Feeling directionless with no motivation

[Bacon_Pancakes93]

Just hoping to see if anyone has been in a similar spot. This is entirely out of the ordinary for me, but last few weeks I have wanted to do nothing but stay in bed and game, everything else feels like too much effort, I'm oversleeping, I don't find enjoyment in the things I love (going to the gym, reading) and I have no direction/don't know what I am doing with myself. This is having a huge impact on work as I don't want to go to work most days and every week am having 1-2 days off (either genuinely from being sick or calling in sick). I am 30 and ended a long-term relationship in April (diagnosed with anxiety-induced insomia as a result of this), currently living with my parents again. I was also briefly promoted at work a few months back in an acting capacity, but was passed up on the opportunity to make it permanent, now back to my usual job/tasks. I was fine during the settling down period, but now I feel like everything is catching up. I don't understand why I can't find the motivation to do anything or work out my goals. I just feel weirdly empty. A counsellor told me I'm showing depressive signs. I'm planning to book GP and Psych appts but I know these can take some time. If anyone has suggestions on where I can start in the meantime or something that worked for you, that would be greatly appreciated. 

[sunnyl20]

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment. It sounds like you are really not feeling yourself and struggling to enjoy anything. Please know that you are not alone in what you're experiencing. With the right support, you can get through this dark period, I understand that is probably hard to see right now when you are in the thick of it, but it will not always feel this empty and awful.

I think making an appointment with your GP is a great place to start as they likely know you well and will be able to support you and advise you on some options going forward.

In terms of what may help in the meantime, different things work for different people so it may take a bit of trial and error to find what works for you, but hopefully there is something in this list of suggestions that may light a spark for you:

 - Physical exercise can be helpful, it doesn't have to be anything intense or long, this might look like something as simple as a 15 minute walk in the fresh air, important in breaking the cycle of oversleeping and withdrawing into yourself and your room

 - If you can, I would really encourage you to continue doing the things that you used to enjoy - it can be so hard when you are lacking motivation, I really do get that, but avoiding these activities will likely leave you feeling worse in the long run (again, start small, whatever feels manageable for you)

 - Spend time in spaces (other than your bedroom) that have previously made you happy e.g. by the ocean, in a dog park, in the bush

 - Think about how you might be able to connect with people in ways that feel manageable (isolation can really aggravate feelings of emptiness and hopelessness so as difficult as it may feel, trying to connect with others is important)

 - Letting someone close to you know what you are experiencing (this may feel daunting, but it can often be really helpful to let someone know what is happening for you, not only so that they can be there for you, but also as talking about it and externalising it can take the edge off too)

 - If you do not feel comfortable telling anyone close to you, there are confidential 24/7 helplines including Beyond Blue's Support Service line where you can be anonymous but still express and share what you are experiencing 

 - Similar to the previous suggestion, many people also find writing can be a helpful process when things feel really overwhelming or difficult to manage as writing can help organise your thoughts a bit more, it may help you see what is going on from a different perspective and it can help externalise a little of the stress and emotion that you are going through

 - Given how low your motivation is, it is understandable that goal-setting feels difficult. It may be helpful to write down what you value (or that you previously really valued before feelings of emptiness set in), and setting some very small, realistic goals around these values. 

There is no easy fix, but I think the fact that you have recognised that you are not coping and that something needs to change is a really important step. I hope that you are able to get the support that you need to work through this.

Please do not hesitate to reach out on these forums as and when you feel up to it - we are here to listen and support you. Take care. 

[therising]

Hi Bacon_Pancakes93

I find the best start in looking for the best way forward comes with the declaration 'I have zero idea how to do life under the circumstances'. So the quest, with all its questions, begins with 'What are the circumstances?'. Becoming more conscious of the circumstances can lead to being much kinder to our self. Kinda like 'No wonder I feel the way I do. Makes complete sense, under the circumstances'.

I wish someone had told me years ago what 'a lack of' does to a person. Would have made life a lot easier. Whether it's a mental lack of something, a physical lack or even some soulful lacking, a lack of certain things can come with some seriously depressing side effects.

• A lack of self understanding can come with mental side effects. If we're led to believe we're lazy, hopeless and good for nothing, for example, that'll really start to mess with inner dialogue. Cue the inner critic, harsh judge, pessimist and all those facets of our self. Being led to tap into the inner sage, goal setter, seer (of the best way forward) and all those facets of self means our self has built in resources. Finding a good guide when it comes to ways of tapping in is definitely key
• A lack of knowledge in how we physically tick in the ways of chemistry and biology can definitely put us behind the eight ball. Chemistry produces energy and if the right chemistry's not there the energy's not there either and the side effects can become depressing. I had no idea how depressing a B12 deficiency could become until I felt it. Same with chemical deficiencies as a result of sleep apnea (poor quality sleep). I don't think it's enough for a GP to say 'Drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Get more exercise, it'll be good for you. Try and get outdoors more'. They should be giving us an education. Water increases vibration/excitement (energy) in every cell in our body. Kinetic energy (movement that generates energy) can be so worked up to the point where we can literally feel the heat being generated, like with exercise. And all that skin on our body is like a solar panel that promotes chemical energy, like vitamin D. Our solar panel needs sun (achieved in safe ways). We're a power house - hydro powered, motion powered, solar powered and powered in a number of other ways too. If we're not 'in charge' we can be out of charge. Btw, doesn't hurt to get blood tests done, to see whether certain chemical energy deficiencies are in play
• A soulful sense of lacking can be felt at such a deep level. If energy is the thing that connects us to life, with a lack of energy you can feel the disconnection. It really can feel soul destroying. With the fields of medicine, biology, chemistry and such feeling the need to identify every emotion as a chemical experience (excitement=dopamine, oxytocin=love etc), when excitement, love of life, inspiration and all those things are lacking, we can feel the lacking not only on a chemical level but on a soulful level too. We can even feel a lack of adventure time 🙂

Can be so hard to identify what the lack is about, even though we can feel it. If emotion is energy in motion, we can definitely feel a depressing lack of 'high end' e-motion at times, when it comes to the emotional spectrum.