Hello needing to vent.

[Chloekat84]

Ive had the worst day ever today. I didn't get to sleep till after 1pm as I was up watching a movies and drinking after my daughter went to sleep. I woke up feeling like I had no sleep and took my daughter to childcare. I thought if I came home without the responsibility of looking after my daughter that I could go back to sleep but I was wrong. Ive had really bad restless legs and couldn't calm down at all 😞 and been nauseated as well. Ive been so depressed all day and don't know how ill be able to calm myself down tonight. my daughter doesn't go back to childcare until Friday so not sure how ill get through the week. Im going to try a bath and see how that goes but not sure. my daughter is still awake and its often hard to get her to bed at night as she resists. Just haven't had a good day today and not sure how to get my depression under control. I take anti depressants and have borderline personality and dysthymia 😞 advice would help.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Chloe

May I ask how old your daughter is?    And the child resistance to going to bed or going to sleep – oh boy, we had that big time with our first – it was an ongoing battle for a long long time – in fact he’s 17 and I think we’ve pretty much given up now.    So we focussed on our second and she’s been a dream since the get go, so much so, that if we had her first, we probably would have had 7 or 8 kids;  but nope, just the two.   Whoops, slight digression there.

I think the thing is routine and keep things going to the same level as you possibly can.   Have the set time for bed and keep to that – at least during the week, we kind of relaxed rules a bit come the weekend – but again, it all depends on the age of your young one.

I could write more, but I don’t want to be writing stuff that you already know and already do.

From what I’ve read, and pardon me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like you’re a single mum – as you’ve written that it’s all you and your daughter, which I’d imagine would make it even more difficult and stressful for you.

I do hope the bath was a good thing for you – and I’ve heard that putting Epsom salts in a bath can provide even a more soothing and even an uplifting kind of well-being experience.

I know I’ve rambled and waffled a bit, but hopefully you found a few words in amongst the above to be useful.   Would also love to hear back from you.

Kind regards

Neil

[Chloekat84]

Hey Neil.

Yes I did find it helpful and I am a single mum which makes it tougher when I don't have much family support. My daughter will be 3 on August 5th so shes at a difficult age. She refuses most nights when I mention bed and it takes her a while to fall asleep as she constantly walks out of her room like its a game. theres always an excuse to stay up like food etc. She often doesn't nap during the day as well. Im lucky if she does. I try and have a routine but often im too tired to bath her so that doesn't happen every day. This is what im dealing with.

[Neil_1]

Hi Chloekat

Thanx heaps for your latest response.

Thought I’d start with a slight light-hearted response before the more serious stuff.

A young child yells from the bedroom, “I want a drink of water”.

The response from the father is, “No and go to sleep”.

5 minutes later, the same happens.

Another 10 mins goes by and the same, but the father adds in, “If you yell out again, I’m going to come in and smack you”.

To which the child responds with:

“Hey Dad, on your way in, can you bring me a drink of water?”

I know it must be difficult and very hard to manage, so it’s so hard for me to give comments advice on this situation.

I know having a nice bath can be a relaxing time – well I hope it is for a child as well – and the less stimulation around that time of evening/night, obviously the better;   then when it came to bed time, there’d be either one or sometimes two little books that were to be read to them – and then from there it was time to snuggle down.

We usually kept the hall light on, so they weren’t plunged into a dark room.

I just wonder if there may be somewhere in google that you could search for advice with sleeping patterns for a youngster and what methods others may have employed to assist?

Kind regards

Neil

[Chloekat84]

Hello Neil.

Its got to the point where im going mental here from hurting her except a light smack on the hand. I feel like a failure as a mother and cant keep doing this :'( I feel sorry for her because she cant explain what she wants and when I can understand whether it be food or drink shes had it already so im sick of the escaping from the room. I ad a few glasses of wine tonight hoping it would calm me down but hasn't. I just feel nauseated and cant stop crying. I just don't know where to get help anymore 😞 Im really struggling. 


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[Jacko777]

Hi Chloekat84,

Hey hang in there mate, have you got any things that have helped you find some calmness in the past like breathing exercises, music, meditation, exercise?

Have you got anyone that can visit for a while? Remember you can ring the BB phone service any time, they would have some good advice for you.

I know with my son, he had a lot of trouble sleeping and we went and got help, it was CAHFS back then about 6 years ago, they were great. With our fella it was nearly always the basic problems, he needed to eat, go to the toilet, had wind or needed sleep. Which all came out as Waaaaaa!!! It's a circus!

Love to you.

Jack

[Chloekat84]

Hey Jacko777

Yes I have seen a cafhs nurse in the past as I had sleep issues with my daughter and went to a sleep clinic but that's only up until the age of 1 so not sure what they could do for me now but my doctor has written a referral letter to see a paediatrician so hopefully he/she can help. Thank you for advice.

[Neil_1]

Hi there Chloekat84

I’m sorry to hear that things are still pretty average for you of a night-time with your daughter.

What is very pleasing to read is that you’ve got a referral to see a paediatrician and I really have my fingers crossed for you that you’ll find some great benefits and hints and tips for you.

Kind regards

Neil