I'm in my mid-20s. My life isn't over by any means, but I can't help
thinking "Why do I even try?". I'm trying to make friends at University,
I've joined a couple of Uni clubs, but I feel so out of touch and
rejected. Maybe times have changed, but I'...
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I'm in my mid-20s. My life isn't over by any means, but I can't help
thinking "Why do I even try?". I'm trying to make friends at University,
I've joined a couple of Uni clubs, but I feel so out of touch and
rejected. Maybe times have changed, but I'm constantly made fun of for
my word choice, my actions, and every interaction feels like some kind
of point scoring event against me. I get that I'm older than most of
these people, and I'm out of touch socially, but it feels like people
are literally making up social rules to belittle me. An example of this:
people were joking about how they were undateable. One person said, "I'm
pretty sure everyone here is some kind of alcohol." "Or mentally ill."
Another says "Or autistic." I add, and there is silence like I've said
some kind of slur. People berate me about how the correct term is person
with autism, and I have to apologise. Should be noted I was diagnosed
with this when I was 15, and it is, like the other things people joked
about, a medical condition. A few months later, one person is talking
about how if someone called them a slur which I'm not going to type
based on their identity, they will react with "Hell yeah I am" or
something like that. I ask isn't that a bad word, as I've always known
it to be. Everyone looks at me and explains that it's about 'taking back
and owning' the word. I've just gotten so tired of listening to everyone
else talk to try and learn social rules that bend themselves backwards
in various hipocritical and bigoted ways, whilst all the while they mock
me. I really like this club's hobby, and I don't want to leave because
of that. But I cannot help but feel unwanted and even hated, every time
I open my mouth it ends with half a dozen people telling me to get
stuffed in various ways. It isn't just this club either. I just cannot
seem to have positive interactions with anyone at any social club, or
follow any of the social rules I didn't learn the last 4 years. I feel
so alone as every attempt to make friends just ends in misery,
rejection, or ridicule. How am I meant to learn the rules when everyone
uses me as a punching bag? I just want to be accepted, I'm not trying to
hurt or upset anyone, but I'm treated as an antagonist.
How do I talk to my doctor?
