Feel useless

[Lukyfil]

Why am I 55 years old and still struggling to manage my severe depression?. I never got over my childhood, have no family, poor social skills, no support network and my life is a complete mess and I feel like a waste of space. I

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I see you have some support here already and some key questions from Smallwolf that would be interesting.

Life is hard for all of us humans, the difference is that some people cope with the rocks that rain down upon us better than others. Like you, many of us cannot flick off the past -like a confusing disfunctional childhood. Well done in writing and posting yours.

In my case in terms of a positive approach, my whole life changed at 26yo when I attended a motivation speech. In 30 short minutes I did a flip on everything I thought of. Even Covid19, recently here I mentioned the positives of that rotten disease!.

That leads me to mention a few thoughts for you to consider.

• A 1,2,5 and 10 year life plan. Mainly for setting goals and those goals can include- financial goals, hobbies and sports, and special interests.
• Peace in your mind. There's some great links in this thread. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/meditation---words-of-wisdom---...
• Distraction and variety. That can include from a big jigsaw in a spare room where you go to allow your mind to move from whats bothering you to focussing on pieces of a puzzle to walking around the block. Read the first post of this - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/depression-distraction-and-vari...
• A more positive approach to mixing with others. The balance of meeting new friends must be found, it might include a visit to the "mens shed" in your town but missing a week here and there to allow coping.
• Learning more about bipolar disorder. Lots of information here.

We have a thread here called THIS BIPOLAR LIFE. Feel free to join in the chat or just read.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/this-bipolar-life

Motivation- (just read the first post) https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/30-minutes-can-change-your-life

Finally, depressive cycles. I found with my bipolar depressive cycle there is little point forcing motivation at the wrong time. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/depression/depression-and-the-timing-of-moti...

You've taken a big step to write in here. It is a place I call home, being here many years I've seen members improve over time. It certainly is more accessible than professional medical staff (although not replacing them) being open 24/7/365.

I hope I've helped.

TonyWK

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Lukyfil,

Thank you for sharing such a tragic memory of yours. You're doing great, and you're strong for being able to share that. I'm sorry for your loss. Your childhood sounds really rough... I'm not quite sure whether to see the word "cured" as a good thing, as you mentioned that it was through discipline and punishment from just being who you are... On a positive note, your father sounds like a good man to me. Even though he could not perform his father-duties well to you when you were a child, but meeting up with you at the pubs most Sundays to have a few rounds of pool, means he loved you.

I'm always here for you if you'd like to have a chat, Lukyfil.

Jt