Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

Lisado Lost the plot last night
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Last night I lost the plot . Had nothing to eat for 2 days, had too much wine , fight with my hubby for " not understanding" he does but he keeps it to himself and I am mean about it. So I took some pills. More to show him I'm at the depths of dispai... View more

Last night I lost the plot . Had nothing to eat for 2 days, had too much wine , fight with my hubby for " not understanding" he does but he keeps it to himself and I am mean about it. So I took some pills. More to show him I'm at the depths of dispair. It was silly off. I seem to be doing so mAny things which are out of character for me. i was very sick all night and feel dreadful now. Going to book counsellor for first time but I feel scared and I'm a huge failure if wife and mother . lisa

Arian Anyone else out there
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Hi all This is my first time posting here. About 12 months ago I went to my doctor because I felt like I just wasn't coping with life and the smallest things set me off crying. He asked how long I had felt like that and I said a couple of months but ... View more

Hi all This is my first time posting here. About 12 months ago I went to my doctor because I felt like I just wasn't coping with life and the smallest things set me off crying. He asked how long I had felt like that and I said a couple of months but he suggested it had been much longer than that. A year later I understand that he is right, feelings of hopelessness and sadness are things I have dealt with for many years. Found it hard talking to a psychologist, was never encouraged to talk about feelings when I was young and really struggle to articulate them now as an adult. Been on anti-depressants 12 months and dose just been upped recently so feeling a bit better but find that i just want to scream sometimes because I feel constantly weighed down and havent resolved anything. I have been reading stories and forums on here but I find it hard to relate. I am a single 34 year old female with no dependents and never been in a serious relationship. Most posts by females seem to be young or older and married and with children and a lot of their issues seem to come from those relationships. I also dont think i have had a dramatic life event which has caused these feelings. Is there anyone else out there whose experience is similar? Thanks

hobbitmomma losing my mind?
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ok here goes I am hoping that by writing this down it will all become either much clearer or just disappear into thin air - don't hold out much hope of either happening. I am off work due to stress caused by the attitude of my manageress, fighting wh... View more

ok here goes I am hoping that by writing this down it will all become either much clearer or just disappear into thin air - don't hold out much hope of either happening. I am off work due to stress caused by the attitude of my manageress, fighting what appears to be an endless battle with workcover, 12000 miles from my family, live in a very remote outback town in south australia, live by myself and am feeling so low it hurts. I cannot see a way out of the mess my life is in right now - and I don't think anyone realises how bad it has become. My days seem endless - not just boring but pointless, I cry for no reason, feel suicidal a lot of the time, only am too scared to do anything about it - that seems really stupid I know but it is how i feel. Most of the time I feel l am going crazy by degrees - I have had panic attacks when out and am now too scared to do that unless I have someone with me - that is not always possible so I tend to stay in a lot. I want my life back - I want to go back to where none of this was happening and where I felt if not in total control , at least in partial control. Sorry if this sounds like the rambling of a mad woman but I think I need help and am afraid to ask for it in case I am told to go away ans stop being silly.

SirLanky why is it so hard?
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I just started working in a telecommunications call centre. Ive been unemployed for 2 years. I need the money from this fulltime job. But im not coping. Out of 5 weeks ive had almost 2 weeks off. I just feel like crawling in a hole and dying. I feel ... View more

I just started working in a telecommunications call centre. Ive been unemployed for 2 years. I need the money from this fulltime job. But im not coping. Out of 5 weeks ive had almost 2 weeks off. I just feel like crawling in a hole and dying. I feel like a complete failure. I dunno what to do. I just cant cope. I hate leaving the house. My wife is supportive but she just doesnt understand.

MaryG New
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Hi everyone, I have read quite a few posts now and I can see there is a lot of support out there. I am new to this label of depression but I realise now that at 47 years of age I have suffered for most of my life. I just didn't have a name for it. It... View more

Hi everyone, I have read quite a few posts now and I can see there is a lot of support out there. I am new to this label of depression but I realise now that at 47 years of age I have suffered for most of my life. I just didn't have a name for it. It took a death of someone very close to me and some other huge life upheavals to break down my defence against it...and I haven't been coping that well for a couple of years now. I am at it's mercy. One thing I can't get my head around is how I can feel good one day and then crash and burn so badly the next. I don't get how my family and friends can suddenly mean nothing to me and how I could even consider ending my life. But there are days and weeks when I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Alcohol is a problem for me and I know it's bad and I can go without for a while but then I'm back on it and the whole guilt thing kicks in with the deceit and hiding it from everyone. I just want to feel good. I read a book recently and the author described the voices in her head as the depression talking. It made total sense to me but I had never thought of it that way before. When they tell me I'm not good enough, or I'm stupid or I'm ugly....its not true, its just the depression. The black dog. This has helped a little. The weird thing is I have positive voices too. I mentioned it to my husband once and said that the voice in my head was pushing me on and telling me I could keep running and not to quit (I was running in a race) He didn't know what I was talking about. He has no voices...positive or negative. Am I the weird one? I am working in a foreign country for the next couple of weeks. I crave the solitude, but it's not good for me. The hotel room is quiet and gives my mind too much space. Those negative voices came with me and the vodka is very cheap here. Not sure why I am writing this...other than I think I need some help.

RayS just feel like it's punishment!
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I've been dealing with manic depression since I was first diagnosed over 20 years back. I do the right thing and take the meds, as best as possible keep a positive attitude in front of others, try to look at life as a glass half full adventure and ba... View more

I've been dealing with manic depression since I was first diagnosed over 20 years back. I do the right thing and take the meds, as best as possible keep a positive attitude in front of others, try to look at life as a glass half full adventure and basically take things as they come. I've managed the condition for so long it just feels like part of my "normal" existence. Life throws the odd curve ball at me, my psych's wife being diagnosed with and subsequently from cancer a year after I started seeing him, mum dying of cancer a few years back, my mother-in-law (whom I loved very much) taking her own life a year later, my wife's battle with her own depression and anxiety following her mum's passing, me living with severe chronic RA....the sought of things most people have to deal with at some point in their lives. I've handled it all, and kept plugging. There have been times when the depression has swung in and hit me full face, but I've always worked through it. I always felt I could take whatever it threw at me as long as I felt I could fight. And then, two weeks ago, my wife of 8 years is diagnosed with a potentially life threatening condition following one of those "routine" checks that women have. She's handled the news so much better than I have. All of a sudden that damn mongrel black dog is turning feral on me and I'm back where I was when this lousy thing first started. I feel like I'm being punished for something I don't understand and that in turn makes me feel so damn selfish when my wife needs my support more than at any time in our lives together. I know I'm not the first bloke to have faced this, so I guess all I'm looking for here is some positive feedback. Have you been through this sort of thing? How did you handle it? Increased meds? Therapy? Faith? I'm not at all suicidal. Just.....lost.

adamsmith720 It's all coming back
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Hey all, didn't know where else to turn to with this stuff. Things just haven't been going too right lately. Will try and water this down so not to go into too much detail but that might be hard. Firstly I have suffered through depression, anxiety an... View more

Hey all, didn't know where else to turn to with this stuff. Things just haven't been going too right lately. Will try and water this down so not to go into too much detail but that might be hard. Firstly I have suffered through depression, anxiety and mild bipolar since I was around 17. Things turned bad when I was 18, with various incidents leading to self harm, cutting and eventually suicide attempts. I was medicated and things eventually calmed down and things seemed to be 'healed'. In saying that, it was always 'there', but I managed it. I'm now 26, and earlier this year things started to rear their head again. I got a full time job that was unrelated to my ideal career and I was forced into leaving it in the second week due to severe anxiety and panic attacks. This happened about 12 months ago as well in another job, but at that stage I thought it was an isolated incident. I put a lot of pressure on myself to reach my dream job, and given I have been graduated for 2 years now without getting a job on my degree, it's been stressful. There is a long story related to my work issues, but that's not the main issue I'm posting here today. My anxiety attacks lead me to go back to the doctor for my issues for the first time in 8 years, where I prescribed anti-depressants and recommended for a psychologist. Initially I felt as though she helped, but in the end it was hard to tell given I had left my job and that at the time was the only real issue. The anti-depressants I was on also affected me badly more so than good, with various mental issues and other physical side effects. My GP recommended I go off them which I did. Things seemed to be just sitting at a 'normal' level. Recently though this has changed when it has come to my mental well being and emotions. I should mention I have been in a long term relationship for a while now, but recently my feelings for my partner seem to be diminishing. I recently met another person who I have connected with online quite a bit, we chat pretty much every day and have become very good friends. We have met in person and basically I feel as though she has become one of, if not my closest friend since I've gotten to know her. Gradually I found myself having feelings for her, and eventually really discovered that I was in fact in love with her. This has then diminished my feelings for my current partner where I'm not sure if I am in love with her still. Things with this other girl were just going fine, I wasn't going to tell her my true feelings as past experiences had always gone bad for me in that case (related to my previous bouts of depression when I was 17/8) and there was no need for me to say anything. Things came to a head recently though when a conversation basically made the 'truth' come out in that she found out that I liked her. Since that night, things did turn a little weird, and then it amounted into a couple of days of non talking. In these last few days I literally haven't stopped thinking of her every single second, I have a knot tied in my body that I can't shake and I was literally obsessing, checking to see if she was online and then waiting for her to message me. We went 2 days without talking which basically was the longest I had gone given we had literally talked every day for over 2 months. It was killing me. I was trying to not go out of my way to message her and 'give her space' but I caved tonight and messaged her. Things were fine, we were joking around like old times but I asked if we were 'cool' and she basically fobbed it off and asked me not to ask things like that. I then asked if she wanted to Skype which she said yes, before coming back and making up an excuse that she couldn't. Long story short...I know that by me admitting to a 'crush' on her (which is all she thinks at this stage), things have gotten weird. And basically the whole point of me spilling this out is that I just can't shake these feelings and it's killing me. So badly, I can't function on a day to day level and I feel urges coming back inside of me that I had back when I was younger and it scares me. It does. I know the option is to seek help but honestly that hasn't helped me in the past and I just don't see it helping this time. I feel as though maybe I should give the anti-depressants another go (I still have the packet and script for refills) to see if they work now that I actually have issues. I also just am so goddamn lonely that I just need people to talk to. Another part of everything that is building up is that all of the people close to me in my life have left interstate or overseas so I literally have to troll the internet for intervention that never comes. I know I'm a 'desperate' person so to speak when it comes to attention and that i'm 'needy' but this is just such a terrible situation that I'm in right now that I just don't know what to do. It's taken a lot of courage for me to post on here and I feel as though I'm only telling part of the story, and even then it's way too damn long. It would just be great to meet people to chat to through this experience to try and help me get through it. Any help would be greatly appreciated

CatherineD Not sure how to feel anymore.
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I'm a 17 year old girl and i've been depressed since i was 11. I was bullied when I was little about my appearance which is something i can not change. Ever since the bullying happened i've always been self conscience about the way i look. The bullyi... View more

I'm a 17 year old girl and i've been depressed since i was 11. I was bullied when I was little about my appearance which is something i can not change. Ever since the bullying happened i've always been self conscience about the way i look. The bullying affected me in so many ways I would cry every day and it got to the point where i self harmed a few times. The bullying stopped at the age of 13 but the pain and memories were still there. For a few years i just wasn't the same, through those years i went through bad friendships and fights with family that made me feel even worse. I left school at the age of 15 and lost so many friends and was having health issues. I turned to self harm again and isolated myself from the few friends i had left. At 16 I had an ultra sound and was put on diane 35 pills to see if it could help me with my health. I am now 17 and i've stopped hurting myself because it makes me feel twice as hopeless. I'm off diane 35 pills it didn't help me, I have polycystic ovary syndrome which basically means I have a high chance of not being able to get pregnant when i'm older. Hearing that news broke me into a million pieces because all i've ever wanted was my own child to give my all to. I don't get my monthly's anymore which has heightened my chance of not being pregnant. I've pushed away all my friends and I isolate myself now from everyone. I feel so numb but at the same time I feel so angry and suicidal. I don't know what to do right now.

amamas light at the end of the tunnel?
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Does it exist? I feel like I've been walking for an eternity trying to find the end of this dark place and I'm beginning to wonder if there is an end. I'd love to hear from anyone that has made it out and managed to stay out. Thanks heaps

Does it exist? I feel like I've been walking for an eternity trying to find the end of this dark place and I'm beginning to wonder if there is an end. I'd love to hear from anyone that has made it out and managed to stay out. Thanks heaps

Helpme i don't feel like i can tell anyone i'm struggling
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i'm in year 11 at school and went through a really rough year in year 9 in which i now realise that i had depression. everyday on my way to school i would think about ending my life . however, i felt like i was a coward for being unable to actually d... View more

i'm in year 11 at school and went through a really rough year in year 9 in which i now realise that i had depression. everyday on my way to school i would think about ending my life . however, i felt like i was a coward for being unable to actually do it and for doubting if I would actually die. after struggling with these thoughts for over a year without talking to anyone or getting any help, i felt like i started to get better and become more happy with my life, but not back to the standard it was before it all happened. (it wasn't until that time that i realised i might have been suffering from depression or some sort of mental illness) over the past year i have continued to struggle with thoughts of hurting myself, but not to the extent as when it started, and i feel like i'm starting to get bad again. i want to get help but i don't know how. i attempted opening up to my brother and telling him i was struggling which felt really good, however in the following days he revealed to my parents that he was suffering from depression and went and got help immediately. since then my mum has made comments to me about how he 'did it to himself' and blames herself for it happening. now i don't feel like i can tell her because i don't want to cause her any more pain than she already feels about what has happened to my brother. i also don't want anyone's pity or sympathy. as soon as people reveal that they suffer from mental (or other) illnesses, they are viewed in a different light and treated as 'damaged'... i already feel self conscious about myself and people knowing these things about me i feel would cause me to hide away even more from the world. im 17 and too lazy or maybe too scared to go to the doctors by myself. i keep using the excuse that i don't have the time to go see a professional but i can''t keep up this act that i call my life anymore. i could crack beyond repair at any moment and i need to get help before it's too late... before i hurt myself for real and not just in my imagination. PLEASE: Help Me...