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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lizlonely Beautiful day but it just makes me feel more depressed
  • replies: 4

It's a Saturday and the weather is amazing but I just feel so much worse because of it. I am 31 years old, morbidly obese, have no friends and have never had a boyfriend. I live with this constant crushing loneliness and depression. Most days I can p... View more

It's a Saturday and the weather is amazing but I just feel so much worse because of it. I am 31 years old, morbidly obese, have no friends and have never had a boyfriend. I live with this constant crushing loneliness and depression. Most days I can push through it, get up and go to work and smile and make small talk but when days like this come around I am just reminded so vividly of what I don't have but long to be a part of. I see all these couples and groups of people out enjoying the sunshine and participating in activities that many take for granted and that seem so insignificant to most people but would mean the world to me to be able to be a part of. I want to go out and enjoy the day but I have no one to do it with and nothing really to do. I am in so much pain right now and am not sure that I see a way out of it. I have massive social anxiety and am not able to connect with people at all other than superficially (like at work). I am close to my mum but feel like such a loser about the fact that spending Saturday night with my parents is my only other option other than spending it at home in my bedroom alone. i want friends and love and kids (someday) just like everyone else but don't see a way out of the vicious cycle of sadness that I am stuck in. I can honestly say that if I weren't here i don't think anyone apart from my parents and brother would really be any worse off for it. I would barely be a blip on the radar of the other people in my life if i were to take myself from this world. I don't have any specific thoughts or plans to commit suicide but that thought alone scares me to death. Not sure what it is that I am holding on for. My mum and my brother are both incredibly charismatic, life of the party types and they really don't understand even a little bit what is so hard about making friends. They keep making suggestions that show just how little they 'get' what I am going through. I can see they are desperate to help but it just ends up making me feel even more isolated that even the people who are closest to me and the only 'friends' that I have don't understand how much pain I am in. I was seeing a psychologist for about a year and she helped a little but was so expensive I really couldn't keep it up, plus nothing really changed for me while I was seeing her. I still had no friends, no love, no social life at all. the only benefit I could tell was the fact that I had someone to share my pain with who wouldn't nod and say they understood when really they had no idea. I am thinking maybe medication might help but have no idea how to go about finding out about it or getting started on it. Do I have to find a good GP first, how do I do that. I went to see one locally just after I moved in March and told him that I was scared because I was having thoughts of a suicidal nature and he just filled me out a mental health plan (without asking me any questions about what I was experiencing) and then walked me out to the front desk where he told the receptionist in front of a waiting room full of people to book me in to see their psychologist. Turns out the psychologist only worked 9-5 and didnt have an appointment for over a month anyway so I didn't even bother. there was no follow up from the GP at all and I was left feeling so alone and unsupported. I am in a really dark place and am so unsure where to turn to get help or understanding. I want to live my life rather than endure it!

Butterflies I just want to make it stop
  • replies: 1

I'm running out of ideas....I was diagnosed with depression when I was about 16 and have been of and on medication since. I have seen three psychologists and one counsellor. I have almost completely cut out alcohol and try to meditate but am not very... View more

I'm running out of ideas....I was diagnosed with depression when I was about 16 and have been of and on medication since. I have seen three psychologists and one counsellor. I have almost completely cut out alcohol and try to meditate but am not very good at it- the anxiety state I am often in is probably the main barrier. See whenever I stop and just 'be' I sink into this intense state of self loathing were I tell myself I am useless and a waste of time. I often fantasise about how nice it would be to just put an end to my life. I don't think I'll ever act on this, but probably more for the fear of what it would do to my mum more then anything. I think a lot of my struggle to find self worth and meaning stems from my dad leaving when I was 3. I guess the message I got from that is that I'm not worth anything and reacted by trying to be perfect so that I would protect myself from being hurt again. The problem is I am only human, so now I am 30- I am fit, attractive, have a masters and bachelor and a great job and a house and compete in triathalons and...... It's not enough. I feel like I am broken inside. I feel like the only time I feel worthwhile is when I am helping others- which is lucky because I do that every day in my job, but on days like today when I'm not working, but alone in my home with no one but my dog I fall into trouble. I am so sick and tired of this. I am angry with myself because I have travelled the world and have seen how some people live- how dare I feel like I have a hard life when there are people living in poverty. I feel like I am broken inside. my brother died suddenly while working away on a mine site ten years ago- he was my confidant, he went through my childhood with me and living with my mum who suffered anxiety her whole life.... His understanding of me/us and our life path was so valuable- someone who truly understood me. He's gone. I want to,go too.

Benjamin-Theodore Do I need help?
  • replies: 2

Hello, so after a very difficult last few weeks I thought I should seek advice... I am a 2nd year engineering student at university, with a loving family, a loving church, and I am a Christian! I really shouldn't have any reason to feel 'down' or sad... View more

Hello, so after a very difficult last few weeks I thought I should seek advice... I am a 2nd year engineering student at university, with a loving family, a loving church, and I am a Christian! I really shouldn't have any reason to feel 'down' or sad at all... it almost makes me feel guilty that I feel 'down' so often! Allright well I went from a small school to a big university and I have felt alone for the majority of my time at uni. I spend most of my time travelling to and from uni alone, sitting in the back of lecture theatres alone, spending breaks alone, and then coming home and being in my room alone. Recently I have been losing the will to even go to uni (missed a week or two), which leads to stressing about the course and inevitably being anxious, 'down', lonely, and feeling helpless. I have no direction in my life and no energy to think or change anything... I have resorted to watching tv shows (the Office, friends, how I met your mother) and reading Harry Potter to escape and 'live someone's elses life' - not have to think about my own life. I have kept this to myself for the past 2 years (although I've been feeling down most through high school as well) and was wondering if I need to be concerned? Do I need to talk to someone about this?

Beetle Newly diagnosed. so ashamed.so embarrased
  • replies: 7

Hi all After 3 years of struggling i finaly went to my GP and confessed that i need serious help.I wrote on a piece of paper that i felt suicidal and cant get on like it is. I passed her the piece of paper since i was too ashamed to say it out load.I... View more

Hi all After 3 years of struggling i finaly went to my GP and confessed that i need serious help.I wrote on a piece of paper that i felt suicidal and cant get on like it is. I passed her the piece of paper since i was too ashamed to say it out load.I felt like a failure,like giving up and rolling on my back in admitting that something is not right. She diganosed me with severe depresssion,anxiety and stress after i scored very high on this DASS scale. I just cried and said if i can do this test again and just pretend im a 1 or 0. Anyway she put me on a heavy antidepressant and i hope that stuff works. I had all side effects on the list and felt terrible after the first dose. I called her and said i cant do it. now i halved the dose and hope it will b ok. she told me off having waitted so long to get help and that there is nothing to be ashamed off.she took 40 min with me and the waiting room was full. I think she does care and i felt well looked after. Well in my mind it is a weakness. I feel i havent tried hard enough and failed.I got told i have to change my mindset. She explaiemnd that since im severy stressed that all the chemicals in my brain are used up and thats why the depression developed. That made me feel better. that made me feel its not only in my head, but its a chemical deficiency like calcium deficiency or aneamia. Now i have to come to terms with my diagnosises. Thats hard. I cant confess to my friends and won't confess at work. First i have to confess up to myself that I am one of those people with depression and anxiety being on happy drugs. ...... Tina

TryingHardToStand I try hard, but maybe it's just a waste of time
  • replies: 2

I've suffered with depression, anxiety & a nervous breakdown, eating disorders, alcoholism, and emotionally abusive relationships and family for a very long time. I've worked so hard to get my life on track, and I can tell how far I've come in recent... View more

I've suffered with depression, anxiety & a nervous breakdown, eating disorders, alcoholism, and emotionally abusive relationships and family for a very long time. I've worked so hard to get my life on track, and I can tell how far I've come in recent years, but I still struggle on a day to day basis just trying to feel like I'm normal - and trying to understand what "normal" is. All too often I feel like I've tried for nothing; it's as if I am under some kind of delusion that I'm worth the work, and I keep getting a flash of what the real world is like and acting strong again is just me being in denial about how much of a lost cause I am. At the moment I'm on medication, regularly seeing a psychiatrist & my GP, and I'm on only a few days of work a week. I'll also have been two years sober in a few weeks. I can be quite a cheerful person, and I can also be positive and helpful towards other people. It's just so difficult to feel like I'm worth all the time and effort my doctors have put in, and I never really feel as though I fit in around others - I have no close friends, no matter how hard I try. I look at my life and it's as if the real world is all around me and I'm the fake one by trying to be a part of it. I didn't really know where I could talk about this. Dave

blackholebegone managing highs and lows
  • replies: 8

In May I was admitted into hospital with Severe Depression. This was my first ever admission and was discharged after a long hard 9 weeks. Since being home I seem to have some really good days, then suddenly start getting ferlings of sadness, insomni... View more

In May I was admitted into hospital with Severe Depression. This was my first ever admission and was discharged after a long hard 9 weeks. Since being home I seem to have some really good days, then suddenly start getting ferlings of sadness, insomnia, and feeling worthless. Workcover is now looking at a return to work project and I am so worried at what will happen when one day I am coping and the next plotting my death. Do others experience these highs and lows, and how do manage day to day.

Essy Do I actually feel this way?
  • replies: 4

In my course we learn a lot about mental illness so I would say I have a quite thorough knowledge. For a long time I have known I am a little bit different but learning specifics about all the illnesses concreted my belief that I had mental health is... View more

In my course we learn a lot about mental illness so I would say I have a quite thorough knowledge. For a long time I have known I am a little bit different but learning specifics about all the illnesses concreted my belief that I had mental health issues. Now I'm at the point where I am considering getting help but starting to question whether I actually feel the way I think I do or if it is based on what I have heard and I am simply trying to categorize myself to try and make sense of my "differentness". what if I'm not sick and I am just wasting everyone's time.

robynmary How can apathy and frustration by my constant companions?
  • replies: 4

hello new friends, I lost my georgeous father in April 2011 to the sinister disease - Alzheimers. have been on antidepressents for years and still just don't care enough about what I used to care about. I don't care about paying my bills. I don't car... View more

hello new friends, I lost my georgeous father in April 2011 to the sinister disease - Alzheimers. have been on antidepressents for years and still just don't care enough about what I used to care about. I don't care about paying my bills. I don't care about my house, my car, my stupid useless possessions. I don't care if the people I work with give a hoot about who i am or what i do or whether i am happy or sad or neutral. i don't care about looking after myself healthwise. i don't care about the fact that i can't climb out of my cave of sadness.... i think i like it here... i think maybe i deserve to be here. the world no longer makes sense to me. i do care about my son and my mother and my brothers and my mum. i care more about them than i do about me, and I know that's not healthy. I haven't felt excitement, joy, surprise or any such emotions for years since my father became sick - my main emotional companions these last 2 years have been anger, frustration, with apathy dragging his ass not far behind. okay, so i just let my feelings type themselves out then... i sound scary is there anyone out there who, like me, is finding it so hard to move on from loosing a loved one to Alzheimers?????? people who have known me for a long time tell me I am not the happy, quit-witted fun person I used to be. i know.. i miss her, too.. Robynmary

Lassi Not trusting the advice
  • replies: 18

Hi my husband has recently been diagnosed with clinical or severe depression. He has been under extreme pressure at work and financially for years and since around the beginning of this year he seemed to become more and more overwhelmed. Then in more... View more

Hi my husband has recently been diagnosed with clinical or severe depression. He has been under extreme pressure at work and financially for years and since around the beginning of this year he seemed to become more and more overwhelmed. Then in more recent months he strated avoiding coming home and withdrawing from me and our kids. We could not get hold of him as easily as before - he was always at work day and night, stopped responding to calls, messages and emails. Then he spent 6 weeks interstate and overseas - normally he would return between trips even if just for a few days to be with us but this time he didn't. Upon his return about a month ago he left after a few short hours of being home - overwhelmed. He never returned home. After spending an entire day working from a local park bench (unable to enter his office) he finally accepted my help to find him a psychologist and to see a GP for underlying health issues that might cause depression. I understand he is currently on medication and seeing his psychologist weekly. I am also seeing the same psychologist to help me get through this difficult time - we were supposed to attend together so that I could have the best chance of understanding what what going on but at his first session with me he clammed up and I had to leave the room so that he could open up. When I was brought back in I was informed that my husband would be leaving the home for a month to clear his head. I was also informed that therapy would continue for both of us but not together and that he would maintain contact with 1 weekly phone call to say hi to me and the kids. He has been gone the full month now with no signs of returning and the phone calls have not really been happening. I suddenly find myself alone, confused and quite in the dark. The phsycologist keeps reminding me that he is likely to be gone for much longer than the prescribed month and that he'll need lots of time. That I should just leave him alone until/if he decides to make contact and that once he is able to think and feel again that then we might then be able to work on the marriage (he has questioned whether he would rather be alone than continue with our family). I feel completely helpless and after such a long separation and distance (viturally no communication apart from financial matters) I am startting to feel that I am not even able to enquire about his health. It feels like we are divorced and I have no claim to my husband anymore or him to me. This does not seem right to me and I am really worried that this lack of contact is detrimental to him and potentially to our family. Our 3 year old daughter asks for him daily and questions why he is working away for so long. He is severly depressed, working alone and living alone 24/7. I am not to call him or SMS him about anything personal - not even to ask how he is going or to tell him I love him or miss him or to send him a picture of the kids. This all seems quite strange to me, would have been unimaginable for our relationship just 6 months ago and conflicts other advice I have been given which was to never leave him isolated and alone. Just looking for some feedback. I don't force myself onto him as I don't want to put any pressure on him but leaving him alone like this goes against my intuition. I worry that he might feel abandoned. Even though he says he wants the space might he secretly be feeling like nobody cares enough? Against my therapists advice I have contacted him on very rare occasions and once got a positive response - he asked me to join him for his GP visit that he had been avoiding until I said I'd arrange the appointment for him. This would not have happened if I just left him alone as instructed. I am so torn, confused and worried. Frozen into inaction for fear of doing the wrong thing by insisting to be part of his life and all the time that I leave him alone I worry that I am not doing enough to support him. Sorry for the long post - any advice and personal accounts would be welcome. Thanks

amamas Home with the beast
  • replies: 6

Hi guys I'm back from my holiday, unfortunately! Managed to leave the beast (depression) behind so had a really nice time. But here's the beast back again. I know a lot of you are thinking we have a choice blah! blah! blah! Problem is there is so muc... View more

Hi guys I'm back from my holiday, unfortunately! Managed to leave the beast (depression) behind so had a really nice time. But here's the beast back again. I know a lot of you are thinking we have a choice blah! blah! blah! Problem is there is so much in normal life that causes my beast to rear it's ugly dark head and swallow me whole. I don't know how to do everyday life. I don't know how to cope with how cruel people can be sometimes.