Getting Better, but am I really?

[Wizman31]

Hi everyone.  I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for a number of years and in July last year was hospitalised.  I have since then been taking my medication religiously, talking to psychologists, psychiatrists putting into practice the coping strategies and feel that I am slowly getting better, so why am I having daily thoughts of suicide???

These thoughts are stronger now than when I was at my lowest!  Please has anyone else had the same?

I am booked to see another psych this week.

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[white knight]

Hi Wizman31, welcome to Beyond Blue forums

Firstly congratulations for ding all the right things with medication and seeking ongoing treatment. It isnt so common to get the right attitude.

Suicidal thought in my opinion can flood your mind when a few things happen to do with your daily life and lifestyle.

Lack of hobbies or other distractions and you are more likely to think about doom and gloom. In effect you have to "feed your mind" in order for it not to fall into these thought patterns. Treat your mind like a leaking bucket. If you dont continually fill it with information or distractions it will empty and bad thoughts will come.

Use search to read one important thread called "think b4 you act"

Good luck and hope to hear from you soon.

Tony WK

[Doolhof]

Hi Wizman31,

I too have had depression for about as long as I can remember and suffer from stress and a few other things as well. About 10 years ago I spent a couple of weeks in hospital and again just before Christmas I had some more time out in hospital.

After my last trip to hospital my Dr. changed my antidepressant medication as I too was having almost daily thoughts of suicide. Why these thoughts were bombarding me every day I don't really know.

My life's situation hasn't changed much since then, but with the new medication I am not having those thoughts of suicide any more. Talk to your Dr and the psych about your thoughts and ask them if they think it could be the medication or are you actually more depressed than you think you are.

As Tony mentioned, there are lots of things we can do in life to make ourselves happier if we try hard enough and before we become too depressed to be able to help ourselves.

When thoughts of suicide came into my mind, I tried to think of them as just thoughts, I told myself they were thoughts only and I did not have to entertain those thoughts. I tried to think of something else to drain out those negative thoughts.

It usually happened when I was driving, so I would turn the radio up louder, or run through a shopping list in my head,  or think of everything I wanted to do when I arrived home, or thought of loved ones who would miss me if I did do anything foolish!

They are just thoughts and feelings, which you can change!

I hope this helps a little. Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools