Feeling down

[CMF]

Well I've been down for a while because of certain events, but the last two days I feel really anxious and depressed.  I changed my routine this morning which was great but I was still sad in the new routine, but it was a good change. I feel like I'll never move forward.  I don't think I'm meant to be happy in life.  I know happiness is a choice but my mind won't let me go there. Sometimes I think I have more control if I'm unhappy because I'm happy something will happen to ruin it.

[blueebutterflies]

Hey,

I feel like I am going through a similar thing to you and want to let you know that I do believe that things will get better. Sometimes I feel like we have to look at depression like a tunnell. You start and some areas are made of glass and some have windows and others are completely pitch black. Its important to realise that no matter how dark things get, there is always a road ahead that has light planned for you. You are meant for happiness, and I believe you will find it. I understand that feeling in control whilst being unhappy is a good thing for a certain amount of time but sometimes, its good to take risks and let yourself try to be happy. Teach your mind that it doesnt have power over you and that you can reach happiness. I believe in you and so do lots of other people. Keep your head up and never give up, because you are moving forward everyday. Whether its a run or crawl, its the little steps that count.

[AGrace]

Hi CMF,

Welcome to Beyondblue, and thanks for reaching out to us here at the forums.

It sounds like you're having a really difficult time at the moment, so I firstly wanted to ask if you are getting some professional help with how you are feeling?

It can be as simple as going to your GP and getting a referral to a Psychologist/Psychiatrist to at least just talk through some of your thoughts and feelings.

You mentioned that there had been some events that had led to you feeling low and anxious, have you been able to talk with anyone about these?

You are so not alone in how you are feeling, and we would love to be able to give you some advice if that's what you feel you'd like. It would be helpful to know a little more about you. I hope that you will come back to us.

AGrace

[CMF]

Thanks,

I am meant to have lunch with friends today.  I don't want to go, would rather be on my own.  I cant be bothered putting on the happy face and being fake. I'd rather go out on my own and not have to talk to anyone or be with anyone.  I can't be bothered with other people right now. I don't think I'll ever reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

[Zoe__lt_3]

Hi,

Maybe going out with a group might be a bit much, so perhaps just one friend? Take small steps to begin with and very slowly build up to the group thing.

Do the same with your private-life too. Think of one happy thought per day and then force yourself to increase it slowly over time, till you're thinking lots of happy thoughts easily and freely. It's some basic brain-training and it's slowly starting to work for me.

Give it a try - it's free! 🙂

Zoe x

[CMF]

thx, I like the brain training idea.  I went to the lunch, there were 4 of us. It was ok but I felt disengaged plus I had to keep an eye on my little one.  I'm glad I made the effort seeing as they made the effort to organise it.

[AGrace]

Hi CMF,

I can really relate to the idea of not being bothered to be around people. I think that stage lasted a few years for me. There were definitely times when I'd make an excuse to cancel. What I eventually learnt was that just by being with friends it kept the friendships alive. I stopped putting pressure on myself to be really cheerful around them as well. By keeping the friendships going it meant that when I eventually did want company or needed support those people were still there for me. I know what you mean by feeling disengaged. I used to sit with my friends at a coffee shop listening to them complain about not having a boyfriend, or where they were going on the weekend, or who wasn't pulling their weight at work. I'd spend the entire time thinking "I'm just trying to stay alive" it kind of didn't relate to what they found interesting so I felt really disconnected.

I'm glad that you went, despite not feeling like it. One of the other things I started to do was get in first and organise the catch up. That way I could just get them to come to my place to watch a movie or something. So it was completely on my terms.

Reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. The good thing about light is it travels, it might reach you before you think you'll get to it.

AGrace

[CMF]

Thx Agrace

I felt left out a little and as they spoke about things today I felt I disagreed with a lot of it but I think it's just my negativity towards everything a at the moment. Usually I would agree or try to relate but I couldn't be bothered. I find I have no patience for things at the moment and I get annoyed with everyone else's perfect little lives ( I know they're not really perfect).  Anyway I don't really care. I might give it a miss next time. 

[geoff]

dear CMF, what can be common with having these moments is the lead up to you going, this then makes you so tense, so there are so many negative thoughts that go through your mind, which just intensifies you also not wanting to go, so your heart starts beating at a million miles an hour.

What you can do is just think that you can join in either if you want to, or just stay silent, and if they ask you why you are so quite, then tell them 'I have been off colour for a couple of days', so this will allow you to remain silent if you so wish.

In regard to believing that you will never see the light, that's OK, because in depression that's what happens, because if we could predict the day, the time we knew, wouldn't that be too convenient.

You won't see the day until the light appears when you start to improve, and although you don't believe that this will ever happen, it will slowly happen.

I felt exactly the same as you for so many years, never believing what my psychologist kept on telling me, then bang it happened. Geoff.

[CMF]

Thx Geoff,

I'm having a better day today, maybe because its pay day although after doing the shopping there is not much left.  being down to the last cent every week doesn't help either. My good/bad days seem to go in waves although I still don't want to be around anyone, but that's just me.  my little girl is having her sleep at the moment so I have some quiet time to myself which is nice I have a feeling things will fall into place for me one day. you need to let your self believe soemtimes