Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Zeal]

Hi Shelley Anne,

I had very low self-esteem in my teen years. I didn't think I was funny, interesting or accomplished at anything, and was self-critical of my appearance. As a consequence, I was socially awkward. I had mild depression in my teens, as well as severe OCD, and when I was 18 and 19, an eating disorder. I still have OCD, but it is milder and more manageable with the help of SSRI's.

My self-esteem has been much healthier since the age of 21. What changed is my decision to study psychology full-time at uni, and also joining an organisation as a volunteer early last year (shortly after I turned 21). As of January I have been spending time with a new group of people. My best friend introduced me to what is now our friendship group (mainly her boyfriend's friends from high school). I started dating a really nice guy in this group earlier this year, and he is now my boyfriend of almost 6 months.

Doing things outside of yourself really helps with self-esteem. Keeping busy (but not overloading yourself) ensures you don't have too much time to dwell on negative emotions. It has actually been proven in studies that volunteering is good for your mental health and wellbeing. I can attest to this! I love coming on these forums and giving advice when I can, and also mentoring a girl with an intellectual disability. You can learn new things about yourself too, as well as focusing on the needs of someone else. If you are busy with work and/or children, then this might make doing extra things a bit difficult. Though if you have kids at school, you could help out at the canteen or in the library.

Doing things which you enjoy and that give you a sense of purpose can really help with this feeling of worthlessness. Making that step to start doing different activities is the biggest obstacle really. Once you start doing something, it can become a regular routine.

If there are others that put you down or even unintentionally cause you to feel bad about yourself, tell them what they are doing or saying is hurtful (if you can). I find the media to be a bit overwhelming. Avoid reading magazines and online gossip columns, as these are rarely good for one's self-esteem! Face book and other avenues of social media should also be used in moderation. These forums are in a category of their own though, and are productive and helpful.

If this feeling is severe and doesn't ease, then I recommend seeing your GP.

Best wishes,

SM

[Neil_1]

Dear Shelley anne

Yes, the feeling of being worthless does strike us and as a result can really affect us negatively.  However, there are strategies to overcome it or even to lessen it, so it doesn’t dominate you.

That’s the critical thing – to incorporate strategies into your day so you can start on things that will assist you being focussed on other things and all the while, helping you along the way.

I cannot speak more highly about SM’s response to you – she went in depth about it all and then listed a number of great examples of things that you could possibly take up.  Stemming from that, it might have also triggered something in you to think, “Hey yeah, I could do this” or “I could try that, and that might be an ok thing to do”.

It’s the initial part of starting;  but I feel by you coming here and posting, that was indeed, your first step.  Once you feel ok to do so, it’s then time to take that ‘next’ step.  As SM said, try to get the mind active and occupied, but not so busy that it becomes overwhelming.  Try to strike that happy medium.

But also know that we are here for you.  So please, we’d love to hear back from you on this if you feel ok to do so.

Neil

[Guest_1055]

Thanks Neil for your reply to me, it is probably what I needed right now,like at this moment. So I do thank you.

Just a few minutes ago, I went through a horrible sort of conflict situation. I hate it so much, my heart physically races. And I just want to go, go somewhere where it will not hurt anymore. I do not know if you understand. But I do thank you for giving me your time.

[Simona]

Morning Shelley anne  : )

Very sorry to read you are having a bad moment.  Maybe try to distract yourself with something that feels good. Like, I do the housework (stress relief, feel good endorphins) then I play with my hair for abit doing different styles and maybe make-up.

I hope you feel better very soon   : )

I don't feel worthless I just feel misunderstood

[Guest_1055]

Thank you Simona, I will physically push myself to have a shower and go and hang out the wet washing. And I am sorry you feel mis understood, I know what that is like too.

Bye

[Turtle_eyes]

Hi Shelly,

I have lived with Depression for over 10 years and feelings of worthlessness is it's greatest mantra, in my experience.

As I write this I am in my second week off from work as I am changing medications due to the very feelings you mentioned arising strongly in my life again.

What works for me is to stop drinking alcohol completely, drink lots of water, eat really well, and see my Psychologist.

It was so hard for me at the start of last week that I felt no drive to get better, so I drank too much, which is like plugging a hole in a boat with a stick of dynamite.....

.....I had very bad thoughts after that, but the counselling helped me see it from the outside, and after 5 clean days, no alcohol, no junk food, and very little In my day to stress me I feel like I see the way out of it. Keep life simple, watch your thoughts float by, like clouds in the sky. Don't compare yourself to anyone, but who you were yesterday.

Hope this helps.

Ed

Turtle eyes....because there eyes are so beautiful.

[Guest_1055]

Hello turtle eyes

The worthlessness feeling is one I want to well, just stomp on with all my physical strength whenever it creeps up.

I am so sorry you have had depression for over 10 years. And I like the idea of watching your thoughts float away like clouds. That sounds so very peaceful and calming. almost like the bad thoughts just don't even affect you at all.

Thank you enough for caring about me Ed

Shelley anne

PS- I have never really looked close at a turtles eyes, but I will now.

[Guest_1055]

Hello SM

Thank you for your reply to me. I truly appreciate you doing that. I know keeping busy helps ,because you can take your eyes off yourself, and focus on something else.

I can easily relate to your feelings of awkwardness in social settings. I hate that feeling too, " the I want to hide" feeling.

I think  I feel worthless, when no one notices me, that I am invisible. Like I am not important enough to them to even bother with, if that makes any sense?? Anyway I think I am talking about myself way too much here.

And good on you for studying something at uni, that could help a lot of people.

Hugs

[Gruffudd]

Hi there Shelley anne,

You certainly are not invisible, not here, I see all sorts responding to you and what you bring. I do know that feeling of being just worthless, thanks to Leunig I have a certificate of irrelevance framed and on the wall next to my degree. It is a healthy reminder that being just one out of seven billion does make me rather insignificant, but also  without me the whole would be the lesser. Your worth is not a comparative matter, it is in bing yourself - no one but you can be that.