Feeling elated and happy!

hope4joy · ‎08-02-2016

Hi all,

I've been feeling so very down for a good few months and today i've had a momentary release - something so beautiful and I want to share that because you guys on this forum are really important to me. Tonight I came runner up in an art award, for a public artwork i made, and i'm so excited!!!! it is so empowering to have people acknowledge my ideas and my work. The piece was about a prominent female historical figure who overcame significant obstacles and opposition to excel in her field in what was a male-dominated profession at that time. It was also in support of marriage equality. And lastly is was about following one's passions and dreams - not waiting - and having the courage to do this. It was kind of a statement about me returning to uni to do visual art, and having the courage to pursue an occupation in the arts. But i guess what led me to post here is to share that even when everything feels bleak and hopeless, things can happen that light up our joy, even if they are only fleeting. And amazingly when I accepted the award I chose to make a little speech into the microphone (eek, first time!) and I radiated my joy and passion for art... in fact i wanted to keep talking but decided a few mins was enough... even though i am in the middle of a horrible depression episode and have no confidence in myself... it was truly remarkable!

Kindness and joy to you all, Christina

Guest_1055 · ‎09-02-2016

Hey Christina

You were hoping for some joy, so I am glad and happy for you that you received some. I would like to see some of the work that you have created. Anyway Congratulations to you! Many hugs.

With love

Shelley xx

hope4joy · ‎10-02-2016

Hi Sherie,

I also love numbers - puzzles, sudoku, card games - they are a wonderful form of play. I also enjoyed maths at school. I think there are lots of ways we can express ourselves - from cooking, to gardening, to writing, to making things, to singing... i have always wished i were a great singer.... i'd really love that! To me it is such a powerful way to emotionally connect to masses of people, and inspire positive messages. But alas i'm not, and am very happy to follow my other passion which is art. Its challenging though because only some people understand and love my art, and I struggle with self confidence on and off. Sometimes I wonder about art's relevance and importance, and i guess it can feel like a very selfish pursuit at times because it is so much about self expression (i also work in community services which feels much more noble!) but I guess the fact is that i've been given a talent and calling in art so that is what is true for me to follow. i've travelled a lot and worked in many different areas from gov to community sector to private and so i guess i'm still trying to make sense of it all, while trying to enjoy the journey so to speak! I feel very privileged to be able to spend this time at uni studying art - we are ever so fortunate in Australia.

I'm wondering how your busy day yesterday went? And what your feelings toward your work are?

With kindness, Christina

hope4joy · ‎10-02-2016

Hi Neil,

thanks for your kind reply. You talk about endorphins, oh yes! I was running on a high! It took ages for me to fall asleep and then I woke up early... I think it was only midday yesterday that the endorphin level dropped back down to normal 🙂 Its interesting I was reflecting on my walk this morning how much energy both joy and anger give the body - at either time I can easily run and do steps and all sorts of things, and need to use common sense to not overdo it as otherwise i'd be sore for days! Emotions are fickle things.

I've also been reflecting this morning how avoiding responsibility and commitments in life - something i've done with a passion - are the very things that bring so much meaning and connection and gentle joy (contendedness?) that i've been looking for and searching for, for ever so long. Yes its like the penny suddenly dropped. I guess lately I've made higher commitments to my work, to my studies and to a support group i'm part of - and it feels really good. Even last night at my team meeting for work I participated so much more than usual - and coming forward and being active felt great. I lost confidence at one moment (one colleague scares me) but otherwise really was part of the team. I guess that's it - I often act in ways of being sort of passive that mean I never feel I belong. Hmm, I wonder if any of this makes sense! Well it does to me, its like i see a new way of being. Taking more responsibility I guess, but in a healthy way.

And Neil yes I think I did convey my joy when I spoke! And I've realised that I quite enjoy public speaking. I also consistently love job interviews. I spoke to my sister about it and she thinks I'd be a great public speaker. I've done well with talks at work before, but they have been very few and far between. I need to know my subject matter and see some value in it to enjoy speaking. Who knows, maybe i'll end up being a lecturer!

Anyways Neil, thanks for sharing my excitement. It was nice to post something really light and joyful on the forum, as it can be a very heavy place at times.

Do you have any things that really ignite a passion in you Neil? Or that you simply enjoy doing?

Kindness to you, Christina

hope4joy · ‎10-02-2016

Hi Shelley,

thank you for your congratulations! I'd like to share some art but I guess I don't know how to do this without giving away my contact information. In some ways I'm happy for people to know this info about me, and in other ways I like some of the anonymity on the forum. It is a shame there isn't an option to upload photos. I'll think about this some more - thanks for asking!

Kind wishes, Christina

Neil_1 · ‎10-02-2016

Dear Christina

Thanx heaps for your latest response … things that ignite a passion in me … well not sure if it’s the ignition point, but things that I enjoy and that I’m passionate about, are obviously my two children (both in their teenage years and I adore and love them to bits), my gym workouts (the gym is like my 2nd safe sanctuary – home being first), running or keeping fit, is a massive passion or perhaps more of a lifestyle for me.

There’s a few things. 🙂

Neil

hope4joy · ‎11-02-2016

Hi Neil,

thanks for sharing... that's lovely to hear that you've got two great kids - well teenagers!

Exercise and staying fit is important to me too - I love hot yoga in particular and walking - I think they act very much like anti-depressants and get my mind and body going in the morning.

Anyways, have a great day.

Kindness, Christina