How do I tell my parents that I have depression and anxiety

[Sav142025]

How do I tell my parents that I have depression and anxiety I am 14 you have probably read my other post if not I am 14 with very bad depression and anxiety if you have any ideas of how I can tell my parents please say something. Have a better day than me 🫥

[white knight]

Hi, welcome again

Depression and anxiety are serious mental illnesses so I feel for you.

Have you been professionally diagnosed by a specialist? Or how did you find out you have these conditions? I ask because commonly at your age you parents would have taken you to a GP first then a referral doctor.

When one first gets depression or anxiety, it's a learning curve as to what you can cope with and what you cant cope with and have to accept the consequences of the illnesses. You might not ever get rid of depression but anxiety has more of a chance of cure with life changes, maturity, self help like relaxation, calm hobbies and so on.

There's a lot of topics you can cover in "search" too. For example in search type in "the timing of motivation"

Reply anytime 

TonyWK

[therising]

Hi Sav

My heart goes out to you, with you struggling so much at the moment. ❤️

I'm wondering which of your 2 parents is the most feeling and open minded. I'd say that would be the parent to approach. Being a mum to a 23yo daughter and 20yo son, my kids and I can talk with each other easily about a whole variety of things. Their father, on the other hand, has a tendency to shut down certain conversations he's not comfortable with or has little understanding of.

I think being honest and open with the parent who you can feel relates the best could have you start with something along the lines of 'I'm really struggling to manage life right now and I need you to guide and support me'. Be honest with your emotions. For example, if you feel incredibly sad, give yourself the freedom to say 'I feel so incredibly sad and I don't know how to cope with that'. If you feel like crying, don't try to hold that back. Express it in order to give your parent a true and full understanding of how you're feeling right now. You could also try adding 'If you're not sure how to help me manage can you find someone who can help me manage'. 

I believe it doesn't matter what age our child is, whether they're 14 or 40, as parents we're their guides in life. It can work the other way too. My kids are also brilliant guides for me at certain times. It's not always easy to find our way through life on our own and sometimes we're just no meant to go it alone. I'm so glad you came here, so that you can find someone to walk your path with you a little while hopefully shedding some light on it. 

Feel free to return here anytime, whether it be to have a vent, make greater sense of your emotions, express your progress or for any other reason. ❤️🤗

[Sav142025]

So how should I tell them

[Picture]

Hello - you could say that you have something important you need to discuss with them and then say you think you have bad anxiety and depression and would like to see a GP to get it addressed.

If you think this is too hard to directly address it, you could make an appointment to see the school psychologist/chaplin/nurse and let them know and ask them to raise it with your parents.

[trying_my_best]

Hi! 
When I was a teenager I went through a similar similar period in my life where I experienced depression and anxiety, and I get how isolating it can feel. But the fact that you are wanting to tell your parents is commendable! Telling my parents was the best thing I could do at the time as they helped me to get help. 

In my experience there isn’t really an easy way to tell them! But I knew if I didn’t that things would only get worse. I like to think of it like ripping off a bandaid, once you tell them things can only get better. 

I hope things get better for you 🫶

[Psychdiaries2]

Hello, 

I am so sorry to hear what you’re going through. I was also 14 when I first started struggling with depression and anxiety, so I understand how rough it can be. I remember I sat my mum down and told her I had something to share with her. There’s honestly no easy way to do it, you just need to find a quiet time to share. I hope that your parents will give you all the love and support that you deserve. It may come as quite a shock to them but I hope you will feel relieved once you confide in them. Hopefully you can also talk with them about what the next steps are like discovering what you can do to feel better.

Sending love to you!

[Guest_06261655]

hi i am in a similar boat as you i have gotten back into self-harm but whenever I ask for help my mum calls it attention seeking and narcissistic behavior i need to have an open conversation with her but whenever i try she gets annoyed at me and says im just trying to manipulate her i don't know what to do but i support you   

[therising]

Hi Sav

I think how we tell someone close to us what we're feeling can sometimes depend on what they can relate to. This way, what you're saying becomes relatable. It could be something along the lines of 'Mum/Dad, do you ever remember a time where you felt really lost in life and you felt alone in trying to work out how to manage your feelings and everything?'. Give them a chance to recall such a time. You could then say 'Even though our circumstances are different, that's how I feel right now and I need you to help me. Was there anyone who helped you at that time?'. This could jog their memory in regard to considering how much of a difference someone made to them and how your Mum/Dad could be the person to make that difference to you. You could apply this to a number of emotions or feelings: 'Do you ever remember a time where you felt so sad you just couldn't handle it on your own?' or 'Do you ever remember a time where you felt so stressed or anxious to the point where you didn't know how to manage on your own?'. 

I think one of the worst things a person can do, especially when talking with a younger person, is say 'We all go through that' or 'Everyone goes through that' and then they leave that person to manage their challenges alone. Not only is this dismissive, it's also ignorant. Such a person is ignoring how everyone is so unique and how no two people experience similar challenges in exactly the same way. They mentally process certain aspects differently, the feel them to different degrees, they manage them differently depending on experience, ability or skill level. To say 'Everyone goes through that' is simply not entirely true because of the differences we experience.

I think, above all else, the most important thing to say to a person whose support we need is 'I can't manage what I'm facing alone. I need your help'. Whether this is the opening line to open up a discussion or it is part of what we're saying, it's vital to state the most important thing and that is that we can't manage alone. ❤️