First day sober

sinking_mama · ‎20-07-2016

Its been 9 and a half hours since i finished my last drink at 3am. Im still in bed trying unsuccessfully to sleep of my raging hangover from lasts nights effort.

I have made the decision. Thats it. No more. Now i just need to stick to it. Unlike the last kajillion times.

I dont drink every day. For me its every second day. After all i need a day to recover from the previous night where i have completely written myself off.

Im the type of person who cant do moderation. I have no control over my drinking. Rather it controls me. When. How much. My actions while drunk. For me a sip = pass out drunk.

My almost 2 year old boy is playing in the lounge room with his nan and i am disgusted with myself that im not there with him.

So much of my life has been missed because of my dependence and addiction. A lot is a blur. Even more is just missing.

I cant do this any more. I WONT do this any more.

20.7.16 marks the begining of my sobriety.

Now i just need to do it.

Chris_B · ‎20-07-2016

Hi sinking mama, well done on your difficult decision. Some of our other members will be along to post shortly. I'd really recommend you check out the group thread below, we have a number of members who are supporting each other to stay away from alcohol and you'll find lots of encouragement there:

Battling the booze

Kazzl · ‎20-07-2016

Welcome to the forum sinking mama. May I give you a virtual hug? I've been where you are hun and like you I made the decision of 'no more' - five years ago. Getting sober is the hardest thing I've ever done, and the best - for my health, my happiness, my self-esteem, everything. Frankly, if I hadn't I'd probably be long gone.

Chris mentioned the battling the booze thread. Please have a read through - you will get some tips to help you through the hard early days and weeks and, importantly, you'll see you're not alone in this AND that it is possible to beat the booze.

Please feel free to join in on that thread or keep posting here. We're here to support you through this, so ask any questions you want, say how you're feeling and hold on tight.

Well done for making this choice mama.

Kaz

marlina · ‎20-07-2016

Well done sinking mama. Always, with all my heart i will support anyone that decided to finish with alcohol dependency. I am sending my virtual hug as well - and remember that you are not alone xxx

Moonstruck · ‎20-07-2016

Support and love in abundance is coming your way.....I was once a "Sinking Mama" too. I relate to how you feel when you look at your gorgeous little son - My "little sons" are now strong tall men.....I still have moments when I "feel disgust" too, at my past self for "not being there " for them. I was sinking instead and holding desperately onto alcohol which I thought was my only lifeline, my only friend. It was my worst enemy and nearly killed me.

It's only been a day for you darling - but that's great! (3 and a bit years for me which no-one EVER thought I could do, least of all myself). You will get through this - please keep in touch with us and know you are never alone my friend.......Good Luck!!!.......Moon S.

geoff · ‎21-07-2016

dear Sinking Mama, well there have been a multitude of replies that will continue, especially on the link that Chris has supplied, but what a record for you to begin with, 9 and a half hours, longer now, but more so the need which you have now realised needs to be accomplished, it's this determination that someone needs so they can stop drinking alcohol, that they now have had enough, it's now time to get your life back into some sort of order, to reclaim the love and admiration which your son might have missed out on, and to claim the support back from your nan, and when you add all of these together then is more than just one reason for you to stop.
Your doctor can also help by prescribing a particular type of medication that will help you to stop any desire of having another drink, and this has been discussed in the link that Chris has provided, however it's called 'The Sinclair Method'.
For me my alcohol drinking when depressed was one reason why my wife divorced me, and now I only drink socially, but for you this will not be able to happen, because as you say one sip wipes you out, so your son would be asking nan 'what's happened to mum' or why does she have to do this.
An enormous amount of people on this site will always reply back to you, so please have a look at that link, and let us know what's happening on day 2. Geoff. x

Kazzl · ‎21-07-2016

Hi mama - hey don't we have a lovely bunch of booze beaters here! We're here to help you - and if we can do it, you can do it.

Now, the next few days are going to be hard hun, the early days always are. You'll probably be feeling physically better, you'll be feeling good about your decision, but the cravings will kick in after a while. You might want a drink to ease them, or you might even convince yourself that because you haven't had a drink for a few days you're OK and you can control it. Be very aware of those feelings and don't give in to them.

There are some tips on the Battling the booze thread for getting through the first week or so. I hope they can help you through. I strongly suggest you keep as busy as you can during the first week - physically and mentally. Get yourself good and tired by the end of the day so you can just fall into bed. Oh and eat and drink (non alcoholic of course) as much and as often as you want - keep yourself full so you're less likely to want booze (cravings happen when we're hungry). Have treats whenever you want them so you don't get that 'deprived' feeling.

Is it possible to get some help from your mum or nan (who was looking after your son)? You need to really focus on yourself during the early days - be able to do everything in your power to not drink.

I hope you'll come back and let us know how you are hun. We're here.

Kaz

sinking_mama · ‎21-07-2016

Thanks everyone,

I have to admit, yesterday was the easy part. Day two, not so easy.

Ive got twinges at the moment, especially in my head. It at its worst when i turn my head quickly. I hate this part. Now is when i usually go to the bottle o. While i can still drive. Before the twinges get too bad and the shaking really sets in.

Ive spent the morning with my little man, first doing housework then making a huge mess playing.

Moonstruck · ‎21-07-2016

I found the Alcohol Counselling & Information 24/7 support line very useful to me.....I rang them quite a lot if I recall - they were always there, and always helped me....1800 177 833 was the number in the front of my phone book...........best wishes to you......

Kazzl · ‎21-07-2016

Good thinking Moonstruck. 🙂

Hi mama - sounds like the withdrawals are starting. Keep well hydrated, well-fed and, if it's possible with the little fella, take naps when you can. Don't worry about housework etc - get the rest you need - your body is going to go through a big adjustment over the next few days. You might even start to feel flu-like symptoms, Your focus needs to be on you - treat yourself as if you were ill, with rest, water, quiet etc.

Also, try not to think too far ahead at this stage - there's a good reason for the 'one day at a time' approach. Keep it small, keep it real.

Must be nice to have the little guy to play with. 🙂

Hang in there hun, you're doing well.

Kaz