The depression has got much deeper. I'm now utterly exhausted and feeling hopeless and so so tired - not just physically but mentally and re trying. I'm still going to try but I don't want to get out of bed now. I can't function or think and have slept these last few days day and night waking for short periods.I don't want to wake up - I just want to sleep and stop. Stop trying. (No - I'm not suicidal but it is very dark). I get energy and start positive things for a time and then it all gets sucked away by this extreme tiredness.
Oh no sounds a terrible placed to be in. Ive been there. and the only thing to help me out of it was a talk to my GP and starting meds. I was soo tired, too tired to wash my hair.
but you are on meds aren't you?sounds like u hit rockbottom.
If u can drag yourself outside, sunshine vit d and vit B plus iron helps to boost your bodies resources too
Ill sent you some sun and good vibes from up north
i'm sorry to read you're struggling. I wish I could help you. So I am sending you a big warm hug., I agree with Beetle, even if you could just go outside for a few minutes, get some sunshine I'm sure you will feel a little better.
Hi Beetle, Jo and Neil,
Thank you for your kind responses and hugs to all of you!
Yes, it has hit a bad place. I had the most massive panic attack in my car
(which never happens in my car especially just in my local town). Felt like
screaming for someone to lock me up in a psych ward, then hyperventilated and a
friend just held my hand and kept telling me it was all right. Went to the
doctors to check my blood pressure as was at stroke level a few weeks ago. (And
it was fine – I had run out of meds for a few days at the time it was really
high. Note to anyone on high blood pressure pills – don’t miss taking them).
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that there was a new doctor who took my
blood pressure which was a little high but fine – safe range. He was so lovely.
I spoke to the front desk and they asked me what I thought of him and said he
was so lovely. This surgery is supporting me fully so I asked if I could just
pop in and ask him whether he believes depression is a real illness. He does
and was lovely and I am seeing him tomorrow to look at changing my medication.
Apparently what I am on can aggravate insomnia which I have had for many years.
I have been on this drug for 15 years. And no, it is not working.
Thank you all for your support. I am feeling optimistic.
Any minute or hour, I will be running out of megabytes
for just over a fortnight – only 40mb left. So if I don’t get to respond just
yet that is why.
Cheers
Suz xx
