Following the breadcrumbs to improve mental health

[indigo22]

Hi everyone,

The last few months have been somewhat confusing as I have discovered more about my mental / physical health and how it has all been connected. I had not put the pieces together, I am not sure why, it seems so obvious now.

I have dealt with Dysthymia since about 12 and Major Depression since about 14 but was not diagnosed until my 40s and had no idea that had been the problem all along. I knew I wasn't like everyone else but thought I was just born that way. Back then mental health was not a subject that was openly discussed and the signs mostly went unrecognised and untreated. I had about 10 years of talk therapy with a social worker that helped immensely.

I have had a sensitive digestive system for a good portion of my life, not so much that I sought treatment, just things like indigestion with certain foods, bloating and the like. I suppose I thought everyone had those types of issues.

I have also had nervous system reactions over the past 15 years, like involuntary shaking in certain situations, that I had put down to getting older and being less resilient having been through a lot of difficult challenges.

I have been seeing a psychotherapist who also does somatic work (turns out you were right mmmekitty, I did need some more help). The first session of somatic work, in this case EFT (tapping), brought up a deep and long standing belief that I did not deserve to be helped. The emotions were buried so deep that I was not even aware of them. After that session things went haywire physically for a few days and took some weeks to start to settle.

Being the type of person who needs to have an understanding of what is happening and why, I have been reading many books on the symptoms I have had. That is when I began to join the dots about how interconnected by mental and physical health actually were. It has required a lot of processing on my part, and an acknowledgement of what I have been consciously unaware of, but it has been necessary to finding a way forward. This will be an ongoing journey as new symptoms show up that need to be looked at.

I know now that there is a lot of unreleased trauma in my body that is a contributing factor in not healing mentally or physically and I know now what needs to be done to improve. There is only so much that the medical profession can do, I believe the rest of the responsibility lies with us in digging deeper to find the causes and the answers. In many ways, that in itself becomes empowering.

Take care all.

indigo

[Croix]

Dear Indigo -with a wave to ER~

I'm finding your account of the feline friends is fascinating and soothing, being so far away from the many unpleasant  matters discussed in this Forum - sort of refuge. I'm also learning, for instance grooming may be a matter of control. Thar leads me on to think of people htat twist a bunch of hair as they speak may have thier behaviour due ot the same cause.

I'm pleased to hear that Pixie (I hpe i got that right) is on hte mend but a tad worried about the ringworm, I hope it clears up quickly.

I tried hte new flagging system in Croix Parler to see if you will receive it, if you do not get a notification it may not be in use as yet

Croix

[indigo22]

Hi Croix and ER,

I'm glad you are finding my feline family antics soothing, there is never a dull moment here with this lot. It is so lovely to have a family again, complete with cuddles.

No need to be concerned about the ringworm, it is in the same family as tinea, I have been using coconut oil on my arm which is clearing it up. The last thing I want to do is give 4 cats a bath with Maleseb, which is usually the treatment, I would be torn to shreds. I would much prefer to build their immune system so they have resistance to any illness going forward. I am pretty sure that they would prefer that too. It may take a little longer but I am okay with that.

The supplements alone have really helped Checkers with his flea allergy, his fur has almost all grown back now, a testament to natural therapies for animals. I only wish Vets would open their eyes and minds to the benefits of natural therapies, nearly everything they prescribe is toxic to the animal in some way even if it does get rid of the problem initially, there are the side effects to worry about afterwards, much like what our Doctors prescribe.

I am pretty sure the @mentions won't be in use until they have received all the feedback, I haven't received a notification from the post you mentioned. I am guessing some time later this month though.

indigo 💜

[Eagle Ray]

Hi indigo and Croix,

Those are nice new names, Nimue and Pixie. I feel like I have a visual image of Pixie in particular now. I'm really glad she is recovering and back to herself. I enjoyed hearing about Checkers on his perch where he can survey things outside. He really sounds like he is beginning to be at home now.

The information about the communication is really interesting and very encouraging too. It makes so much sense that the grooming gives Checkers a sense of control. Not liking the enclosed space of a carrier makes total sense. I think I would freak out too if put into something enclosed on all sides. It's really lovely he likes the sound of your voice and the quiet environment too.

The Scalar Wave experience sounds intriguing. I had to look up Scalar Waves and learned they are understood as longitudinal waves that run in parallel to the direction of motion as opposed to other waves that are perpendicular to the direction of motion. I was wondering how did the consultant who did the session administer the waves? Sound is such a powerful thing. Back in January I did a sound healing session in a town on my way back from the city and I tend to forget just how powerful it is until I experience it again.

Checkers must be doing alright if he's stealing Puddin's pad 😂 And it's funny that Puddin was getting his own back 🤣 It looks like you may have a territorial war on your hands between the two males 😆 But it's a good sign they were all eating breakfast peacefully together 🐱☮️💖

The cats are so lucky to have your love and care and it sounds like you are really getting so much back from it too, with the presence of family and the cuddles. You have created a family for all of them too which is lovely.

Croix, you and Mrs C have also created such a nice family with Sumo and Foxy Dog.

Hugs and bye for now,

ER

[Croix]

Dear ER and Indigo~

Foxy dog is to bust to appreciate the quality of his home, and he is busy guarding the refrigerator from which all good things come (his idea of guarding is to sleep in the way:).  Otherwise she is out in hteside paddock hopefully chasing rabbits and wallabies (who just laugh and run rungs around her). 

Regrettably Foxy is a much rounder dog than when we first got her, partly by fixing each of us with an attention getting stare at mealtimes. No doubt hoping for a crumb or two to fall, I notice Mrs C lets more and larger crumbs go than one would expect:)

Sumo cat does not appreciate his home, feeling his servants are slack and the house is not situated where it is always soft summer.

I too looked at Scalar Waves which if I understand it are suggested to have a positive effect when on an individual's exact frequency. Perhaps we tend to recognize that frequency in the songs that have an appeal for us.

BTW ER, I enjoy your choices and asides in the thread A song to express your feelings

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Croix and indigo,

Croix, I found your description of Foxy Dog and Sumo hilarious 🤣 I am seeing you routinely being unable to open your refrigerator as there is a rotund doggy in the way. I also have a visual image of Mrs C eating something at the kitchen table while she "accidentally" drops larger and larger "crumbs" down to Foxy Dog.

Meanwhile, Sumo surveys the whole situation with disdain, considering your chosen abode should have been in warm yet consistently mild climatic conditions. Nothing short of perfection is required by Sumo 🤣

So much for rescue animals appreciating their rescuing 😆

Thank you re: the songs thread. I'm about to go and add another song there now that is speaking to me at the moment.

Big hugs to you and indigo. I hope all is going well with your lovely cat family indigo 🐱💖

Hugs,

ER

[indigo22]

Hi ER, (👋 Croix)

I hope you are travelling ok ER, I have been a bit overwhelmed and inundated with health problems with both myself and the feline family. You are always in my thoughts though.

These past 2-3 weeks have been nuts, first dealing with a bad back, then an abscessed tooth which was causing me all sorts of problems eating. It was really loose and needed to come out so I put clove oil all around it so by the time I got to see the dentist it was relatively numb. I asked him to just pull it without the needle which he did and gave it a good flush. I could have pulled it out myself if I was a masochist, but I am not able to inflict pain on myself. A couple of hours later, I felt like a new person, able to eat again and pain free.

Next was the 2 boys coming down with cat flu and taking food to them for the next 5 days as they were not coming out to get their food. Given their age, I was concerned about how they would bounce back, but after getting them through the worst of it, they were back to coming out for their food with enthusiasm and they have both recovered well.

The next thing was a pain in my right torso that I have not experienced before that was gradually getting worse and made a telehealth appointment with a doctor at the same clinic as my own doctor due to him being on leave. He was unsure of the source so ordered a CT to see what the cause could be. By this time I was in real pain for 2 days and the scan showed stones in my kidneys so I had been trying to pass a kidney stone.

That has now settled thank goodness, and I will be doing my best to dissolve them naturally to avoid a repeat performance. There was an unexpected surprise on the scan though, my cancer is back with a vengeance. Primary in a close location to the original and metastasis to the liver.  I am not worried about it and intend to treat it naturally. No biopsies, chemo, radiotherapy or surgery. I will just end up in a worse state of health going down those roads.

I wanted to let you know as my time on the forums is likely to be sporadic for a while. I have things I need to source and need to figure out how I am going to finance the natural treatments. I will still check the forums regularly for reply posts and will answer them as I am able. In the meantime, you will be in my thoughts.

Big hugs,

indigo 💜

[Eagle Ray]

Hello dear indigo (and wave to Croix),

You have been through heaps in recent weeks. I'm really sorry to hear about everything and especially the return of the cancer. It sounds like you are in a calm state with it. I can understand you feeling that you don't want to opt for invasive procedures. I guess it is making the most informed decisions you can with the available information. One thing I have heard about is medical ultrasound as a newer approach to cancer which can target and destroy tumours. However, I know very little and don't know if it would be suitable for your cancer, nor do I know of its cost or level of availability. In a similar way of thinking, targeted sound healing may help at some level. Sound can be an incredibly powerful medicine. I know there are forms of immunotherapy too now but I think they can have their own side effects, so you would have to look at the pros and cons. Some of these could be very expensive too, but there may be options to be part of clinical trials, but again you would have to look at the benefits and risks.

Certainly there is so much now on the holistic side and healing through the mind/body/spirit in an integrated way, and I'm sure you are well into that field already. I feel like really connecting to your own heart and living in the moment with a love for life can be really helpful. I know in my own life it has been really about learning to let go that has allowed healing, a journey I am still on but I can feel things turning around inside even though I've fallen into another hole from time to time. Recently I've been doing Bowen therapy with an awesome therapist who is the most down to earth person and it helps my whole mind/body/spirit just even talking with her before she starts doing the therapy. And then the therapy itself really releases the tensions and holding patterns. So often I think healing is a) relational and b) somatic. I think if you can put those two things together a lot of good healing can happen. I feel healing any residual childhood wounding can also be really central. I'm starting to really address this with my psychologist so that my inner child self can be really seen and heard, and its amazing the healing effects this can have in the mind/body/spirit too. There have been so many layers of fear for me to work through, but they are being peeled away one by one, and I think the relinquishing of fears embedded from the past can change the way our body is at a cellular level.

We really care about you indigo and we are here for you anytime you need a chat. I'm so glad the cats have recovered well. I just had a tooth pulled recently too and can vouch for it being a lot better once it's out. I hope the kidney stone behaves itself and dissolves on its own. I hope you can find time to just be really nurturing towards yourself, maybe find some treats for yourself, things that really help you to feel good and peaceful. Sending you much love and warm, supportive hugs 🤗💕💖🌸🦋🌿☀️

[Eagle Ray]

Hello again indigo,

I was thinking of you again this evening and wondering if the family members you still have contact with know about the cancer re-emerging? I think it is primarily your nephew and possibly also your niece (apologies if I got that wrong) that you’ve still had a supportive relationship with. I was just thinking they would care and it would be good for you to have the moral support of some others in your life. I’m very glad you have the cats for company and snuggles as pets can be so helpful with health and wellbeing.

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is don’t hesitate to let people know. Very often people want to help in some way if they can. It can be very easy to try going things alone and I know you’ve been independently doing that for so long. It’s really ok to reach out for some support and just to have others to share things with.

Sleep well 😴💕

ER

[Eagle Ray]

Hi again indigo,

This is just me being a bit of a mother hen here, but I wonder if getting at least a medical evaluation of what the treatment would be would be helpful in making the best decision going forward, even if you still go down the path of treating it naturally? Have they been able to give you much info so far? For example, what would a biopsy involve and what would it be testing in terms of the information it will gain?

I just mention these things because I have found that information can be power and help to reduce overwhelm. There are times I've said no to biopsies after doing my own research and consulting medical information and patient info groups, and there are times I've said yes to biopsies such as a recent tumour that was found to be benign. In the second case there was no way for me to know without that input and so the info put my mind at rest.

I am just thinking it may be helpful to get the full sense of what is understood to be happening medically and what treatment on that path would entail, which may be helpful and informative whichever treatment path you ultimately take. Relying completely on natural remedies without knowing what is actually happening in the body could make it more challenging to know exactly what you are treating.

I completely agree that conventional treatments can be a lot for the body to endure and cause harm in other ways, so I understand you not wanting to do that, especially as you've been through it before so you know what it's like. But I'm thinking if you at least had some preliminary testing and information on what the recommended treatment plan would be, you have a sense of what is actually going on and then finding your own path from there.

Those are just some thoughts. I guess what I'm saying is don't necessarily close off all medical options at this stage, but use the medical system to serve you to make the best decision going forward. I am just thinking of your wellbeing and what will be the most empowering for you.

Take care 🤗

ER

[indigo22]

Hi ER,

Thank you for your caring and support, it means a lot to me.

I have told my niece and her husband, I really didn't want to because they have only dealt with the death of their other aunt from cancer a year ago, they have lost both parents and grandparents to cancer as well. But I also didn't want them to be in the dark, that is unfair to them. They were very supportive and I know they will be there if needed. I haven't spoken with my nephew as yet but I am sure he will hear about it from my niece.

The doctor had spoken to a specialist for some idea of what interventions would be needed so I pretty much know what modern medicine has in mind. Biopsies, surgery (which would likely involve a colostomy bag which I definitely do not want) and chemotherapy, which I have already said no to after watching my brother go through it. I don't want biopsies as they have the potential to release the cancer further. So my decision to walk away from modern medicine is based on wanting to give my body a fighting chance un-invasively and without toxic treatment.

I have a friend who has gone through chemotherapy and is about to have his 100th immunotherapy session and is still not in the clear, and has been causing his skin to react badly from day one.

There is nothing that modern medicine can offer me that will not come with another list of problems and that is not what I want to be dealing with going forward. My plan is to come up with a strategy with input from my naturopath to fight it off with natural medicine (medicinal mushrooms, herbals and spices) that have been proven to fight cancer cells. My naturopath has said her father has lung cancer and was in remission for 5 years with this strategy. Another friend said her father had prostate cancer and was cancer free when he died of a heart attack (an autopsy was requested which confirmed the cancer was not present). My gut is telling me that this is the way to go and will improve my health at the same time as knocking the cancer on the head. It is also a spiritual decision to a large degree. The first time was operable and didn't require other interventions. It was a wake up call which I did respond to, but not completely. I am now getting a next level wake up call to do what I have not yet done.

For all of those reasons, I am not worried about it. The doctor said if this is not treated you will die from it, my response was "that's not going to happen". Not because I am in denial, but because I know this is the right path for me. The power of our own healing is far greater than any modern medical interventions if we give our body the right ingredients to do the job.

Thank you for being a mother hen, it shows how much you care.

Hugs,

indigo 💜