First day sober

[sinking_mama]

Its been 9 and a half hours since i finished my last drink at 3am. Im still in bed trying unsuccessfully to sleep of my raging hangover from lasts nights effort.

I have made the decision. Thats it. No more. Now i just need to stick to it. Unlike the last kajillion times.

I dont drink every day. For me its every second day. After all i need a day to recover from the previous night where i have completely written myself off.

Im the type of person who cant do moderation. I have no control over my drinking. Rather it controls me. When. How much. My actions while drunk. For me a sip = pass out drunk.

My almost 2 year old boy is playing in the lounge room with his nan and i am disgusted with myself that im not there with him.

So much of my life has been missed because of my dependence and addiction. A lot is a blur. Even more is just missing.

I cant do this any more. I WONT do this any more.

20.7.16 marks the begining of my sobriety.

Now i just need to do it.

[Kazzl]

Hi again mama - just wondering how you're going hun. Sending positive thoughts and strength to you.

Kaz

[geoff]

dear Sinking Mama, it's not going to be easy, you know and we know that, but you decided that it was time to change, to give yourself a new life, to enjoy the company of your son, but more important to learn what your son loves and hates and certainly all he is interested in, because before hand you couldn't remember and couldn't respond to what he was asking you to do, to play with, go to the park but you couldn't because alcohol had you well and truly under control, so you weren't able to walk straight let alone to the front door, but now is your breaking point.
You know when you're had too much to drink you say 'I will give up tomorrow', but that's always a promise you can never keep, but it's something that you feel eases the guilt you are carrying around, but tomorrow comes along so you have just one drink and so the cycle continues.
Smokers are no different one last drag and say 'that's my last cigeratte' but as soon as any pressure comes along back to the fags they go, I don't really need to say all of this because you already know.
You have to keep your tummy full, drink tonic water or some other fuzzy drink and actually skull the whole glass, and if need be have a headache tablet just for the first couple of days.
Remember you need to try and talk yourself through these withdrawals, think of positive reasons why you need to stop or perhaps why you want to stop, and your son is a good reason.
As I only drink socially I am still labelled as being an alcoholic, but I am not fazed one bit, because I know within myself that it's not true, and that's the aim you have to try and trive for. Geoff. x