Feeling alone and lost

pinkdragon · ‎28-01-2019

I've been going through a very rough time lately and I have no one to talk to.

I have a circle or friends but I'm only really close to two of them. I can't talk to either of them because one has just had a baby and she's dealing with that, and although I'm close with the other girl, we don't see each other very often and she has her own problems to deal with.

I can't talk to my boyfriend either because he's useless. He's unemployed and has been for quite some time and all he does is sit on his back side playing video games all day and chatting to friends via social media. I've known him for about six years now, he's my best friend and I love him very much but he's of no help at all. If I try talking to him about something that bothers me, he has a meltdown and says that I demand too much of his time and attention and this causes him to be stressed out. He has time for video games and his own friends, but no time for me. Yet I can't bring myself to leave him.

I can't talk to my family because I have next to no relationship with any of them. It's the worst with my mum.

I work full time and I've been in the same industry for eight years, six years of those have been working for my current employer. I've lost my passion for my job and I want a career change, but I'm worried that I'm too old (almost 28) to start something new although I've been trying (but having no luck). I regret not changing my career path sooner.

In the morning I can barely get myself out of bed. I have so much trouble falling asleep at night because there's so much on my mind, and in the morning I can barely get myself out of bed. Simple things like keeping my room tidy I can't even do anymore, I can barely manage to brush my teeth in the morning. I haven't been eating properly for about two weeks now. I've lost my appetite and I mostly live off water. I even neglect going to the doctor when I'm sick or in pain for whatever reason.

I feel pathetic and useless, and I've all but lost my will to live. My life wasn't always like this, there was a time when I was actually happy. I don't know how it came to this. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry if this post is all over the place, I just don't know where to begin and what to include or leave out.

Thanks for reading.

geoff · ‎29-01-2019

Hi Pinkdragon, I'm sorry for how you feel, can I just reply to you so that your thread will be pushed back onto page1.

Sometimes thread's get missed because the BB forum is busy, so is it OK just to do this now, as your thread seems to be urgent.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

Rocket_Man · ‎03-02-2019

Hi PinkDragon,

I'm not sure if I can solve every issue you describe in a single post, but even though you say you are in a dark place by comparison to how you formerly felt, I assure you there is no bottom to how miserable one can feel, if YOU ALLOW your circumstances to be that way. You sound like an overral strong person, and I think It's positive that you're unhappy with where you are, this means that you want more out of your life. Which is great, somethings inspired you to be better than you are, brilliant news ! However the negative self talk will not help, have you ever heard the phrase " I think, therefore I am ?" This is Rene Descartes.

I don't believe that you're pathetic and useless, but maybe just that you cant think about what it is that you're good at right now because you feel rubbish. However you are doing something about it, by posting on here, thats the perfect first step. If it helps to write all the negative stuff you feel on here please keep doing that. Keep posting. Thoughts have emotional charges attached to them, and when we write them out it relieves us of the emotional burden, and helps to see the situation more clearly. I love your brutal honesty with yourself, that you should've changed your career sooner, well, maybe you're right, maybe you need to be more honest more quickly when you're not happy with something, and do something about it? Another step of progress if you ask me, well done.

Please keep posting, or make a journal and get as much of the negative energy as you can down on paper and out of your mind, then see how you feel. let me know if this and my views work for you and I can send more steps if you need them.

Best wishes,