

hey Baileybasil,

i'm sorry u feel in pain.
Journalling is a great suggestion. I also find myself personally when i have absolutely no energy for anything, i set very very small tasks for the day - and not related to any accomplishment , but to do with self care

eg have a hot drink, go for a walk. Then u can build on it. I was wandering if there's anything that you like doing...

i like and get pleasure from absolutely nothing except for having a hot drink every day. It's all i have. But it's enough.

[Here2Talk]

We feel your pain baileybasil. Sleepy seems to feel some of the same thing, and perhaps something good I notice in sleepy is the acknowledgement of the self as a worthwhile thing. I wonder if this is something you could start with? You see if you don’t like yourself than it’s unlikely you’re going to want to do anything and if you don’t like to do anything then life stays the same.. I understand that it’s hard to do anything when you literally don’t like yourself. Maybe Katy’s suggestion of journaling is something good. I know you said you have problems with that, but perhaps writing is a way to think about yourself in a way that’s less.... of a put down. Because when you write it can allow you to think more clearly- you can judge what you’re thinking easier when it’s in words compared to just a barrage of negative thoughts racing through your head...

[Baileybasil]

Thanks for trying but I’ve already seen these journaling tactics. I am too lazy to even write in a book. I am just done trying now nothing is helping everything I heard in this thread I didn’t try

[Sophie_M]

Hey BaileyBasil,

We're sorry to hear how distressed you feel at the moment and as though nothing is helping. We would really encourage you to get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/  It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out whenever you're feeling overwhelmed. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

Thanks again for reaching out tonight. 
 

[Guest_1643]

hey bailey basil, i feel a lot the same and don't have much energy for anything, although sometimes i can find only one tiny thing. if you cant do that, that's okay to. maybe writing on the forum is way more than enough for one day, the goals can be very small, anything that keeps you chugging. well done for getting to this point, i know you have resilience and strength beyond to get here.

Hope u are feeling okay given all you are going through

[Baileybasil]

I’m at the end of my rope