Feel depressed and rejected by family members

[Centil]

Hi all,

This is my first time writing here because I desperately need help. Our household is under big financial problem and I will be trapped in this situation for another 1 or 2 years, and I have been very depressed for the last 6 months and so, feeling helpless and trapped.

I have been trying to share stories with my mother, but it apparently stressed her up and made her avoiding me because she doesn't want to get depressed as well. Then, I tried to share stories with my brother and sister in law, but the reaction was the same. They think I am a difficult person, have always been negative and give them burdens by asking them to listen. Now both sides of my family are avoiding me. This action made me feel so rejected and helpless, since the closest people to me seems ignoring me.

I don't understand why my families rejected me in such a time like this, feels like I am a bag of smelly rubbish and have to be avoided at all costs. I need to talk to someone close to me, but noone wants to listen.

I hope someone out there can help, what should I do to overcome this rejection feeling now, while coping with depression at the same time?

Thank you so much for your time, whoever read this post.... I will really appreciate it.

[Croix]

Dear Centil~

I can't speak for your family but at least here people will understand and talk. A lot of the time when people avoid talking about depression and other mental illnesses it is not so much they don't like the person, but that they feel lost and inadequate.

While I admit this is a guess it may well be you mother is getting stressed because she does care, but at the same time does not know what to do or say to help. People normally rely upon past experience, and without that to fall back on can get stuck and feel inadequate and powerless.

It might sound pretty obvious but just listening can do an awful lot, even though at the time it may not feel like being a help. I found this when a close family member kept on phoning me after their partner died. There was nothing really I could say or do, but later on I found out how important those calls had been.

Feeling helpless, depressed and trapped by finances is a horrible way to be. Do you mind if I ask if you are currently seeing a doctor for your depression? It has made a huge difference to me.

Croix

[Centil]

Hi Croix,

Thank you for your reply. I appreciate the point you gave that other people simply do not know what to say or do when I told them about my depression, but from my side it feels like a strong rejection.

I have not seen a doctor yet, eventhough I am recently very bad temper, and I shutted myself down straight the way when I feel that other people do not want to listen.

I have been building walls and isolating myself, since I know others don't care and don't like my sad stories. Unfortunately I am not in the mood of joking or laughing, so trying to mend relationship with family won't work at this stage for me.

I am trying to cope just by myself at the moment, and through this online forum.

But thank you for your support, at least someone can listen.

[Croix]

Dear Centil~

Thank you for coming back and saying more. Trying to keep on going by yourself is sometimes possible I guess, though in my case that simply made things worse and I was harder to treat when I finally did go get help.

Your life sounds pretty miserable at the moment and I wish it was better for you. Maybe considering going to the doctor might be a first step, there is no harm in sounding a doctor out - what do you think?

Being isolated is not a good way to be. You are welcome here anytime. We do listen and understand because many of us have been in similar places

Croix

[White_Rose]

Dear Centil

I offer you a warm welcome to this forum. We will always listen to you and support you to the best of our ability.

As Croix has already commented, people are nervous when others start talking about their mental health. Sadly mental health is not well understood and can be scary to those who have not experienced this. How much do you understand about mental health in general and depression in particular?

Beyondblue has lots of information you may wish to read. Look at the blue tabs at the top of the page and look under The Facts. You can order booklets from beyondblue at no charge and also download the various fact sheets you are interested in. This may be useful to you. You can also give some of this information to family members which may help them to understand how you feel.

I think it is important to make a long appointment with your GP and talk about the things that bother you. Your GP can then put you in touch with others who can help you. Remember you can also phone the beyondblue helpline on 1300 22 4636, available 24/7.

Please write in here as often as you need.

Mary