Feeling lonely and isolated despite being surrounded by people

[brookey]

Hey everyone, 

First of all thanks for taking the time to read my post. I'm a 25 year old uni student and I am currently really struggling a lot with recurrent depression. At the moment I'm finding it very hard trying to cope with the feelings of loneliness and isolation I am experiencing. This is really frustrating as I am quite a social person who has lots of close friends, but at the moment I feel very isolated and alone. I think a large part of this stems from the fact that nearly every friend of mine is currently in a long-term relationship, and many are beginning to get engaged/married/buying a house together etc. 

I really struggle with a long-held belief that I will be alone forever, and that nobody could ever really love me for who I am. My psychologist and I agree that one way to challenge this would be to meet new people and develop experiences that are alternative to these thoughts/beliefs. However, I am struggling to think of ways to meet new people (last relationship was from online dating, but didn't work out; haven't really ever met someone through friends). Has anyone been in a similar experience? And does any one have any advice for strategies with coping with feelings of being unlovable, and also ways to meet new people to challenge these thoughts? 

 Any feedback would be greatly appreciated as this is something that I am really struggling with! 

 Cheers, 

 Brooke xx 

[BobbyMay]

Hey Brooke,

 I'm Bob and reading your post hit me like a brickwall. I'm also 25 and a uni student. I automatically feel the exact same. I don't have close friends but if you met me you would be surprised. All my friends are getting married, travelling together and having kids whilst I'm trying to do "my own thing" to get where I want to. But the truth is I hate being alone and not knowing who my real friends are and I'm still figuring it out. I spoke to my physch but it still makes me sad.

Anyways I just wanted to add my 2 cents in and just wanted to acknowledge your post.

Bob

[Setsail001]

Sorry for the really late reply Brookey!

How are you doing? That's so awesome that you've lived overseas! I did too in my late teens/early twenties - for me I think that contributed to feeling isolated from my friends once I got back. They'd all moved in different directions and life had gone on without me! But think how great that experience was and how much you learned 🙂

 it sounds like you might be adventurous and love to travel, like me, so I found the things that help me stay well are trying new things, meeting new people and planning a next adventure. I know it's hard when you're studying but it doesn't hurt to dream and plan! The problem I have when I get depressed though is that I really lack energy and positivity which can impede on any efforts of making those things happen. So in that case I try to read books of other's adventures to help get me out of that mindset and start thinking in a different way. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I also see a psych which I think really helps 🙂

Come on here and rant any time you like! It seems like a good and helpful environment as you said 🙂 take care Brookey! We'll get through this 🙂

k